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The "No Drinks Club" sounds exactly like my cup of tea!

I quit doing drugs (excepts prescribed meds in the correct amount) on my birthday of this year and quit drinking in early October, both after 36+ years of abuse. I have not spent a single minute of my adult life NOT under the influence of something.

I too find it hard to deal with AA and NA. They say "take what you need and leave the rest", well I appreciate their sincerity, but as someone here mentioned, going to meetings makes me want to useblink.gif

Not an excuse, just a fact. And I will do whatever it takes to stay clean and sober. So for now, no meetings.

For re-enforcement and partially to avoid jail, I voluntarily put myself into a 28-day V.A. in-patient substance abuse treatment program 20 days after my last drink. I still had to do 2 days in jail with a 1 year sentence suspended. (Thankfully I got my meds and slept through most of it lol).

I'm sorry to be babbling. All I really meant to say was: This clean and sober thing is a new adventure for me. Perhaps with continued sobriety, my psychological and emotional problems will begin straighten out. This living each day as an adult is not so bad after all.

I'm going back to college in a few weeks to finish 2 degrees I started over 30 years ago.

Who's to say what brought on what, the psych problems or the drug/alcohol abuse...

Please forgive the babble.

Best wishes.

~wp

Edited by whirledps

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The "No Drinks Club" sounds exactly like my cup of tea!

I quit doing drugs (excepts prescribed meds in the correct amount) on my birthday of this year and quit drinking in early October, both after 36+ years of abuse. I have not spent a single minute of my adult life NOT under the influence of something.

I too find it hard to deal with AA and NA. They say "take what you need and leave the rest", well I appreciate their sincerity, but as someone here mentioned, going to meetings makes me want to useblink.gif

Not an excuse, just a fact. And I will do whatever it takes to stay clean and sober. So for now, no meetings.

For re-enforcement and partially to avoid jail, I voluntarily put myself into a 28-day V.A. in-patient substance abuse treatment program 20 days after my last drink. I still had to do 2 days in jail with a 1 year sentence suspended. (Thankfully I got my meds and slept through most of it lol).

I'm sorry to be babbling. All I really meant to say was: This clean and sober thing is a new adventure for me. Perhaps with continued sobriety, my psychological and emotional problems will begin straighten out. This living each day as an adult is not so bad after all.

I'm going back to college in a few weeks to finish 2 degrees I started over 30 years ago.

Who's to say what brought on what, the psych problems or the drug/alcohol abuse...

Please forgive the babble.

Best wishes.

~wp

Babbling is encouraged!! the good stuff, the hard stuff - this is the place and congrats on how far you have come so far ... and best of luck in college!! I'm in school working on my Master's degree - to become a teacher - a dream I've had for over 20 years but never pursued.

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If rabbit37 reads this, I was just wondering how you're doing. Has your husband left on his trip yet? I hope you're doing OK.

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Thank you for asking, crazy, I was just coming here to post!

He left this morning. My mind has been churning with cravings, thinking how easy it would be to drive to the next small town (mustn't risk being seen!) and buy something. All sorts of other things are flying through my mind, tho... how I would have to plan and drop my meds for a day, not knowing if they're compatible... my god, what if my breath still smelled the next morning when I walked the kids to school?... and the worst of all, the fact that I am solely responsible for two young-ish children while he's away. It's this last thought that is giving me chills, and keeping me from caving. He would never forgive me - nor should he - if something happened while he was away, and I was drinking.

The consequences are just too vast for me to do this. I'm angry, of course... why can't I have a glass of wine like a normal person? Why did I have to be so thoughtless and helpless, that I would ruin any chance of drinking for the rest of my life? I didn't ask to be an alcoholic, so why did this happen to me? Selfish, whining thoughts, all of them.

I think I'm going to be okay, actually. I have to keep myself busy during school hours, because I don't dare take my kids into a liquor store. Wait, did I just say that I'm okay? No, I'm not okay, but I think I might make it. I'll be coming back here to whine some more, I'm sure.

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Hang in there rabbitt!!

I'm having a nasty morning as well - though I do not crave any alcohol (well it IS only 9:30am haha), but for me, major fatigue and anxiety bring on depression like dense fog.

Think ahead to the day your hubby is home and how by then you will have made it without having any drinks.

I like to compare getting over hurdles of cravings to lifting weights or exercise - it's really hard while you are doing it, but once it's over, you feel great with a few new muscles as bonus ;)

hint hint .... exercise produces very positive endorphins and is a great way to punch out anxiety and frustration... and it doesn't have to be something huge either - whether it's a nice walk around the block or a 25 mile bike ride - both work!!

take care

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Yes, I know, exercise... that dreaded "E" word. *laugh* I'm probably going to walk to pick up the kids this afternoon, and I know I'll feel better for it. And it's my turn to walk them in the morning (neighbor and I take turns), so that's good too.

Thanks.

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I'm sorry, I have to add this small victory: I just went to the grocery store, and *didn't* stop at the liquor store. Why do they always have to be in the same strip center? I'm home now, and that's it for the day, no more errands. At least for today (no promises for tomorrow), I feel like I have overcome the craving... not to say that I won't be white-knuckling it tonight.

Erg, why does this have to be so hard???

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I'm sorry, I have to add this small victory: I just went to the grocery store, and *didn't* stop at the liquor store.

Don't be sorry for adding that, lol! That's fantastic, congrats!!! I know what a major accomplishment that is ;) and you should be really proud of yourself.

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yay - on skipping right past that liquor store rabbit!!

I've had a very rough day. Got up too early for exercise, and crashed around noon of exhaustion - which brings on big ugly depression, obsession about the many pill options on my nightstand. So while i wasn't thinking about vodka, i was thinking about scrip meds. lots of them. 2 hours dozing on and off with multiple intrusive thoughts of self-medication, which would have landed me in an ER

Well I was snapped out of it since I nearly forgot to drop some stuff off at daughter's school AND i had a presentation at my younger daughter's school. Back from both now and feel a lot better.

Score one for victory here as well

anyone else checking in?

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Hang in there rab. My kids have kept me sober too. When I was the only licensed driver in the house I would scare myself to be sober because I would not be able to drive them to the ER or pick them up at school or whatever. Whatever mental tricks that get us through a craving. I went with number one son today to the gym, yay me! Then we got a lot of good, healthy food. I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

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I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

Interesting you should mention that, I'm going through an out-patient program right now for alcohol and chemical dependancy. While I have been sober now for 12 days, I find I'm trading one addiction for another, namely, junk food and anything sugary. I'm really frustrated with this and wish I had your mindset instead. Just shows how addictive a person I really am, but hopefully by going to the out-patient program I can get some better coping skills so I don't just swap addictions.

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I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

Interesting you should mention that, I'm going through an out-patient program right now for alcohol and chemical dependancy. While I have been sober now for 12 days, I find I'm trading one addiction for another, namely, junk food and anything sugary. I'm really frustrated with this and wish I had your mindset instead. Just shows how addictive a person I really am, but hopefully by going to the out-patient program I can get some better coping skills so I don't just swap addictions.

couple 3 years ago, I went on a diet that essentially works to clear your body and dependence on sugar. The powers that be who created this diet (which btw I lost 18lbs on in a very healthy fashion), ran the first 10 days w/o any sugar at all and this included any sort of wine/alcohol. Even natural sugars were banned like from fruit or juice as well as manufactured diet sugars. Being a diet where the plan was to maximize proteins from foods that are filling, even milk was banned (gasp - i love milk). The first 10 days were filled with creative meal planning and great cooking but the only drinks were water, tea-unsweetened and coffee (hold the sugar/cream). Their studies had proven that it takes 10 days for your body to rid itself of the desire for manufactured sugar. I lost 7lbs the first 10 days and it did work. Granted, day 7, I was ready to kill someone haha but I got thru it. After the 10 days, naturally found sugars were added back in as well as wine later on. So just the last part you'd want to skip ;)

As long as you are going thru this initial stage, could this be something to consider? If you are interested, PM me and i'll give you that diet website - not sure about posting it only cuz spam stuff.

my tdoc once called me a marionette puppet - one arm goes down, the other goes up.. that would be me trading one bad coping skill for another. Funny how nearly all of my bad coping skills are under so much better control since i quit drinks almost 6 weeks ago. Shopping and excessive exercise remain sigh...

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I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

While I have been sober now for 12 days, I find I'm trading one addiction for another, namely, junk food and anything sugary. I'm really frustrated with this and wish I had your mindset instead. Just shows how addictive a person I really am,

OMG. If you knew me well you would know how hilarious that is. I am addicted to candy and desserts. I actually think that when you are just getting sober it helps to eat candy. I've been clean/sober off and on for many years. This time I'm clean about 18 mos. For the first year at least I think the body is just in shock and anything is better than drugs and/or alcohol (or cigarettes). If that means your eating habits are bad for a bit it's worth it if it helps you to stay sober. Obviously we have options in the snack world too. If I just HAVE to have something I consider bad, I go for the healthiest version of it that's possible.

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a LOT of addicts replace one drug for another. I replaced meth with alcohol, lots of people go off alcohol and abuse prescription meds (generally benzos or opiates) because it's easier to hide than alcohol.

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I had a drink that I disliked at a young age. Or rather "a sip." I also had "a sip" when someone drunk kept bothering me to drink something. This was in my mid-teens as well. I actually didn't know it was alcohol until after. Wow, I just remember that. Up until now I felt guilty because I thought I "gave into the peer pressure." My mind was trying to punish me I guess.

So I don't drink. I don't know many people, and it's a good way to meet people. It's a weird topic when people ask me why I don't drink. Anyone got any suggestions? If I insult drinking, I can offend people. I don't mind this, but it seems like it could hurt things. If I lie about a drinking problem, people might judge me. If I tell them about my medications, people might judge me. If I say I dislike the taste, people will suggest different drinks. If it makes me sick, people will suggest lower concentrations, I suspect. Some people really want someone to drink with (see drunk guy who bothered me as a kid).

What do you guys say when people ask you why you don't drink? Last time I said I always procrastinate with things I enjoy, and if I get one more thing I enjoy, I'll have another hour I didn't do my homework. Anyone else have an ideas? That won't won't be good for life.

My grandparents both were alcoholics. They died when I was a few years old so it's doesn't get to me. They are on my Dad's side, which has a history of alcohol problems. All three kids drink more than I think people should, and my uncle had an admitted drinking problem which I believe he resolved (while my Dad does go to AA and drink, I don't talk about it with him. He seems to drink daily, but he doesn't get drunk and only drinks after work or in the evening). Family history doesn't seem like it will avoid being judged, however.

I just fail miserably in social situations so anyway I can avoid being judged is good. And I don't want to drink nor do I think it is particularly good idea given my situation. Props to those who drink and quit though. I've never experienced that, but I have my suspicions on the difficulty of it. I know my depression had times where I felt physically compelled to keep sleeping. If alcohol addiction is like that, or worse, I'd give anyone who overcomes that 5 gold stars out of 5. Man, just thinking about those sleep-issue days makes me uncomfortable. Sorry if I'm a little off topic here. I don't know if I am or not. I should be going to sleep. I'm pretty tired, and I tend to ramble anyway (worse when tired). I really love being tired sometimes, though. Staying as long as possible then sleeping isn't something I've done in months, but I find the end is really good. I get really happy and excited like a 5 year old kid when it's time to go to sleep. Ramble. This forum rules. Dog got fixed. She is good. That stress is gone. Wee.

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Idk, Dooga, I always say it as such a blunt statement, "I don't drink", and either walk away or change the subject, that no one has ever questioned me. Then again, you're young, and I imagine your peers *would* question that a bit further. I'm sorry I don't have any helpful suggestions for you other than just being firm.

Well, guys, I made it. Husband actually came home late last night, rather than tomorrow, and boy was I glad. I was beating myself up Wed night, half thinking I'm weak, half thinking I really, really want a drink, why didn't I get something small? But it's over now, and in fact he's taking a few days off for Christmas, so opportunity has dropped back down to zero. That's fine, I need it that way.

I'm very glad this thread is around.

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I suck.

We finished this term's exams last night and all went out - I caved into peer pressure ;) and had a small glass of wine. I promptly fell asleep face down on the table, was poured into a taxi by my friend, and dragged out at the other end and put to bed.

I guess my doc meant it when he said no drinking with the pills. Huh.

Another day, another start. I think today I'll be sticking to diet coke...

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Congrats, Rabbit37! My husband is leaving this Wednesday and won't be back until Saturday and I already feel the anxiety building. While Christmas has never been a big holiday for me, the fact that he's gone and I have no family even remotely close to where I live has me a bit down (read "trigger point"). I'll probably be posting a lot those days, just a fair warning!

Dooga, I'm with Rabbit37 on this, a simple "no thanks" or "I don't drink" is fine but again, as Rabbit37, said when you're young it's a whole different story. I've also been wondering about this myself. I'm 14 days sober now and a lot of my friends don't know yet. How are they going to react when the find out the "new" me doesn't drink? I know some of them will rib me for it. I'll be interested in reading other replies to Dooga's question and see how others have handled this situation.

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high five rabbitt!!! woot :)

my next hurdle is my sister's Christmas Party - one in which the alcohol flows like water from every direction - I have not told my family that I'm done drinking, so Dooga, your post is very well timed. You'd think by age 41, I could come up with a good no nonsense reply to, "What can I get you to drink?" Even if I say, "oh well I'm the driver, so no drinks for me", I think I'll get a, "not even one?" End the party will surely bring out the champaign - "surely one glass one hurt..." HAH.. yeah right ;)

I don't really want to launch into my drinking problem at her party.

Think I'll go with the "I'm on meds that make it so I cannot drink at all" . This is a true statement of course. Don't know if that line will work for you Dooga.

My neighbors do not drink at all - hubby is a recovering addict and hasn't a drink in like 20 years, his wife just doesn't drink to support him. They still get "you're weird cuz you don't drink" looks - but they just let it roll right over them.

You could be point blank - "my family comes from a loooong line of drunks, and I'M not going there"

Funny thing, I've never taken up smoking and if anyone were to offer a smoke, I'd be like ewwww grosss!!!! - same concept could apply here

best of luck

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I guess my doc meant it when he said no drinking with the pills. Huh.

lol, at least you figured it out! For me, it took a four day stint at the psych hospital before I realized what it was doing to me. I ain't too smart sometimes devlish.gif

But seriously, don't beat yourself up over it. You had the courage to come on here and admit it, that wasn't easy.

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Yeah, "I don't drink" is what I use. If the press on, "never aquired a taste for it and it's killed a lot of people I know." That usually is a topic stopper. Another thing you can do is order something that looks like a drink. Rum and coke, hold the rum.

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Congrats to all staying sober. I know its tough around the holidays. This is my first holiday staying sober as far as I can recall. (I don't even remember what time of year it was when I quit for 48 weeks for hep-c treatment)

Today is my 74th day sober. Yippee!

If anyone wants an easy calculator to calc the days, http://www.timeandda...e/duration.html

Anyway, all of my friends know I quit drinking. I've been offered a beer twice, which I declined and have not been offered since. A stranger asked if I wanted a drink last week and I replied "No thanks, it'll kill me". His eyes got wide and he said "Huh??" And I said "I'm allergic". No more questions. I think I will continue using that one.

I can't really say I haven't had the craving, but they were more like brief thoughts about how well a beer or glass of wine would fit into the current scenario and would not do any harm. That AV (addictive voice) in my head usually lasts a few seconds. I'm having the same for cigarettes, but that AV is a little more annoying. I have stopped taking any form of nicotine replacement, but I'm still on the wellbutrin, trazodone and seroquel, and I definitely think those meds work well in keeping both the alcohol and cigarette cravings at a low level.

Congratulations Rabbit37, to para-phrase, keep passing the open liquor stores!! S9, that is definitely a good response and how true it is! And Bex and Crazy, I have not had any drinks on my current meds, but did drink a good bit when I was on only wellbutrin within the last few years. I can only imagine how drinking on traz or seroquel would knock you on your ass and very easily get you locked away. Something I would definitely not want to mix in public. Inspaces, my strategy for the Christmas and New Year parties is to ride with my only female friend who doesn't drink and promise to stay only 30 to 45 minutes, drink cranberry and club soda with a swizzle stick, always keeping a full one in my hand so no one can put another beverage in it. I know that as time progresses, it will be easier to deal with parties. But I'm also going to try to stay clear of gatherings whose only purpose is to drink i.e. keg parties. Why in the hell would I want to put myself into that temptation??

OK, time to go out and play in the snow. It's really coming down here in the NC mountains! Expecting over a foot. BIG, Heavy flakes. :-)

Take care all and best wishes.

~wp

edited cause I forgot spell check :-)

Edited by whirledps

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and I replied "No thanks, it'll kill me". His eyes got wide and he said "Huh??" And I said "I'm allergic".

back in my AA days I would hear that often. "I'm allergic to booze, I break out in handcuffs." ;)

My ex-husband had a good friend who didn't stop drinking when he was dx'ed with hep c. Sorry, tragic story really. Of course he died. Left behind a young wife and a blind daughter for her to care for basically alone. Addiction is so selfish.

eta: congrats of 74 days! The holidays are really rough. It gets better though after a few years of doing it sober. My longest period of sobriety was started right before t-giving. I was so fed up with being so fucked up that I didnt even do the whole, "I'll quit after the holidays," thing. I just wanted to live at that point.

Edited by S9

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S9.... Your comment, . "I'm allergic to booze, I break out in handcuffs." gave me my first laugh of this whole day and depression and anxiety over my future has had a death grip on me all day.. so thanks for sharing!!!

Whirl... congrats on 74 days!!! I'm at 41 days - LOVE that date calculator - it's going to be my newest addiction - figuring days of stuff hahaha

I told hubby today that I quit drinking and how it'd been almost 6 weeks and he immediately said that he had noticed. talking with a friend yesterday and i told him how it's actually easier to say, I'm done drinking, than to say, I can't drink anymore

THis will also be my first sober holiday season since forever... in unchartered territory, glad I'm not alone in the quest

PS I love love cranberry drinks (generally with vodka), so i'm going to try cranberry and club soda - sounds really good

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