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mika

Weird therapy sessions

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What are some weird therapy stories or incidences that have happened during your sessions?

For example, bodily noises coming from the therapist or you. Lights going out. Walking out of therapy. etc.

C'mon, let's hear some funny ones! I know you all got some good ones!

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one handed me a book that said it will cure all my problems, i am sure it was written by her.

I threw it towards her and stormed out.

I think it got her hand.. oops.

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My stomach always grumbles REALLY loudly in therapy. I usually cough to cover it, but I don't know how well that works :)

Oh, here's a good one. The very first time I had therapy, when I was around 11, the therapist had this comfy armchair, and I had the rocking chair. It was really unstable, and I tend to lean forward when I talk. Long story short, it pitched me on my face ;)

After that, tdoc let me have the other chair :)

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Back in middle school I had to visit with the school social worker quite often. One time in the middle of our meeting she just took out a bunch of food and started eating. I must have given her a funny look because she looked up and me and said, "oh did you want some?"

When I was going to see my first tdoc with my mom like 10 years ago I kept biting at my nails in on session (they were uneven... ick) so finally my tdoc handed me a file.

With the first tdoc I had once I started going back about 3 years ago she told me there was nothing wrong with me and then went on to tell me all these things that were wrong with me... and at the end gave me a new dx of Schizotypal PD (on top of the PTSD and Major Depression again). This was all in the same appointment.

With my current tdoc one time I started having a coughing fit.. my eyes were tearing up pretty bad so I guess it looked like I was crying... She said, "Ohh what is making you so sad right now?"

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GC- Mine gave me a book about child abuse once, but I didn't throw it at her, haha.

Tryp- My stomach growls a lot and she always asks me why it's doing that.

DH- I think it's funny she gave you a nail file.

My therapist is awesome but there are some crazy stories:

Sometimes mine burps quietly sometimes but she is never embarrassed. Probably because therapy is embarrassing in the first place and she has probably seen worse.

I was scratching my back once and she thought I had been beaten because she thought I was hurt.

Sometimes her phone goes off, not really anymore, but I taught her how to press a button on the side to shut off the ring. She was so excited that she learned something new.

Yesterday some patient walked in on our session by accident and my therapist was pissed and jumped up and took the woman outside. Then the woman proceeded to ask where her pdoc's office was. The nerve, haha.

I once had a very bad panic attack in a session that lasted 45 minutes. And also I once ran out of the office to the bathroom and started puking violently. She thinks I have really horrible anxiety symptoms haha.

I also came in one time after a very bad incident and bawled my eyes out the entire session.

There are many more and I will think of them later.

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When I was younger (like 8-9 years old), I had a therapist who would take me next door to a Walgreens or CVS and bought me chips every session ;) .

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Oh I have a bunch.

- When I was in the psych ward, the head psych there asked me what I wanted to do when I was older (I was 17 at the time). I said I wanted to be a writer. He said GIRL INTERRUPTED had already been written. I said I also wanted to be a publisher. He said we had already had William Randolph Hurst. For some unforsaken reason, when I got out of the hospital, he became my psych. He asked me about my sex life for some reason. I said I had just lost my virginity. He told me the guy wouldn't remember me. I said he was a virgin too. The psych then went on to say that he MIGHT remember me. There's more with this guy. UGH.

- I made one of my therapists cry. Granted it was right after 9/11, but still. Same therapist used to video tape or sessions. I always thought that was odd.

- Another pdoc prescribed me Miltown which I didn't think had been in use since VALLEY OF THE DOLLS.

- One therapist was convinced that all of my problems stemmed from boys. I got really fed up with her (this was in high school), so I started telling her that my mom forgot to give me lunch money and she'd give me cash, which I would then turn around and spend on cigarettes, booze, comics, etc.

There's a lot more, but this is probably enough for now, heh.

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First session, student therapist, mentioned as background that I'd been raped, he asked me to describe it, so I did, and he fainted twice.

There's a thread here actually. Now I find it funny, at the time, it was a bit effed up ;)

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Oh I have a bunch.

- When I was in the psych ward, the head psych there asked me what I wanted to do when I was older (I was 17 at the time). I said I wanted to be a writer. He said GIRL INTERRUPTED had already been written. I said I also wanted to be a publisher. He said we had already had William Randolph Hurst. For some unforsaken reason, when I got out of the hospital, he became my psych. He asked me about my sex life for some reason. I said I had just lost my virginity. He told me the guy wouldn't remember me. I said he was a virgin too. The psych then went on to say that he MIGHT remember me. There's more with this guy. UGH.

- I made one of my therapists cry. Granted it was right after 9/11, but still. Same therapist used to video tape or sessions. I always thought that was odd.

- Another pdoc prescribed me Miltown which I didn't think had been in use since VALLEY OF THE DOLLS.

- One therapist was convinced that all of my problems stemmed from boys. I got really fed up with her (this was in high school), so I started telling her that my mom forgot to give me lunch money and she'd give me cash, which I would then turn around and spend on cigarettes, booze, comics, etc.

There's a lot more, but this is probably enough for now, heh.

Wow. The first guy is an asshole! that's awful. I would smack him! Was is trying to say you had BPD (girl interrupted)? that is so weird. And if some therapist video taped my sessions, I would walk right out and never come back!

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He was really, really terrible. He also prescribed me some awful drugs. I don't know what his deal was or why he was the head psych there. Luckily, even though I had just tried to kill myself, I know not to listen to his bullshit. I don't know why people kept on making me go back to him. I think they didn't believe me? I don't know. I did stop seeing him rather quickly. I just kept on 'failing to show up'. To this day I have no idea what he thought I had.

Video tape guy DID think I had BPD, and with Schizotypal Tendencies. Even with the videotaping and all of that, oddly enough, to date, he's been my favorite therapist ever. That's probably not saying much though.

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Not therapy as such, but the psychiatrist who fixed my meds advised me to breathe into a paper bag when I had a panic attack on the tube. Yeah. Right.

The first counsellor I ever saw suggested firstly to be careful of the yoga stuff I was involved with, as it might be a cult... then later to say that she wouldn't refer me on after the standard employment 6 sessions thing [it was through my county's teacher counselling service] because I was involved with the yoga.

And either she was trying to 'protect' me or she was blind, because she said I wasn't stressed or depressed or anything... this was back in 1996. Hah. I've since been diagnosed with recurrent depression and complex trauma stuff... and was pretty ill the time when I saw the woman... perhaps I didn't tell her much - I was way over stressed... facing losing my job over disciplinary procedure, falling apart at work... passively suicidal... um. Not stressed? My current therapist has informed me that I was suffering a breakdown. Which is true. I guess I hid it too well, scared as I was of anything mental illness related back then.

When I told my previous therapist that I self harrmed, her response was 'everyone self harms in some way' Like that's going to help me? Profound truth, maybe, but how's it supposed to help ME?

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Years ago I was planning a solo interstate bus trip and told a psychiatrist of my fears about other passengers on the bus wanting to talk to me. After talking about himself and other issues unrelated to me for 45 minutes, he suggested that I just talk to people. Buh? I could've got better insight & advice from the postman.

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One therapist called a malpractice lawyer during my session to find out if one of my family members could sue her if I killed myself. Then, I was basically advised to make a non-family member the executor of my estate so that my family couldn't have access to her records. It was pretty strange. Among other things, I'd paid for all the session in cash specifically because I didn't want any record of seeing anyone if something did happen. She admitted that she was afraid of my asshole brother. Basically, if I wouldn't promise to change my will, she wouldn't see me any longer. Then, at the next session, she cried because she had freaked out so much herself. strange....

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One therapist called a malpractice lawyer during my session to find out if one of my family members could sue her if I killed myself. Then, I was basically advised to make a non-family member the executor of my estate so that my family couldn't have access to her records. It was pretty strange. Among other things, I'd paid for all the session in cash specifically because I didn't want any record of seeing anyone if something did happen. She admitted that she was afraid of my asshole brother. Basically, if I wouldn't promise to change my will, she wouldn't see me any longer. Then, at the next session, she cried because she had freaked out so much herself. strange....

I think that therapist needs a therapist of her own.

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Hmmm... I've only seen this new tdoc three times now but on one occasion, he used Winnie the Pooh characters as metaphors. Apparently I'm like Eeyore. Like you couldn't see that one coming. Dude's a genius I swear. ;)

Oh AND I'M 34. No cartoon characters during therapy. Thanks.

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Hehe, my pdoc uses weird metaphors all the time.

She said my weird attachment patterns "Come from the part of me that doesn't want to be eaten by a wolf"

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Hmmm... I've only seen this new tdoc three times now but on one occasion, he used Winnie the Pooh characters as metaphors. Apparently I'm like Eeyore. Like you couldn't see that one coming. Dude's a genius I swear. ;)

Oh AND I'M 34. No cartoon characters during therapy. Thanks.

HAHAHAHA!

We used to use those metaphors to describe co-workers at my work. I was half piglet half tigger, lol!

Edited by mika

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Well, there was the session w/my current therapist where I explained my meds to her, that b/c you are talking an anti-psychotic doesn't mean you are psychotic, though yes, I have psychotic features, then I got to explain the difference between psychotic features and psychosis, and also that psychopharmacologists are indeed doctors and just b/c her supervisor thinks I should be seen by a psychiatrist every 30 days doesn't mean I need to be seen by a psychiatrist every 30 days, stick to the therapy thanks.

OH, and she's FASCINATED by one of my paranoid delusion type things, where I think people behind me can see into my head and that if they were able to look without me blanking my thoughts for long enough, they could enter my head (a quick description, but it'll do) and I mentioned that my boyfriend is the only person I've never worried about doing that/being able to do that, and then she got excited and asked if I thought she was doing that, and I was like 'I sit facing you' DUH.

But I'm not doing therapy for awhile now - I think talking about the abuse stuff while not being stable on meds was too stressful and possibly making the psychotic stuff worse, so I'm waiting until I'm good and long-term stable. My psychopharmacologist said that was 'sage'.

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My prescriber is a psychiatric nurse practioner.

I just had surgery on my ankle and I have a huge splint with ace bandage wrapped all around it.

I sat waiting and she came out and we went into the office. She told me that i needed to elevate my leg. So she grabbed a chair and propped my leg on it. My ace bandage was falling off a little by the toes and she said let me fix that..."I'm a nurse, you know". So she fixed it perfectly and the bottom part was a little dirty too, but she didn't mind. Then she said, "What is your pain scale?" As I answered her I was thinking that she is the most considerate "pdoc" EVER. She was so concerned when I was leaving because I was taking a taxi (can't drive right now) and said, "make sure you keep it elevated". She had another patient waiting too.

I thought it was a out of the usual appointment. and she made my day. ;)

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Well, there was the session w/my current therapist where I explained my meds to her, that b/c you are talking an anti-psychotic doesn't mean you are psychotic, though yes, I have psychotic features, then I got to explain the difference between psychotic features and psychosis, and also that psychopharmacologists are indeed doctors and just b/c her supervisor thinks I should be seen by a psychiatrist every 30 days doesn't mean I need to be seen by a psychiatrist every 30 days, stick to the therapy thanks.

OH, and she's FASCINATED by one of my paranoid delusion type things, where I think people behind me can see into my head and that if they were able to look without me blanking my thoughts for long enough, they could enter my head (a quick description, but it'll do) and I mentioned that my boyfriend is the only person I've never worried about doing that/being able to do that, and then she got excited and asked if I thought she was doing that, and I was like 'I sit facing you' DUH.

But I'm not doing therapy for awhile now - I think talking about the abuse stuff while not being stable on meds was too stressful and possibly making the psychotic stuff worse, so I'm waiting until I'm good and long-term stable. My psychopharmacologist said that was 'sage'.

JARN! I was waiting for you to post, and then you didn't even tell the story about The Fainter!

You could always do non-abuse centered therapy for a while. My therapist and I didn't get to my childhood for about 8 months because I didn't feel safe doing it, but we still did other useful stuff and I got support and all that.

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Well, there was the session w/my current therapist where I explained my meds to her, that b/c you are talking an anti-psychotic doesn't mean you are psychotic, though yes, I have psychotic features, then I got to explain the difference between psychotic features and psychosis, and also that psychopharmacologists are indeed doctors and just b/c her supervisor thinks I should be seen by a psychiatrist every 30 days doesn't mean I need to be seen by a psychiatrist every 30 days, stick to the therapy thanks.

OH, and she's FASCINATED by one of my paranoid delusion type things, where I think people behind me can see into my head and that if they were able to look without me blanking my thoughts for long enough, they could enter my head (a quick description, but it'll do) and I mentioned that my boyfriend is the only person I've never worried about doing that/being able to do that, and then she got excited and asked if I thought she was doing that, and I was like 'I sit facing you' DUH.

But I'm not doing therapy for awhile now - I think talking about the abuse stuff while not being stable on meds was too stressful and possibly making the psychotic stuff worse, so I'm waiting until I'm good and long-term stable. My psychopharmacologist said that was 'sage'.

JARN! I was waiting for you to post, and then you didn't even tell the story about The Fainter!

You could always do non-abuse centered therapy for a while. My therapist and I didn't get to my childhood for about 8 months because I didn't feel safe doing it, but we still did other useful stuff and I got support and all that.

same here, we are waiting to get into details of certain things until i move out. I go home back to my triggers when i leave therapy and I get all worked up being at home after talking about abuse. You are doing the right thing.

Edited by mika

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Well, there was the session w/my current therapist where I explained my meds to her, that b/c you are talking an anti-psychotic doesn't mean you are psychotic, though yes, I have psychotic features, then I got to explain the difference between psychotic features and psychosis, and also that psychopharmacologists are indeed doctors and just b/c her supervisor thinks I should be seen by a psychiatrist every 30 days doesn't mean I need to be seen by a psychiatrist every 30 days, stick to the therapy thanks.

OH, and she's FASCINATED by one of my paranoid delusion type things, where I think people behind me can see into my head and that if they were able to look without me blanking my thoughts for long enough, they could enter my head (a quick description, but it'll do) and I mentioned that my boyfriend is the only person I've never worried about doing that/being able to do that, and then she got excited and asked if I thought she was doing that, and I was like 'I sit facing you' DUH.

But I'm not doing therapy for awhile now - I think talking about the abuse stuff while not being stable on meds was too stressful and possibly making the psychotic stuff worse, so I'm waiting until I'm good and long-term stable. My psychopharmacologist said that was 'sage'.

JARN! I was waiting for you to post, and then you didn't even tell the story about The Fainter!

You could always do non-abuse centered therapy for a while. My therapist and I didn't get to my childhood for about 8 months because I didn't feel safe doing it, but we still did other useful stuff and I got support and all that.

LOL! I did, up above! Maybe everyone missed it.

But yup, I had a brand-new therapist faint on me TWICE after I described being raped to him (he asked). He said it was b/c he was trying 'to stay with how I would've felt' .....dude, there's a reason why people dissassociate. And then when I stopped seeing him, despite him being all worried at the time that I would feel uncomfortable seeing him, after the fact he was all 'this is relational therapy, it's about me as well as you' YEAH OK there fainter! (Every time I think of him, 'MAN UP!' pops uncontrollably into my head, which isn't very nice, but he ended up being a jerk.)

I thought about doing non-abuse stuff for awhile, but honestly, I'd rather save the money (I really aren't going b/c I think it was too much, but, if that's a happy side effect of skipping off for awhile, so be it). My therapist is also supportive of me taking time off. Plus it probably didn't help that she was really aggravating me with the constant seeing into my head stuff - I feel like for the last 4 sessions, we talked about it at least half the time. Has she never had a crazy patient before? It's annoying! Plus, I don't mean this badly, but I already have coping mechanisms for that delusion, b/c I've had it since I was a little kid, so why are we discussing it? It's not like I need to figure out how to cope with it and I really don't believe that we can therapy away my psychotic stuff by discussing it in gross detail. Just me though ;)

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Oh, okay, now I see where you mentioned it. Sorry, I just got all excited when I saw this thread open up because I knew nobody could top your story.

Yeah, your therapist at the moment sounds a little...odd...as well.

Hopefully when you're ready to do abuse stuff, you can find someone decent to do it with.

I still think if you could find a decent tdoc, there's lots of non-abuse stuff you could be doing, but I see where you're coming from - real life doesn't always allow us to do the ideal thing.

Edited by tryp

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There was the therapist I had who would take off her shoes, and prop her bare feet up on an ottoman not two feet from me. Ewww... During session, I often was distracted by her feet. Nope, they didn't stink. I'm no longer with that t-doc.

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There was the therapist I had who would take off her shoes, and prop her bare feet up on an ottoman not two feet from me. Ewww... During session, I often was distracted by her feet. Nope, they didn't stink. I'm no longer with that t-doc.

Haha, that would distract me and I would think that she didn't give a shit about what I was saying.

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