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dealing with a moody wife

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Posted (edited)

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Edited by muffins37

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She's always been moody but now it's getting worse. it's not one week a month, it's all month long. everything is ok one second and at the slightest thing she snaps and gets angry. it's like walking in a minefield.

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Posted

Oh God yes: communicate, communicate, communicate!

Nothing else will do. Get some help, please. You can do it!

Gracie

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Posted

Look at it from her point of view, she has finished Uni, she has nothing to occupy her, no status that comes from a degree or a job, and she has probably lost the social contact that studying brings. She is relying on you because that is all she might have.

Have you sat down and asked her how her life is at the moment, and what she plans to do now she has finished uni?

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she's always been moody but now it's getting worse. it's not one week a month, it's all month long. everything is ok one second and at the slightest thing she snaps and gets angry. it's like walking in a minefield.
Sorry if I missed this part, or if you asked her already, but, have you asked her what's wrong? Or like Karuna said, even just to say, "hey, what's up?" Sometimes a little kindness goes a long way. Maybe you can also tell her how you feel, but don't attack her or you will be doomed. Don't blindside her.

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Take it from me - I've been there many times before and wasted a great deal of my life with the same type of person that you are now married to - I tried everything including giving up most everything to please that person and in the end I discovered that they will never ever think the same way as I do and any type of help that I tried only confirmed that she was nuts ! Some women are intelligent, caring and understanding of what the world is about - they call the " Realistic " and most women and men are " Grown Up " and live within reality - your wife never grew up in reality. Some peopl, Men & Women alike are just nuts - Leave before you have children, this is the best time to salvage your happiness and move on to a productive whole life and let her go find herself some place else - beleive me it's not worth it in the long run. There are so many sincerely good people out there it should be no problem as long as you look at things realistically as well, this time don't rush in to a relationship without knowing more about the other person.

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I'm with Null0trooper. Therapy can really help. I've been married for 25 years and we have been through therapy several times, even when we were both ready to give up. Therapy has saved our marriage by teaching us how to communicate, which was the key to getting along.

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I'm been married to a few. Yes, I said a few. First I thought it was me. OK. I have done the shrink bit and all with the ex's-- It's not me. I realize that I have horrible luck and I am attracted to the WRONG type. Bail while you can! Realize that if she is still your GF and you are having to deal with anger issues, expecially if she does not have problems with disrespecting you or your family by putting you down or argueing in public than you should get the heck out. I am stuck and the worse off for it with number 3. She is bi-polar and it is a living hell from day to day.

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Posted

perhaps we need to clarify...this is a first person support site for people who are mentally ill themselves, not a bitch about your mi spouse site.

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Guest,

In every relationship both parties screw up. I sincerely doubt you have honestly examined all your behaviour and been able to absolve yourself totally. Having bad luck is one thing, being attracted to the wrong type is the opposite (you're very much in control of you pick.)

Grow up and stop ragging on people who are ill when you have character flaws of your own.

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Always Been Moody, Alyways Been Moody, Always will be Moody. Add hormones due to pregnancy you will have a basket-case. Trust me I am living proof. Bail Dude, while you can.

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Posted (edited)

Wow, is this the misogyny thread? Seriously, this is getting annoying. Your self-awareness is so poor that you repeatedly choose a type of woman whom you find annoying, only to then bitch about it? Piling on these unknown women, as if all women are the same is more an indicator of your faults than theirs. Sheesh.

Edited by crtclms

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Always Been Moody, Alyways Been Moody, Always will be Moody. Add hormones due to pregnancy you will have a basket-case. Trust me I am living proof. Bail Dude, while you can.

Well, Pete, I have a feeling that living with an immature, insensitive ass like you would make any woman "moody." Did you ever ask yourself if your behaviors and interactions may have contributed to her unhappiness?

No, of course not. So the answer is to "bail."

Love that mature response.

olga

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Posted

Thank you Olga.

I wanted to write that very thing, but didn't because maybe it's not my place?

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Posted

*shakes head*

Guys like this give the rest of us a bad name.

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Caillech, you have as much right to express an opinion here at CB as I do. Most of the time when I post, I'm posting as middle-aged-woman-wife-feminist-depressed broad-domestic goddess-stepmother or whatever role is the appropriate one. The only time I step in as a moderator is if I think a topic is spinning out of control and going nowhere.

Write on!

olga

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Posted

Take it from me - I've been there many times before and wasted a great deal of my life with the same type of person that you are now married to - I tried everything including giving up most everything to please that person and in the end I discovered that they will never ever think the same way as I do and any type of help that I tried only confirmed that she was nuts ! Some women are intelligent, caring and understanding of what the world is about - they call the " Realistic " and most women and men are " Grown Up " and live within reality - your wife never grew up in reality. Some peopl, Men & Women alike are just nuts - Leave before you have children, this is the best time to salvage your happiness and move on to a productive whole life and let her go find herself some place else - beleive me it's not worth it in the long run. There are so many sincerely good people out there it should be no problem as long as you look at things realistically as well, this time don't rush in to a relationship without knowing more about the other person.

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I'm not married, but I'm in a committed relationship. Marriage is something you enter in to for life, or at least thats what its *supposed* to be, regardless of religion or no religion. And things don't always work out for the best, and people change, and all that stuff. Everyone is human, everyone has needs and wants, gets grumpy. If you love someone enough to marry them, it seems reasonable and fair that you would respect them and your relationship enough to work with her on improving it. A lot of marriages seem to fall apart when the people in them don't care or try hard enough to put them back together.

having said that, not all things work perfectly and not every problem has a perfect solution. I am not trying to suggest to those who are already divorced that it was wrong, its not my place. Everyone has their own decisions to make.

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i've been married for 3 years now and i was happy about it but not long ago things started going crazy. she is really needy, i work hard (40+ hours a week depending on lots of stuff). now, when i get home, i absolutely have to spend every minute with her. if i make the mistake of playing on my computer, she will start to whine about me ignoring her. the hardest part is that she just finished her university session and doesnt have a job right now. more importantly, she never had a ''real'' job making me think she doesnt understand what it is to work hard all day and to have to entertain some all evening long.�

she's always been moody but now it's getting worse. it's not one week a month, it's all month long. everything is ok one second and at the slightest thing she snaps and gets angry. it's like walking in a minefield.�

i dont know how to work it out, iam starting to think about moving out, i just cant stand it anymore.

if anyone has been there or has a good advice, i would really appreciate it.

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Posted

Get the hell out I wish I did.

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Posted

Get the hell out I wish I did.

What, you can't leave?

Is it always the woman's fault if you are stupid enough to repeat the same mistakes over and over?

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Posted

First you should try telling her how you are feeling. Things can't change if she doesn't know how you feel.

I agree w/ the poster who suggested that your wife may be lonely and bored. Everyone should have something to do that is meaningful to them. Encourage your wife to get a job in a profession she likes, or at least find a hobby and a support group of some kind. It seems like your wife might not be very emotionally self sufficient and she depends on other people to control how she is feeling.

How old is your wife? If she is college aged, some of this may be immaturity. I am getting the vibe that you are much older than she is, which isn't necessarily a good idea. Guys tend to go for young girls but then they complain when they act like young girls. If you want an emotional equal it's good idea to look for women who are your peers.

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Posted

I'd love this in my home:

"I love you"

"How can I help"

"You're right"

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Posted

dude I have been married for three years to the same woman. Get out. I seriously work so freaking hard and then when I come home, it's all about her. I want to go get a beer but she goes nuts and says married people don't go drinking alone. She hates going out and hates it even more when I do. I have seriously struggled with suicidal thoughts because of her and I just don't know how to deal with her shit. Take my advice: she is emotionally stealing the little bit of joy you do have, LEAVE

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I'm in a relationship now that is painful. If I knew back then what I know now I would never of said I do. You will live your life not knowing when you are going to have a good day or a day that is not so good. It is not fair on your kids and it is not fair on the both of you. She might find someone to be happy with and so might you. You are in this life once. It's not a practice run for another. Ask yourself the question are you ready for this the rest of your life. Think long and hard for the answer. You will have to live with it always.

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