12 posts in this topic
By Anodyne Oblivion
I took Xanax and it made me sleepy without decreasing my anxiety. So we tried Ativan. After 4 days I was ready to kill myself in a VERY out of character manner. Luckily I recognized that it was due to the Ativan and sent the bottle to the box with all the other poisons I've tried that failed. Next, I tried taking a longer-acting one (Klonopin) and even that one has me fucked up the next day, albeit less-so. It's *almost* a solution in dire situations. Almost. But not.
If I wasn't so fucking anxious I'd be less depressed. Or so I thought. Turns out the only energy I have is nervous energy, and when you take away my nervous energy I become a lump of human waste. Suicide starts to seem rational, not like a kneejerk reaction bourne of panic.
I NEED anxiolytics to keep my job. I don't need them often, but they are very, very, very necessary when I do. Is there anything else anyone has had success with? Atarax does nothing but make me dangerously sleepy (it doesn't even help my allergies, which is its on-label use!...wtf) and Buspar gives me very bad headaches.
Of course, marijuana helps, but we don't have licensing in my state yet and I don't count this as a solution because it's always a crapshoot when you get some. You don't know the potency, the ratios, the strain, etc. It is not a viable anxiety treatment at this point and I certainly cannot be taking that at work! Not until we get some dispensaries with very low THC strains. I mean, that's assuming we haven't started WWIII by then though....
Ok so I've been creeping around here for weeks now and finally decided I had to post something.
I keep reading horror stories about klonopin quiting on me and all this awful stuff and that klonopin shouldn't be used everyday.
However my doctor prescribed me 2mg to take Dailey which I've been doing but im worried about devolping tolerance and upping the dose. I hear that the anti anxiety effects take a long time to devolp tolerance to if it ever does happen.
Is there any long term users who have been on klonopin daily? I really don't feel it effecting my anxiety but I've decided to work all the time to keep my mind off of it but I still can't get this fear of klonopin out of my head.
I'm not abusing it I'm taking it as directed and the doc said I might be on it forever. I'm not too worried about staying on it if it's safe and I don't have a problem with coming off it slowly to avoid withdrawals when I'm stable.
Sorry for rambling my question is basically why are there so many horror stories and has anybody taken it daily long term and been fine?
And does the internet just hate benzos?
I also just increased my citalopram to 40mg last week
By OCD Mama
I've done a little lurking and thought I would finally post something in hopes of being able to relate to others, get advice and perhaps even help others.
Let me introduce myself. I'm Sara, I am a 29 year old mother to one beautiful, 5 year old little girl. She's my only. And my everything. Not long after giving birth to my daughter, I developed postpartum depression and OCD. The OCD took the form of intrusive thoughts. Thoughts of harming my baby. Of course, this sent me on the worst anxiety roller coaster I had ever experienced. I didn't understand what was happening to me or why. I knew I didn't want the thoughts or to harm my tiny baby but I couldn't turn off the thoughts. I started googling and that was both a blessing and curse. I found stories of other women suffering from Postpartum OCD and quickly realized that I had just that. But I also came across awful stories of psychosis that only sent my anxiety to the highest peak imaginable. I eventually convinced myself that I would become psychotic and harm my child. I never had the desire to act on my thoughts (thankfully) but would have to assure myself that if I ever felt that I was going to act on the thoughts, I would take my own life before I harmed my child in any way. Now I was paralyzed with fear and unable to function so I sought out help. After a few trials of multiple drugs and psych's, I ended up on Luvox which literally saved my life. I stayed on for 3 years and functioned really well. Took a break for a year and then last year, had a particularly rough and stressful time in my life and I wasn't coping so well so I decided to go back on. About 6 months being back on Luvox, I became less motivated, anxiety started creeping back in and then the intrusive thoughts resurfaced briefly. The thoughts arent there so much now and I think they only lasted briefly because I recalled how to manage them from prior CBT therapy. However, the anxiety, the feeling of "Something is really wrong with me" wouldn't leave. So back to the psych I went. She ordered genetic testing which revealed I have the COMT met/met gene mutation- meaning I have excess dopamine in my brain. Luvox is not effective or has adverse reactions to those with this type of mutation and advised that I taper off because it was now ineffective. Which I don't understand completely because it worked well for so long before and now- nothing. So the tapering is going...I wouldn't say well... but it's going. Im down to 25mg. And let me tell you, this is HARD to get off of.
Looking back at my life, I realize that there were always OCD tendencies ad anxiety issues thanks to traumatic events in my childhood. But I guess full on OCD came on when I gave birth to my child.
Currently, I just feel something is "off", I have anxiety like crazy, I obsess with whether or not I am or will become schizophrenic because yup, my OCD has turned me into a compulsive "googler," As soon as I see an article about the gene mutation I have being related to schizophrenia or psychosis, I basically panic. (thought the literature says it isn't always) I get incredibly anxious and dizzy in public, I experience DP/DR, I have hypnagogic hallucinations which can be attributed to the meds, the anxiety or even narcolepsy. I'm not sure what it is that is "off" or if this is all attributed to tapering off of luvox. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading my story.
Anyone here try haloperidol to control OCD symptoms? If so how did things work out? I know everyone is different, I would just like to get a general picture. Truth be told, I'm pretty nervous because someone once told me about what a horrible drug it was and how it makes you kind of psychotic. Eek. However, my Pdoc is putting me on a very low dose (1-2mg daily.)
Any comments would be of big help.