Any thoughts on using sam-e or a sad light with a bp1 diagnosis? I’m not depressed and stable but really struggling to get out of bed and low energy throughout the day.
A quick google search says Sam-e and using a sad light can trigger mania if you have bp. Is this still a risk if on two mood stableizers and an antipsychotic? My pdoc is against supplements other than omegas, vitamin d and a multi.
Currently on depakote(tapering down to go off of), lithium, and seroquel.
I was diagnosed bipolar about 7 years ago around the same time as my first suicide attempt. Long story short - I rejected the diagnosis and eventually went off all meds because I thought my issues stemmed from the stress of nursing school. School over - no meds needed.
About 3 years later, started seeing a new psychiatrist and taking antidepressants. I actually felt like I had my life back...
Then, at some point recently, my son died. I had an affair. My husband and I had another child. And then affair was discovered by my husband. The intense guilt and depression led me to try to kill myself, and I recently endured my first psychiatric hospitalization.
Wellbutrin and buspar were once my miracle cocktail. I'm still on those, plus lamictal, plus latuda. Latuda is not helping me. It may have cleared my suicidal thinking, but over all... I feel lost, stuck, hopeless, and let down. I've reached out to my psychiatrist for help so many times, and I'm screwed over by the incompetent office staff each time.
Can someone just tell me it gets better? Do I even deserve better after what I've done? I'm paranoid and delusional. My intrusive thoughts seem worse each day. I want to believe it gets better. Ive dropped down to working part time and I'm seriously considering quitting.
It used to be that I only felt competent at being a mother. But now I don't even feel I can do that right.
I'm a mess.
Is there any hope? If a med didn't work for you, did you find a med that did help? I want to feel like myself again... I feel so let down that latuda isn't helping me.
Thanks for listening...
I’m currently on trileptal for hypomania, but it has made me really depressed... so i’m looking for another med to control hypomania.
already tried lamotrigine and neurontin.
thinking next stop will be either depakote or lithium.
I’m really afraid of weight gain and of feeling too flat (zombie-like).
Which will you recommend? Any experiences you can share?
Hi, I don't really know where to start, I guess this will be a little messy post. I started dosing oxycodone every weekend since last month. I'm not proud of it. I started getting cravings and intrusive thoughts after the 4th dose. It seems like this is a mainly psychological issue rather than physical, at least for now. I've been diagnosed bipolar (rapid cycling) and I've never been non-depressed, since I was a kid, but the physical aspect of depression (intense chronic chest pain, chronic mental fog, etc) stopped after I started taking lamotrigine, but I'm still very lost in life. Drugs are a thing in my life since I was 14 y/o, but it only became an habit at 15 when I started smoking a lot of marijuana, drinking at every social ocassion (I have never been really social, so alcohol has never been something I really like), cigarretes, etc. Also dropped acid a few times when I was 17-18. Oxycodone has been the only drug that has actually felt addictive aside from cigarretes. Aside from venting I'm not really sure what I'm trying to make of this post. I've been trying to schedule an appointment with a psychotherapist but they don't answer my calls, but I don't really know how just talking would help stoping the cravings and kicking out addiction. I've always been atractted to drugs, not because of the pleasure some of them give, but the experience.
I know I'm a piece of shit for playing around with this garbage, but the oxy has a really quirky effect on my empathy, it made me feel thankful about my friends and family. It makes me a lot more sensitive towards literature and music, the both being two of the things that I'm most passionate about. A lot more sensitive overall, is very emotional. Being depressed all my life has numbed me a lot, I was always a really sensitive child and really cared about "things" and people. Oxycodone opened that block, but I know I have to kick it out of my life. It is crippling me. But it is at the same time the only thing that has made me really desire to become a better person, to care about others. I really don't know what to do. I try to keep myself busy with my studies, working towards my goals, that just know make some sense, and it really helps killing the cravings. Last week I almost didn't feel cravings because I was hardcore studying, but this weekend my sleep got fucked up and I've been sleeping really badly. Neither olanzapine or quetapine work, and it is at night when the cravings really become strong since I have nothing else to focus on because I need to sleep.
I guess I'm just venting, sorry if it is against the rules or something. I would really like to read about experiences similar to this with a somewhat happy ending. Please tell me what sort of thing helped you. I've never really belived in psychotherapy but this seems like a situation in which just talking to someone would help because I'm alone in this, no one knows I'm into this, neither I want anyone to know. Please, just post whatever, except if it is some kind of moralistic sermon, sorry but I got enough of that in my internal monologue.
Thanks for reading.