28 posts in this topic
By Housewife Betty
Anybody taking Symbyax? My pdoc just put me on it. Does it work for you?
I have tried Depakote, which made my hair fall out, Wellbutrin, which worked but gave me high blood pressure, Geodon, which put me into a mixed state, and Saphris, which worked but cost 75 bucks a month and I couldn't afford it. I have put on 20 pounds since this adventure started.
Earlier tonight I was on computer and I thought I heard music. Everypne was asleep and all but 2 of our kids were gone. I ignored ot and went back to playing.
The music persisted. I could hear the voice but couldnt make our the words. I could almost hear the instrument but I wasnt sure but might have been a guitar. Sounded like 80s rock.
I looked all over the house tryong to find something to explain it and came up empty.
So I went to bed. I woke up about an hour later and once again I heard a mans voice but couldnt hear the words. His tone was like that of a hellfire and brimstone preacher.
Now , as I type this, I am still hearkng music. Now I can just hear a womans voice singing buy I cant understand it!
This is freaking me out. What causes this? What are your experiences?
So. I have to vent somewhere everyone else is tired of hearing me complain
I have a sister in Law who is Bipolar1 , I'm pretty sure she isn't taking her medication but let me start from the top .
three months ago my mother in law an my other sister in law sam got a call from my sister in law,s husband saying that my sister in law was going to kill her self an she was down at an abandoned house owned by my mother in law . With a bunch of guns . So of course they went down there and called the cops freaking out because her Husband and her have been having problems an she has been extremely unstable . They went down and found a strange man and no sister in law . So they asked who he was turns out it was my sister in laws lover of 14years . My mother in law had some words with him kicking him off her property and he left . Turns out my sister in law lets call her R . R and her lover changed the locks on the old house claiming it as their own not asking anyone's permission and were drinking , doing drugs and going though everyone's stuff . Her lover apparently called her up mad and "broke up " with her so she called her mother cussing her out. Fast forwarded to present day. R ended up losing her job because of failing a drug test an her lover just plain didn't take the drug test an he also got fired. The house owned by my mother in law was broken into twice by R and her lovers friends stealing 2,000 dollars worth of stuff an using the money for drugs an to go out to eat getting her hair done and stuff like that . R started to post stuff about. Her old job slandering everyone stating that she has contacted a lawyer because they refused her unplyoment and that she was going to sue the company she worked for . R ended up fighting her own sister , cursing out her 4 year old nephew and anyone who got in her way . And blocked everyone on Facebook while telling everyone we were the ones who blocked her . Basically she has run wild doing hard drugs not taking her meds which she never really took right anyways . Stealing cheating an lying just to satisfy her life style . It's been hard for the whole family at this point it's only her main family members that believe that she has lost it everyone else is in Deinal it's really sad an very stressful . It All feels like a dream. I just want my sister back
Also she has two kids 13 and 14 that she has abandoned an gave all parental rights to her ex husband
So I went to my doctor on the 19th . An the last couple months have been horrible for my memory an my ability to focus . Like I can't remember dates at all if I don't. Write anything important down I will forget it in 5 minutes . And that has been a main cause of a lot of anxiety an frustration . I plan to go to school an I'm scared I will flunk out cause I won't be able to retain the information . I told my doctor my fears and she said one that a nurse can not diagnose anything . And two my memory problems could just be my biploar slowing down my brain which is common . And that ADHD. Medication can mess with bipolar so I would have to get tested by a specialist before anything else happens . I'm honesty confused cause I always been told I had ADHD or that I had problems concentrating
My partner died 3 months ago of a heroin overdose. It was extremely traumatic, as you can imagine. He is not my first partner to pass away in this manner. He and I unfortunately only got to be together for 3 months and it was unlike any relationship I had ever had. I let my guards down and allowed myself to be loved and I truly loved him. Our relationship was amazing until he relapsed. It was recognized to me by many people after he died that our relationship was very unique and that not many people get to have something like that ever. He was my soul mate. I was with a man for 5 years and never felt that kind of connection.
His death has left a void. I acted recklessly, hooked up with people, reached out to people who didn't respect or care about me, and of course never felt connected (obviously unhealthy behavior).
I was also sexually assualted by someone I really trusted just a month after his death and am in the process of court cases.
But I met this guy and it was weird. He's perfect and has been wonderful and understanding in the short time we've been involved, but it hasn't been very long since my partner's death. I've questioned all of my motivations as well as his and feel insecure, but ultimately we have genuine well-intentioned feelings for each other. I worry I need more time alone, but he makes me feel happy in the capacity that another person is able and we have a wonderful thing going.
Now I feel extremely guilty. Every time I realize I'm happy, I just stop and feel overwhelming guilt.
I also have developed incredibly low self esteem since my partner died. It is so hard for me to accept that this man is genuine and cares and desires me and isn't just going to abandon me as soon as open up and I trust him.
I feel conflicted. I want this. I do. And he knows what's going on and has been completely accepting of me. He even is willing to go slow and give me space to grieve. But I feel like I'm abandoning my dead partner even though in reality he abandoned me.
Feedback, love, and support would be great.