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Excuses

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Posted

I've been cutting a little bit lately, but I've also had a bunch of deep cuts from replanting agaves (century plants) so my wife thinks they're all from that. Yesterday my cat scratched me (really) and it looks more like SI than any of my SI does. She got the whole back of my hand and my thumb.

So if you don't want to go into long explanations of your cutting you might try one of those excuses (though I think the cat one has been used to death).

Tommy

(Just rambling today)

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Posted

I vaguely remember, when I was raving drunk, that my husband asked me what the long cut on my arm was from. I said that a piece of glass broke while I was cutting it (framing).

The cat thing is pretty good, but our cat's 17 years old... all she does is drool.

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Posted

I think it can be useful to have excuses reserved for when you're with unfamiliar people who ask rudely about them and don't need to know the truth.

However there is another side to it. If people are trying to quit self harming, often it helps to maintain the honesty with people close to you who are involved in supporting your recovery. Sometimes habitually lying about your injuries can cause mistrust, enable you to self injure more and prevent you getting the medical help that you need. We don't want to promote self injury here, and while I acknowledge that excuses can come in useful, I would never advocate that self harmers get into the habit of hiding their habit from everyone. The ability to trust people and share your emotions with them is part of being able to stop self injury, in my experience. So excuses can be counter productive if over used in the long run.

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Posted

i hide.... and I lie ( if anyone accidentally sees anything even though i wear long sleeves a lot). It is very hard for me to trust.

I know that it is not good and i would not try to tell anyone to do what i do. also, at least for me, there are so many scars upon scars that using some old cat excuse never works. So, in reality, lies are just useless a lot of the time.

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Posted

My beautiful, darling tom cats actually do scratch the hell out of me on a regular basis (normally when I've instigated a play fight). However, I'm rather consistent in my SI and it's always my inner arms.

I'm trying to think of a good excuse for the 6 inch-long bandages I'm sporting on my inner forearms today. Any thoughts? Perhaps a very bad burn from pulling a tray out of the oven. Hands are fine because of oven mits. How does that sound?

The good news is that the weather in England is crap today so I have on long sleeves. Love to hear more bandage related excuses.

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Posted

ok..so ive stopped cutting.recently.but here are my scars from my cutting.do u think they will go away?what kinda exuses can i use?they r not deep,as u see,but theres a lot of them!

We don't allow pictures of scars, etc on the board. They are extremely triggering and repeated offenses can be cause for a ban.

This is why I've removed it.

LunaRufina

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Posted

Remove the picture. That is extremely triggering, and is unneccessary.

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Posted

Sorry, but you've been reported (not you, Rabbit).

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Posted

A pal noticed once, then pointed and laughed and called me a cutter. As if I do it because it's popular or emo or whatever it is. Probably all for the better anyway. I prefer it if 99.999% people don't give a shit about me.

And I've been dumb enough to put them in spots that can't be hidden unless I'm wearing long sleeves. And my scars last for about 5 years before they fade because I'm so ridiculously pale. *kicks self*

None of my excuses ever work (except back in Jr High when everyone was more gullible). When you have a bunch of cuts that are perfectly straight and in succession down your arms, there really is no good excuse. It's quite obvious what you've been doing.

But yes, I've used the whole cat thing, gardening thing, etc. Next time my SI flares up, I should just get a job in a scrapyard like some guy I know. Those guys are constantly covered in gouges and cuts. Poor dude.

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Posted

"this is the way that I say I need you..."

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Posted

I find that sarcastic or funny answers work cos it basically tells people to just back off. Examples.....

-I had unprotected sex with a porcupine.

-I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life.

-The neighbourhood cat and I had a disagreement about the paw prints on my truck.

-The police didn't comply with the terrorists' demands fast enough, so they took it out on us hostages.

-"Um, uh...I, uh....you see....I...uh...Well,...." At which point they usually try to help me out by replying, "Did you fall?" And I say, "Yes, thanks."

- Well, let me put it this way- You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet.

- I keep falling off of cliffs trying to catch that damned roadrunner.

- "I was oyster hunting." They give me a blank stare. Then I say, with a wink, "You've obviously never been oyster hunting before."

- "It's a long story." They usually leave me alone, but this one guy said, "I've got time." - Then I said, "I fell. [long pause] Ok, so it's obviously not THAT long."

- I was at this party with Marilyn Manson and everyone was giving out hugs.

- I lost a fight with a can of tuna fish.

- I slipped while making a salad.

- I thought those security tags on pants just sprayed ink, but apparently they spray shards of broken glass, too.

- Don't worry about it. Because of me, they now have a warning label!

- What are you talking about?? (as I quickly pull my sleeves up.)

- Damn Cat.

- DIY temporary tattoo...(lines)..yes it is horizontal lines...(okay and why?)...are you crushing my creativity??

- The voices told me to do it.

- I wrestle Tigers...

- I got them climbing a fence to escape this hell-hole. (said at school)

- (said to a guy who thinks I worship the devil) I did this as a sacramental offering to my dark lord, you prick. ::Smile::

- (about scars on my stomach) "Oh, those are from having my baby." "You don't have a baby!" "No, but I could."

- None of your business, you stupid (insert appropriate curse word here)

- I did it. (Hey, honesty works sometimes)

- You see I got stuck at the grand opening of the new magnet shop in town. Shame they put it opposite a knife store

-" I don

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Posted

this-is-me:

BWAH! thanks so much for that post--- man, you're creative.

cannot stop laughing (even tho it's a bummer about the reasons for the reasons)

yeah, a lot of those would sure shut people up. thank you so much for that, lol

m

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Posted

Laughter is the best medicine.

I've used the Edward Scissorhands one lol. I would not have the nerve to say many of the other ones.

What a great list.

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Posted

That list is so fantastic. Marilyn Manson party hugs.. I'm gonna use that one! ;)

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Posted

that's a fucking awesome list. i bet you could come up with creative explanations for nosy in-laws demanding grandchildren, people who want to know how much you make or what something cost...all those inconsiderate questions. damn, you could get paid to write a newspaper column.

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Posted

omg, that's hilarious. I'm not sure which one I liked the best.

Atm, I'm using the excuse of having to shove a pill down a cat's throat twice a day. She doesn't like it, or at least that's what I tell people. <in actuality, she doesn't put up a fight, but shhhhhhhh>

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Posted (edited)

firstly.. great list (:

secondly.. i haven't cut in.. a very very long time. i think it's probably been about 2 years now. i started in highschool and when my dad found out he took off all the doorknobs to my room and the bathroom and always checked for sharp objects. (which didn't matter, anyway, since i'd find things like tweezers or nail files to get the same effect.. just had to push harder)

anyway. my issue was (and still is, really, since the scars are pretty noticeable) that i always did them right there on my left wrist in many different angles and all obviously on veins. i guess my thing was the rush that if i only just pushed a little harder....

point is, i'm pretty sure whenever ANYBODY looks at my wrist it's obvious what it is. my biggest excuse i gave was, besides the cat thing (that is used to death isn't it), "honestly? i have no idea." and i'd make sure i was just generally surprised about it. I started using that excuse when I really *did* get a non-SI injury and was genuinely confused as to how it got there or what i did. people usually kind of just nod their head. whatever they think, honestly, i don't care. i use that excuse now, too, since all i have are ugly god-awful scars clustered about and people ask what in the heck happened i just say, "i don't know.. they've been there since I can remember."

i recently had to get my wisdom teeth taken out and they put me under via an IV-shot-thingy. no idea the real word for that. anyway, the doctor kind of stared at my wrist for a while and finally said, "do you, uh, have cats?" and i said, "yep."

honestly, i think people are more uncomfortable about it than you are. i think any excuse you give them, as long as somewhat plausible, they're going to grasp onto to avoid awkwardness. i've noticed people really don't know how to deal with people who SI and i'm baffled at how some people think that we just do it for attention or to be "emo." really... and they call *us* crazy.

and reading this over.. could i have used the word "honestly" any more? dear lord.

Edited by Shanna

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Posted

I got in a fight with the Geiko car insurance lizard. He may seem sweet on T.V. but OHHHH is that one EVIL LITTLE REPTILE!

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Posted

ok..so ive stopped cutting.recently.but here are my scars from my cutting.do u think they will go away?what kinda exuses can i use?they r not deep,as u see,but theres a lot of them!

We don't allow pictures of scars, etc on the board. They are extremely triggering and repeated offenses can be cause for a ban.

This is why I've removed it.

LunaRufina

i cant see the pictues but what i use is vitamine e oil. it really helps if theyre not too deep

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Posted

Well, I swim, and have a few really bad scars on my thighs. For those, I just say I was mauled by a bear. People are smart enough to figure out that I don't want to talk about it after that. Recently, I've moved back to my wrists, though, so I've been piling on the bracelets and drawing all over them, since I write and draw on my arms all the time anyway. I've used the mauled by a bear on my wrist once, though.

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Posted

I did it backwards. Went over the parts of my body in my mind, giving them all excuses, picking the most valid one, and then SI'ing on that part of my body. Usually my palms or the backs of my hands, which people suprisingly didn't notice often, and if they did, I would either say "papercut," or just shrug.

The bracelet thing works, as long as it isn't anything like a pale orange hair elastic. Because then it might get stained. And obvious. And lead to awkward questions. I said it was gravy and don't make fun of us messy eaters.

I think the only creative ones I used were "I fell in the tiger pit I was making. After I had put the spikes in the bottom" and "I hugged a rosebush because it was pretty. Why else?"

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Posted

That list did make me chuckle, I'm definitely going to use some I think! The worst for me is at work when colleagues ask "what have you done to your hand/wrist?" Especially since I work in a hospital where I have a short sleeved uniform, so the best I can do to cover up in a dressing or plaster on my wrist. In the beginning I used to say i fell over or I caught it on the door lock, but as to whether they believed me I don't know - it's true I think once you've given an answer they tend not to push it. I just feel like i can't keep using the same excuse, but to come up with a 'plausible' one now when the cuts are in the same place is a bit redundant. The sarcastic approach of giving an answer without actually giving an answer, seems like it might be the trick! blush.gif

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Posted

Tip for excuse-makers like me: make sure you're prepared. Really. Stumbling on saying "my dog did it" isn't that convincing, folks. And I've stumbled too many times that I've ended up in a pit. wall.gif

Although reading that list has inspired me to try the sarcastic trend. Dodging the question and being funny jerk at the same time? That sounds up my alley.

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Posted

My left forearm has a cluster of scars that are raised...I use Estee lauder night repair cream...that helps get rid of the color change from scars so that the color of your skin is more uniform...I think that is the big thing...the color is what jumps out. My scars are the same color generally as my skin...and I scar from a paper cut, I just put the night repair cream on any cut/wound I get as soon as it heals and it fades the enflamed skin and prevents dark scars.

People used to ask when I was a kid...I would just say nunya...and they would always say "nunya?"<I mean seriously you never heard this before.

"Nunya damn business"

The last tiem I was asked bout my scars was by my SO about 2 years ago, and this was after we where already together 6 yrs....I didn't respond. Before that it has to have been when I was 18. Really I think I may have gotten lucky though with being tan. But I swear use the Night repair cream!!! When I had my seizure on a main street about 6 years back I messed up my face...teeth went through my lip and i had road rash all over the left side of my face and a gash on my nose...I put bacitracin on the dound 3 times a dy until it healed and then as soon as there was no longer a wound I started with the cream...it does work on old scars too, use it sparingly and every night and every morning.

You guys have some clever answers...I was never that clever....I was lucky enough to go to school and SI at a time when 3/4 sleeves where all the hype and My cuts where covered just barely by my sleeves. Oh yeah and wrist bands are back in style guys/gals! Also Big bracelets and bangles, if it is on your arms divert their attention from your skin to that awesome turquoise bracelet or hot pink bangle! People are easily distracted.

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Posted

For recent SI, I make up really bad excuses. "Scratched my arm/leg on some petalled plant," "hit my head on the open window", etc. The funny thing is that all these things do happen in real life to me since I'm very awkward and blind. Most times though I just say I don't know. For scars, I just avoid the subject and deny SI when explicitly asked about it.

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