Hi everyone. It's been a couple weeks. I promised to update after my genesight test results came back. I was OCD about getting the results because I was so deeply depressed, and desperate. I titrated off lamictal which was making me suicidally depressed while waiting on the results.
The mood stabilizer green winner for me...or in my case AAP...GEODON.
My pdoc immediately stopped seroquel, and put me on 20 mg geodon in the morning and 40 mg at night. It doesn't make me sleepy. At all. That's the only issue I have so far. It's in the green column, and so far I've had zero side effects. My mood lifted almost overnight. I had a sweet spot of about 4 days where I felt completely normal. It was amazing.
My problem, at least I think it's a problem. He also prescribed 20 mg of Prozac to help with depression and OCD thoughts. I historically cannot take antidepressants. They always make me hypomanic. Always. I've been on prozac before, but that was much earlier in my illness. Before I started rapid cycling and having paranoid features. After about a week, I started noticing hypomanic behavior. Most notably, spending way too much money. Not concentrating as much. Taking on big ideas for fix it projects I can't do alone in my condition right now. That kind of stuff. I'm also taking deplin 15 daily, but I seem to manage that with niacin, but I'm wondering is it the Prozac, the deplin, neither or both causing the hypomania?
I've consistently stayed on .5 mg klonopin and 50 mg topamax. I want to up the topamax to 100 and start reducing klonopin.
One thing notable, I weaned off 300mg gabapentin. I was paranoid it was causing the suicidal depression, not accepting it was the lamictal which has done that in the past. So, my pdoc said ok. Since I weaned off fully about 3 days ago, I've had more anxiety each day. Don't blame geodon on that. I have terrible panic and anxiety problems. So, today, I realized there is no way I can wean off klonopin if I'm already feeling like this or I will start dissociating again, and that is horrific. So, I took gabapentin today. I was supposed to see my pdoc today, which is the longest I've waited to see him. 2 weeks. But...he broke his arms and nose somehow, so my appointment is postponed to next Monday.
Meanwhile, sleep is awful. I'm maybe sleeping 5 or 6 hours a night taking Tylenol pm. I have a very limited amount of time doing this before I go full on hypomanic or get very unstable and rapid cycle again. Although, none of this is as bad as it was before, I cannot take anything with Benadryl long term. It has an opposite effect on me. I either need my pdoc to up geodon and add a sleeping med or help me figure something out.
I'm not keen on trazadone or vistaril, because doxepin made me rapid cycle severely because it's an AD, and vistaril did the same thing.
But, I can say, I think I am one of the oddballs that Geodon loves. Thank goodness. I need at least my main med to work. I am scared if we up it I could get akathesia, but since it was in the green column on my genesight, I think that's unlikely.
Any insight or advice for me going into my appointment next week? I loved those 4 days of feeling normal. I know I am so close.
I am going to start IOP 3 days a week after I see him next Monday. I think it's time for counseling to deal with how to cope with this disease on a day to day basis, not just during a huge episode like I've been in.
I may go to my internist tomorrow and ask for ambien for a week to get me through to my appointment though. I don't know if I can do 5 more nights of Benadryl and not go into orbit.
Edit: I've also been doing B12 injections weekly which maybe contributing to hypomania. I'm going to skip next week's dose and take more niacin this week to flush some out.
Hi everyone So here's a little background: I have been taking Klonopin daily for 4+ years now. The dosage at first was 1mg a day, increased to 2mg a day, then 3mg a day, back down to 2mg. I was on 2mg a day for the majority of the time using Klonopin. At the beginning of 2018, I discussed with my psych that I want to VERY slowly taper off Klonopin completely, since I feel my anxiety and panic are not as bad as they were, especially with being on Prozac. He agreed, so we tapered very slowly. I would make 25% to 33% reductions every visit. So far I have made it down to 0.75mg a day. That's huge for me! My anxiety is still close to nonexistent, but I do worry about one thing. When I do eventually get off Klonopin completely, will my anxiety and panic come back even though I have been having mild symptoms from tapering that do, eventually go away? Looking for answers from people who have gotten off benzo daily use and successfully remained (mostly) anxiety-free. Thank you very much.
I wish I had never been placed on it adjunctively for depression/anxiety. I was first embarrassed because it is classified as an antipsychotic. I was on the lowest dose for a few months. I gain about 15 pounds. I haven't been able to return to my pre-abilify weight. So frustrating.
As the title states, I am new here. I am 28 years old, and My girlfriend who I have recently moved in with recommended I give this board a go, as I am notoriously closed off when it comes to my feelings, etc when it comes to this sort of thing.
For most of my life, I was not a worrier. I remember my anxiety really started to surface my 2nd or 3rd year in college. To be totally honest, I spent many many years just drowning it out with whatever I could get my hands on. Mostly Marijuana, as I was never a big drinker ( havent had a drink in 8-9 years to this point). When I was younger, I have a bad car accident that fractured 4 of my vertebrae and was on painkillers for nearly 6 years before I couldn't take living prescription tp prescription and took myself out of pain management and looked for some different natural alternatives (currently Kratom manages my pain well enough).
For some reason, as of late, as ion the last year or so, my anxiety has gotten worse to the point where it is getting nearly uncontrollable, which it has not been to this point. I should mention that I was raised in a VERY, VERY conservative, old, southern household where "talking" about how you felt or feeling depressed/anxious was viewed as "nonsense", or a "weakness" so it was always extremely difficult, if not impossible to talk about that sort of thing if I was able to talk about it at all. In most cases, I simply just had to bury it and move on with my life and "just deal with it" as I was told by my parents, etc. I think it just gotten to the point where SO much anxiety had been allowed to fester and its just boiling over, no more room to bury more, as it were.
I have never had what I would describe as a "panic attack" in my first almost 25 years of my life. I had anxiety, sure but nothing really major in my estimation. Over the last few years, starting about 2 years back, I have started having what I THINK are panic attacks. I should go to the Dr. but as I mentioned, my upbringing has made it very difficult to convince myself that was something that I needed. Thankfully, my GF has convinced me to make an appointment to talk to a professional, but I have to wait almost 2 months to get in to see the person so was just looking for some tips in the meanwhile.
Most recently , I have been having awful bouts of thinking my slightest aches and pains are the worst case scenario. I have a sore throat or feel like I have a lump in my throat? My god, I have throat cancer/lymphoma. I was worrying so much every day that I developed some pretty rough chest pains, which OF COURSE I very intelligently self-diagnosed as a heart attack one night and had a FULL BLOWN panic attack, couldn't sit still, nausea, hard of breathing, hot and cold flashes, the works. And today in particular, I have just felt completely unmotivated and just in the dumps when I shouldn't be. I'm moving in with my GF full time next week, starting a new career, just graduated school, this SHOULD be an awesome time for me, but its the polar opposite and its just miserable. Things I would normally love to do don't interest me in the slightest (I just got a Nintendo Switch and its AWESOME when im in a good space) no matter how much i try on SOME days.
If anyone out there has had any similar symptoms, similar anxiety issues, is there anything that works for you at home that helps you calm down, keep things in perspective? I'm just looking for some tips to sort of tide me over until i see the Dr. Actually dealing with this is an ENTIRELY new territory for me, as is voicing how i feel whatsoever. Just looking for some advice/tips from folks who may have some more experience dealing with this sort of thing as compared to me.
Sorry for the really long post/long read and thanks for reading. Hope everyone has a great day/night and thanks.