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Reasons for staying on meds (poll)

Why do you stay on meds?  

817 members have voted

  1. 1. Why do you stay on meds?

    • to help prevent depression
      603
    • to help prevent anxiety
      458
    • to help prevent mania
      410
    • to help prevent psychosis
      287
    • to stay in remission
      263
    • to help prevent irritability
      393
    • so my family or friends don't have to deal with the fallout
      478
    • I don't want to lose my job / have to drop out of school
      357
    • so I don't have to be hospitalized
      435
    • I can't afford another spending spree
      182
    • so I don't have to apologize to a lot of people afterward
      268
    • to help prevent other symptoms (obsessions/compulsions, etc)
      247
    • to stay functional (can leave the house, etc)
      503
    • because I don't want the same thing that happened last time to happen again
      455
    • to help prevent self-injury
      251
    • so that I'm not dead
      405
    • so that I can sleep
      387
    • additional reasons (put in post if you like)
      61
  2. 2. Why do you stay on meds even if they're not fully working?

    • I'm still less crazy than I am without them
      588
    • The benefits outweigh the side effects
      350
    • They work better than the last set of meds
      283
    • see above reasons
      199
    • additional reasons (put in post if you like)
      46


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bottom line ... without my meds i would be dead.

life may sometimes seem pale compared to the multidimensional reality and adrenaline rush of the crazy ...

but it beats the hell out of being dead

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I hate the person I am unmedicated.

Weirdly, I prefer me unmedicated. I feel like I'm freer, I don't feel like I'm 'controlled' by the medicine I take, you see?! And there's that cliché of being more creative. But I can't survive for long in that state. Maybe one day I will, but as of now.. no.

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I take my antipsychotic for irritability. During hte winter of 2009/2010, I had the worst experience of chronic overload (sensory reactivity) and irritability I've had in a looong while, and often felt my head would explode from the symptoms. I don't want this to happen again. I also ticked the box about not wanting to bother friends/famliy with my symptoms, but that is really a minor reason; if the people around me had noticed an improvement in symptoms but I hadn't and was still feeling like my head would explode, etc., I would have quit the med. Oh by the way it also indirectly prevents self-injury, cause most of my self-injury comes from overload.

For me, the medication works with just very minor side effects, so I'm not really sure what to say to the second question. I am relatively unwilling to tolerate side effects, so I'm not sure what I would've done if I'd gotten more side effects. But so I just voted the benefits outweigh the side effects.

Btw, why is this thread in the bipolar forum rather than a med forum? Was it intended just for bp sufferers?

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- to help prevent depression

-to stay in remission

i have a theory that my meds make me more prone to irritability though.

-so my friends and family don't have deal with the fallout ^but they have to deal with that, still. try to control it as best as i can.

-so that i'm not dead (im afraid i might kill myself)

-because i dont want the same thing that happened last time to happen again

not really to prevent self-injury, but i guess it does help.. kinda..

-so that i can sleep

-im still less crazy than i am without them.

-the benefits outweigh the side effects... despite that, people still don't think im very 'well'.

it sucks, but they don't know how far i've come. rolleyes.gifmellow.gif

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I have been taking my meds as directed for a few years now.Funny I haven't heard any really bad things for a few years now either,like will the defendant please rise,or I don't know what happen he just took off his clothes and sat in the snow,or hey what's your major malfunction??,and sir,your really gonna buy all my pumpkins??I have over 100,yes I'm gonna carve every last one before sunset.I could go on and on but,I don't have to dig very deep for reasons in staying med compliant.My wife,family,music,and my grip though shaky at times.I go through some tough times like right now,spring time there's days I say why the hell do I even take this Fing lithium!? then I go through my cranial rolodex hospital,guilt,deep dark pain and shame.Something else I know but at times fight to believe,is that I've been here before,it's gonna really suck for a while but down the road I'll be me again.When I don't think I need to take my meds that's when I need them most,to me it's like a battle and the meds are fighting with you keeping your head above water until your strong enough to swim on your own.Good topic makes you alert and god knows we need more lerts. Oh and go Cubs!

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I always complain about taking meds and threaten to throw them in the garbage because I still cycle on them.

But my shrink says it's little blibs, not the big blibs I had so I stay on them.

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Guest

I constantly think about stopping them, but the last time I was manic I spent well over half my savings, and did too many stupid things to count.

It was fun... but it will end. During it everything seems so right, You can do no wrong, it feels fucking amazing. But then it ends, and everything you did just hits you.

If I could get the mania without the fucked up reversal, I would in an instant. I realize I do stupid things during it, but the thing is I *Don't care* during it. It feels amazing, I don't give a shit if I fuck up. If it were to never end I would never care. Because if I cared it would have ended? Ugh circular logic aside, I really can't afford to go off them and to relapse, As attractive as it seems.

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I don't think keeping are asses out of the court room was mentioned or agonizing regret,and how about good ole self loathing.It's taken me awhile to figure out half my that my battle with bp is the depth of guilt I endure over my transgressions.I take my medicine like a man these days to me there's no other option,except maybe a life of extreme loneliness.Responsibilities for your friends and family is a key motivator.

Going -on- meds precipitated my divorce, or more precisely, the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder and epilepsy. Also

used to strip all visitation or custody of my then six-year-old son (now twenty-two). Meds didn't save me, and in Florida, mental disorder is valid grounds for divorce (note: I was never any threat to my ex- wife, including a statement saying so from the Navy psychs who did the diagnosis, which were disallowed on the grounds they were not Florida-licensed doctors).

If a court or lawyer or jury or judge wants to burn you, meds won't save you. $50,000 of child support later, and I don't remember how much alimony (awarded in a state which has no alimony), I am now free of my ex-wench, though I now have a son who does not know me and will not speak to me - I assume from fourteen years of indoctrination from my ex.

Oh and three cholesterol tests later now (all at my expense because the VA won't pay for testing from a civilian they have already done - see my post about statins "up there") my cholesterol test is still unremarkably normal, with a slightly modified Mayo Clinic low cholesterol diet. The VA -still- won't give me that second opinion mandated by Federal law, and still won't accept the civilian physician and lab's opinions, and still won't remove the "Against Medical Advice" marker from my records. No, meds won't save you, and a second opinion might not either.

James/Romance editor/disabled Vet

Edited by Anymouse

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Going -on- meds precipitated my divorce, or more precisely, the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder and epilepsy. Also

used to strip all visitation or custody of my then six-year-old son (now twenty-two). Meds didn't save me, and in Florida, mental disorder is valid grounds for divorce (note: I was never any threat to my ex- wife, including a statement saying so from the Navy psychs who did the diagnosis, which were disallowed on the grounds they were not Florida-licensed doctors).

I unfortunately know of several people who ended their marriages based on mental illness. The last was a supervisor at an HR job I had. After my big breakdown and bipolar diagnosis, I noticed that she suddenly started treating me like shit. Turns out it was because she saw my FMLA paperwork with mental craziness on it. Turns out her recent divorce was because her husband was MDD and he'd just lost his job due to missed work. So she was supportive enough to divorce him, calling him dead weight. Turns out the reason she started hating me was because I was reminding get a bit too much of the ex.

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Guest Me too

I am on a board right now where someone is going off meds and according to her doing much better than she ever has. It is tempting. That is why I came on here. I needed to get reminded why I take the pills. I don't want to be crasy and suicidal. Last episode I became very close to offing myself. It is tempting though because it taps into my biggest desires - to be normal and not need meds. I feel weak needing the meds. I know that it takes more strength to admit your need but I am a bit raw right now. I am still in that stage of not wanting to believe it is real. I wonder if I was just stronger, wiser, etc. if I would have been able to cope. Then reality smacks me in the face and I know I need, that it is illness not weakness, I need the meds and am grateful they are here helping me out.

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I am on a board right now where someone is going off meds and according to her doing much better than she ever has. It is tempting. That is why I came on here. I needed to get reminded why I take the pills. I don't want to be crasy and suicidal. Last episode I became very close to offing myself. It is tempting though because it taps into my biggest desires - to be normal and not need meds. I feel weak needing the meds. I know that it takes more strength to admit your need but I am a bit raw right now. I am still in that stage of not wanting to believe it is real. I wonder if I was just stronger, wiser, etc. if I would have been able to cope. Then reality smacks me in the face and I know I need, that it is illness not weakness, I need the meds and am grateful they are here helping me out.

Maybe you are stronger and wiser in realizing that that staying on meds offers you the most hopeful future.

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I am on a board right now where someone is going off meds and according to her doing much better than she ever has.

Some of us are better at self-assessment than others, my friend.

If she's hypomanic, she may think she's just fine. Meanwhile, everyone else in her life thinks she's an asshole, she's run up a $5K credit card debt, developed a drinking problem and got a new STD.;)

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Going -on- meds precipitated my divorce, or more precisely, the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder and epilepsy. Also

used to strip all visitation or custody of my then six-year-old son (now twenty-two). Meds didn't save me, and in Florida, mental disorder is valid grounds for divorce (note: I was never any threat to my ex- wife, including a statement saying so from the Navy psychs who did the diagnosis, which were disallowed on the grounds they were not Florida-licensed doctors).

I unfortunately know of several people who ended their marriages based on mental illness. The last was a supervisor at an HR job I had. After my big breakdown and bipolar diagnosis, I noticed that she suddenly started treating me like shit. Turns out it was because she saw my FMLA paperwork with mental craziness on it. Turns out her recent divorce was because her husband was MDD and he'd just lost his job due to missed work. So she was supportive enough to divorce him, calling him dead weight. Turns out the reason she started hating me was because I was reminding get a bit too much of the ex.

But the last laugh was on me. My ex- later remarried. She lost her job right after she bought a new construction home, and a new car. He supposedly went to Iowa to get a job in his hometown. He didn't write, he didn't write, the mortgage companies are about to seize her home and car, her drug addict sister moved her children in with my ex-, then her mother moved in with her when the sister caused her to lose her (fully paid for) home over stolen credit cards and theft. My ex- had squandered over $50,000 worth of child support, with nothing to show for it for my son (that's a lot of money for someone on disability the whole time).

I started corresponding with a woman on Yahoo! Answers that it turned out later he had remarried in a common law bigamous marriage, after that woman had been the homewrecker in my ex-'s second marriage. I gleefully filled in both women on what the schmuck had done to both of them (including fathering children on the second "wife.")

My son bailed out of the home when I informed him (she had full custody and I was prohibited visitation, though I could write, because of the crazy diagnosis written into my divorce decree also prohibited me from doing anything with my son except cough up 40% of my disability every month to my wife). Good for him, needs to get away from the normal people he has been living with.

She is still married to the schmo, but both women are trying to take the schmuck apart in court, though he has no money. And my ex- dumped me because -I- was crazy. In the meantime, the publisher I work for hired me partially because the then-CEO was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I was promoted to Editor (despite no degree, a company requirement) because I have shown I can do the work, in other words, for merit. (She is no longer CEO but still works with the company as marketing director. But then the company is composed entirely of women, but me, anyway, and who can tell what they are thinking? ;) )

Edited by Anymouse

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My bipolar revolves around a few core principles: deep suicidal depression, short periods of remission, rapid cycling to depression, random pseudo-manias that are almost indistinguishable from a schizophrenic episode in every way.

So, the key things for me on meds is to keep that horrifying depression away, stop any cycling, and find a way to manage potential psychotic mania (this means stay on Lithium and use Zyprexa for a few days if I get bad).

I also stay on them since I really feel I would be in jail for a serious crime by now. I would also probably be a really hard core drug addict.

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Guest karin

I am on a board right now where someone is going off meds and according to her doing much better than she ever has.

Some of us are better at self-assessment than others, my friend.

If she's hypomanic, she may think she's just fine. Meanwhile, everyone else in her life thinks she's an asshole, she's run up a $5K credit card debt, developed a drinking problem and got a new STD.;)

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Guest karin

I truly like your comment.

Thanks!

That is my problem as well - I always believe that I am just fine. I am the only one, though!

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I hate the person I am unmedicated.

Me too, I was such a selfish and stupidly impulsive person. I'm pretty boring now though...

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Going -on- meds precipitated my divorce, or more precisely, the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder and epilepsy. Also

used to strip all visitation or custody of my then six-year-old son (now twenty-two). Meds didn't save me, and in Florida, mental disorder is valid grounds for divorce (note: I was never any threat to my ex- wife, including a statement saying so from the Navy psychs who did the diagnosis, which were disallowed on the grounds they were not Florida-licensed doctors).

I unfortunately know of several people who ended their marriages based on mental illness. The last was a supervisor at an HR job I had. After my big breakdown and bipolar diagnosis, I noticed that she suddenly started treating me like shit. Turns out it was because she saw my FMLA paperwork with mental craziness on it. Turns out her recent divorce was because her husband was MDD and he'd just lost his job due to missed work. So she was supportive enough to divorce him, calling him dead weight. Turns out the reason she started hating me was because I was reminding get a bit too much of the ex.

I'm lucky in that way I guess... My husband (who is also on meds for severe anxiety) has put up with so much from my bipolar behavior. We have been together since high school (I am 31 now) and he's seen ALL my ups and downs and seen me go through many different meds... and still seems to love me unconditionally. It's really, really sad that you were not allowed to see your son anymore... My husband and I have always talked about adoption (if and when we get our own shit together) but I don't know if they let crazy people adopt. (Even though we are crazy I know we'd be really good parents, we've both taken care of a lot of kids). But if you were no threat to them, there is no reason they should have taken that right away from you. It can screw with a child's mind quite substantially to have one of their parents taken away from them.

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Going -on- meds precipitated my divorce, or more precisely, the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder and epilepsy. Also

used to strip all visitation or custody of my then six-year-old son (now twenty-two). Meds didn't save me, and in Florida, mental disorder is valid grounds for divorce (note: I was never any threat to my ex- wife, including a statement saying so from the Navy psychs who did the diagnosis, which were disallowed on the grounds they were not Florida-licensed doctors).

I unfortunately know of several people who ended their marriages based on mental illness. The last was a supervisor at an HR job I had. After my big breakdown and bipolar diagnosis, I noticed that she suddenly started treating me like shit. Turns out it was because she saw my FMLA paperwork with mental craziness on it. Turns out her recent divorce was because her husband was MDD and he'd just lost his job due to missed work. So she was supportive enough to divorce him, calling him dead weight. Turns out the reason she started hating me was because I was reminding get a bit too much of the ex.

I'm lucky in that way I guess... My husband (who is also on meds for severe anxiety) has put up with so much from my bipolar behavior. We have been together since high school (I am 31 now) and he's seen ALL my ups and downs and seen me go through many different meds... and still seems to love me unconditionally. It's really, really sad that you were not allowed to see your son anymore... My husband and I have always talked about adoption (if and when we get our own shit together) but I don't know if they let crazy people adopt. (Even though we are crazy I know we'd be really good parents, we've both taken care of a lot of kids). But if you were no threat to them, there is no reason they should have taken that right away from you. It can screw with a child's mind quite substantially to have one of their parents taken away from them.

I think you misunderstood the quotation above. I have a happy marriage (18 years in three weeks) and I'm actually the primary caregiver because I don't work and hubby can have long hours at times.

If you meant to talk to the person I was quoting, look for their post and quote them so they know you are talking to them.

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I have had a little to drink, so I will ask a possibly controversial topic. Does anyone simply stay on their meds because their doctor, their family, their spouse, etc. wants them to, rather than one's self feeling any actual satisfaction and progress with the meds one is one. This question really only pertains to those who have been on MANY MANY meds and have nearly given up on their options?

That is how I feel right now and I am concerned, as I am only 22.

EDIT: I made a grammatical error.

Edited by etkearne

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I can't figure out if you are an insulting ass, or a whiny baby who just does as he's told. Perhaps you are questioning your own motives rather than ours.

If, in fact, you are a giant asshole, you obviously don't read any of our posts. I myself just write a blog posting about talking to my pdoc next week about possibly removing/switching by zyprexa for various reasons.

And I know I'm not alone. If you think we are just some sheep just nodding in agreement with what our doctors/families/friends want, then maybe CB isn't the right fit for you and you should move on.

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I happened to have a feeling that you guys wouldn't like this. I have tried other boards and I thought I would fit in here. I guess I really am a hopeless piece of shit. Thanks.

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Well, what did you expect us to say? That we just follow doctor's orders for 5, 10, or more years with no input by ourselves? It really was an idiotic and tasteless post.

If you want to fit in, try treating us like equals (not subservients) that just might know something helpful that you didn't know.

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Wow. You misread my post. I was simply stating my OWN dissatisfation with my OWN treatment. I was reaching out to other people who have felt abused by their doctors. That's all.

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