130 posts in this topic
Hi guys, it has been awhile....
Well, my OCD germaphobe habits are starting to tick badly again. I think it is the result of my actually going over to another person's place. OMG, right? I've been a couple of times and try to be polite, but I can't wait to leave and clean myself like crazy!!! This was before they got a pet. And this is the kicker...the last time I was over their pet made a mess on the floor, and they picked up the mess BUT DID NOT CLEAN THE FLOOR. For a moment I was literally paralyzed because I had to cross over that area to get to another spot. I pretended to shake it off, but for the rest of the visit I kept thinking about all the germs that could be on that carpet from now and before. It was horrible. I wanted to trash all my clothes. Now I am reluctant to visit again, but I can't really ignore this person.
So this is the problem. I told them at a previous visit (before the whole mess thing) that I was "a bit of a germaphobe." They were a little incredulous, but now I need to seriously tell them that this is a problem for me, but I'm not sure how. I have offered time and again to give them a pet carpet cleaner, but they decline. And I really don't want to go over there again because in my mind everything is contaminated. It wasn't so bad before the pet (well it was bad) but now....
Any ideas? I'd be glad to hear them. Until then I'll be alienating "dirty" clothes, showering, washing my hands, lysol spraying the doorknobs, and glaring at people who sneeze in public.
Today is my 28th day on sertraline. I have titrated up to 100 mg. I know these meds can take up to 6 weeks to work. Luvox worked for me with 5 weeks on 150 mg and I think I have been on 200mg as well. It pooped out so my second ssri was Lexapro, which kicked in faster at 3 weeks ( at 10 mg). After 6 years this one pooped out as well.
Last May, when the poop out happened, my general doctor was pushing new therapy and didn't switch me to another ssri, which I did not really like. He did increase Lexapro to 15 mg but after 4 weeks things were still the same and started the therapy and mindfulness classes. Meanwhile I slowly weaned off from the Lexapro, since I saw no use staying on it. I tried some alternative things like NAC, combined it with magnesium, vitamines, omega 3 and ginko biloba...but nothing really worked.
So after 4,5 months of being 100% medication free I asked my general doc for a consultation with a pdoc. The pdoc advised sertraline 100 mg or maybe a little more. A last ssri trial. I am extremely concerned that it won't kickin this week. I just can't imagine it doing anything. I know it is a bit too early to write it off and go on something else but I'd like to hear some opinions.
The pdoc who does the consultations suggested (during the first and only appointment) a switch to clomipramine/Anafranil or augment with Seroquel (PRN dose, though I still don't know how this will help with stuck, unwanted repetitive thoughts) but only if Zoloft doesn't work for me. My general doc will follow this advice but I from everything I gathered there are so much more options...for example Prozac or adding Abilify or even nortriptyline. That pdoc said that more appointments with him arent possible. Which means I have to find another one...which can take weeks :-(
One last thing: the side effects I am having are almost unnoticable. Some RLS in the early morning, slight stomach irritation (1 of 2 times a week) and vivid dreaming. I had more anxiety the first two weeks and that's it...
I think I could go higher in dose without much trouble. But could a higher dose do the trick or do I supposed to feel something already?
Sigh...I just want to get out of this situation...
Hi! I'm new to the board and I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post this. I was diagnosed with bipolar at age 20 but mostly I had depressive episodes. Some years later my episodes changed to light mood swings with hallucinations, delusions and "strange behavior" like wearing wigs and sunglasses to distract the people I thought was chasing me. In the current "episode" I have no mood alterations I just started to feel sure I was going to die soon. Like a hunch. Shortly after that I started seeing angels that visit me because I'm gonna die soon. I also hear a voice that tells me I'm about to die. I'm not depressed or manic I just feel my mind jumbled and confused. I was admitted in a psychiatric hospital but I checked out before they could diagnose (mostly because I needed my cigarrettes. I'm a chain smoker). I don't know if that's possible in America but here you can chek out of psychiatric hospitals pretty much whenever you want. Anyway, is this psychosis? Bipolar? Does my situation has a name?
Greetings everyone, I had honestly forgotten about my mood disorder. I have gone for years without any major episodes.
Over the summer I had renewed my eyeglasses/contact prescription from a clinic affiliated with my childhood. In my file they had mailed me, it stated a diagnose of bipolar. Yeah right, had taken medication in my younger years for both depression and adhd. I experienced extreme reactions to both. Whatever. Long time ago anyways. I'm just a dude with lots of empathy, my motto is care more. Never looked back.
Then... yah know, 'till now.
Had a long hypomanic period (almost a year) that enveloped two short states (about a week or two a piece) of depression. It ended in a four to five week period of mania. Not the feel good everything is sweet, but dysphoricky, psychotic kind, terminologies, mixed, mind trickery bleh. Sucky.
I feel pretty fucking depressed right about now. Postdroming would be the hip lingo methinks. Or post-whatever-whatever.
When I was manic I related my experience to times in my past I had felt similar. This most recent bout, the most extreme by far, is not the first time I have experienced hallucinations or delusions during those "difficult" times.
Anyways, it seems that for the most part, I float from one period of hypomania to the next with intermittent periods of mild depression. Up and down, up and down for two, three, four years then... boom! Shit just gets unreal, blend of all symptoms. Depression for a few months, rinse and repeat.
To pose my question, is there a possibility that one could spend so much time on the manic side of life? It is kinda opposite of the descriptions for bipolar 2 I have read, I dunno maybe. My depression only feels like contrast to my elation. Hard to describe. As difficult as it is right now, it is not nearly as terrifying as my mania.
Also, is it realistic to pursue a life without medical attention until one should really be institutionalized during full mania?
Would I be lying to myself by embracing my hypomania? Maybe I am just not experiencing any symptoms during those times and I'm just a philosophical, passionate, eccentric. It all just reads like hypomania...fuck. I don't know, I am trying to understand. Crazy talk... Though I have read that episodes can last for a long time. Maybe I have just learned to cope with depression but not mania. I don't know. I am not suicidal but have had suicidal ideations during my episodes.
A close friend of mine since childhood had a psychotic episode or break last year and is being effectively treated for psychosis. I know that medication serves a very real purpose. I mean, my mother has struggled with controlling her bipolar type 2 with various medications her entire life, but it helps her control it. I have always had poor experiences with any sort of medicines aside from antibiotics. Hah! Had some pretty weird hallucinations after getting a tetanus shot with some added violent mood swings, paranoia and blacking out forgetting where you are kinda shit. Lasted three days. Hard to paint a house with that goin on. Avoid ladders...
Maybe I'm just afraid... A lot has been going through my head. Not as bad as it was for a minute though.
That being said, care more my friends and thank you for any input. May we build eachother up! We may not heal, we may not get stronger, but damn it, we will get better at fighting!