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Depression so severe that you feel paralyzed?

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Posted (edited)

Since Christmas, I have been fighting a pretty bad depression. I suppose it would be correct to call it 'atypical'; it can lift for a day or two. Now I am frustrated and desperate. My GPA at school is almost a 4.0 and suddenly this wave of depression hits. Today it was so severe that I sat in my car for an hour, paralyzed. I felt like I was drowning. I feel better when something good is happening, or I can distract myself, but when this awful feeling creeps back in I just want to be alone and lay in my bed and do absolutely nothing.

Now I am worried. How can I beat this depression? I haven't felt a depression this severe in two years. I feel emotionally paralyzed, leaden. Weighed down. I am not seeing my pdoc for another few weeks. I know that I should get in sooner but at this point every day is a struggle. How can I ease this until things get better?

Has anyone else felt paralyzed, weighed-down? When I go outside people look strange, distorted. Like all the color has been sucked from the world..

Edited by saoirse

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Posted (edited)

I have had depressed moods where, if I at all allowed myself to do so by not doing things constantly, I would essentially freeze up. In its more extreme forms, which during a period happened far too frequently, if I laid down or even if I sat down in place without making sure I constantly did things, I would find that I simply could not move, with generally but not always the exceptions of my eyes, my toes, and my fingertips. In these sorts of states, even when walking around, I would often find myself falling into some sort of autopilot, where, e.g., I would keep on walking in a given direction or keep my head pointed in a certain direction, but I could not easily change what I was doing or even what way I was going. In less extreme versions of this, I would largely freeze up when lying down or sitting for a length, but I would still be able to move my limbs some even though I would not be able to get up. In its very most extreme forms, on the other hand, I simply could not move anything - even my eyes.

The only thing I really could do about these in my cases is to make sure I kept on constantly doing things of some sort to keep myself from freezing up, and if I froze up, I could generally slowly work myself out of it by wiggling my toes and fingers until I managed to free up my more of my extremities, and s on. This did not work with the very most extreme forms of this, though, where I essentially was stuck able to do absolutely nothing at all, even look at things, until my mood changed some.

The one major exception to all of this, though, is that I found that I could usually be broken out of being frozen if something or someone in my environment compelled me to do something, even though at its most extreme even that would generally be barely enough (e.g. I would have trouble picking up and answering a phone right in front of me within arm's reach then, even though I would generally still manage to do it).

Edited by Closure

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Posted

I don't think it's quite the same thing, but sometimes I feel as if I literally can't get up, like I'm kept there by the weight of the depression.

I guess what keeps me going is that I have to, I don't have a choice. I can't just keep lying there, I need to go to lectures, or meet up with my tutor, or make dinner, or something like that.

Sorry, that's not amazingly helpful, but I haven't found something that helps me through it yet. I hope that you do soon.

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Posted

I have experienced this before, too. As if I were stewing in my own depressive juices. A good size dose of caffeine would help me temporarily, but that was not an effective strategy in the long run because the caffeine really aggravated my emotional agitation.

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Posted

nah i never get that depressed I only get depressed for like alf a day and then i am fine the next day which is strange lol

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Posted

I wanted to add that I learned the medical term for this is 'psychomotor retardation'.

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I wanted to add that I learned the medical term for this is 'psychomotor retardation'.

I think that that is something distinct from what is being spoken of here.

For instance, I am used to plain old psychomotor retardation when I am severely depressed as a matter of course, and even when is occurring I feel like I am in control of my body.

Whereas here it feels like the connection between much of my body and mind has been greatly compromised, such that there is an very high threshold I need to overcome effort-wise to simply initiate any action, even when I have not frozen up. In the more extreme cases, I might be able to mentally try to force my body to do something but it simply does not happen; simply having the will to do it is not sufficient.

This has the indirect consequence that when I am in states where this applies at all, my motion and actions often tend to be quite a bit jerky as once I do overcome that threshold I end up with excess effort being dumped into whatever I am doing.

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Posted

I think this is "leaden paralysis" where the arms and legs become heavy. It's one of the signs of atypical depression.

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This has the indirect consequence that when I am in states where this applies at all, my motion and actions often tend to be quite a bit jerky as once I do overcome that threshold I end up with excess effort being dumped into whatever I am doing.

Interesting. This does sound different than just "too depressed to move" which is what I am familiar with. Well, I'll stop playing psychiatrist, then. :cool:

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Posted

I think this is "leaden paralysis" where the arms and legs become heavy. It's one of the signs of atypical depression.

Yes, I think that is what it was. Awful feeling...

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Just "me tooing" about the leaden paralysis. I never knew that term, and it is perfect. No one ever believed me when I tried to explain it. I haven't been on the depressed end of the spectrum for a long time, but I remember that feeling so well.

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Posted

When my depression gets super severe, I feel the same paralysis. It's scary. Just adding my agreement.

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Posted

I felt this way on high dose Seroquel, it paralyzed me.

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I get paralysis but it's not usually leaden. Either I can't do things and I don't know the cause (like not posting on this board for a few weeks), or I get paralyzed out of anxiety, guilt, fear, self-hatred or fighting the desire to self-harm or commit suicide.

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i call it "stuck" or "frozen". my best friend gets it too. for me it's not physical, more like an ADHD-type thing - i will walk into a room with the intention of cleaning, not know where to start, then stand there for 20 minutes till i give up.

other times i have no ambition to do anything, will even put off eating till i am dizzy since i have no appetite, no interesting food & hate eating alone. i wish i had a solution to it. it is a royal pain in the ass, so much i'd like to get done & i can't even start. most of the time i get on the phone, get online or bury myself in a book.

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I've had it often, people seem strange, mild hallucinations. When I'm 'paralysed' the only way to get out of it is think myself out of it, which is sooooooooooooo hard. But once you can do it just one time, then at least you know it's a possibility. First I look at what's around me, think about what colours there are, what objects there are, then focus on trying to move a finger, hand, arm. Then plan out what I am going to do, like, lift left leg, stand up, walk 5 feet to the counter, get a glass, get a drink of water. This is a different thing to the physical paralasys I get from Wellbutrin, when I am convulsing on the floor sometimes. I can't think that away. Yet.

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Um, Darth Solence, does your pdoc know that Wellbutrin is causing you to convulse (i.e., causing seizures)? Because Wellbutrin is notorious for lowering seizure thresholds. You aren't going to stop seizing with the power of thought, you need to be taken off of it under a pdoc's supervision.

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yeah I told them but it's the only one that's kind of half worked for the depression so far. I take muscle relaxants that kind of helps. beats suicide I guess. I'm not up to switching meds or tapering off at the moment. thanks for caring.

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I've had similar experiences. I'm not sure I've ever had leaden paralysis, but I have definitely gotten 'stuck' many times. I'll want to do something, usually trying to get homework done, and suddenly I feel like my body won't listen to me. I have mild hallucinations too. The world will feel like its zooming out, or I'm getting smaller and smaller, or patterns will wobble or warp a little. Sometimes I even feel like my arms are really heavy and my hands are backwards. It's really weird and unsettling. I've been struggling with a particularly long and difficult episode of depression lately that has caused my GPA to plummet, mostly from being physically unable to focus or study, or really do anything. I know this isn't all that helpful, but it's at least good to know you aren't alone. Personally, I was starting to worry that no one would understand this problem, so thank you guys for being here. I hope you all stay well.

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Posted

Since Christmas, I have been fighting a pretty bad depression. I suppose it would be correct to call it 'atypical'; it can lift for a day or two. Now I am frustrated and desperate. My GPA at school is almost a 4.0 and suddenly this wave of depression hits. Today it was so severe that I sat in my car for an hour, paralyzed. I felt like I was drowning. I feel better when something good is happening, or I can distract myself, but when this awful feeling creeps back in I just want to be alone and lay in my bed and do absolutely nothing.

Now I am worried. How can I beat this depression? I haven't felt a depression this severe in two years. I feel emotionally paralyzed, leaden. Weighed down. I am not seeing my pdoc for another few weeks. I know that I should get in sooner but at this point every day is a struggle. How can I ease this until things get better?

Has anyone else felt paralyzed, weighed-down? When I go outside people look strange, distorted. Like all the color has been sucked from the world..

 

Despite this thread having begun years ago, I'm compelled to chime in.  I'm grotesquely drawn to the parallel feelings expressed by "saoirse."  I'm generally a workaholic, but my latest bout of depression has crippled my productivity and engendered a total loss of hope.  That I'm seeking solace in a forum speaks of my desperation.  I feel like the primitive drawing on cave walls for posterity -- or was it out of loneliness?  I'm hoping tomorrow will offer something motivating.  I'd almost believe this if I hadn't been saying it for over two weeks now.

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In the case of the cave people, it may have been the 'shrooms.

I have had brief bouts of this, it's like moving through sludge. LARGE caffeine doses may help, forcing activity helps, if it lasts long changing pills is in order.

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Posted

Is that leaden paralysis? I used to get that before I went into remission. I don't get depressed the way I did before then.

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I can sooooooo relate to this. Paralysis is the same word I use to describe it. And the worst part is that it just keeps going on and on.

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Leaden paralysis... my everyday life for many years now.

 

Just wish I heard of someone with unipolar D who eventually recovered even partially!

 

Someone wrote above "change pills". But what do you do when there are no new pills, when you've exhausted them all?

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