I have been self harming since I was 11.
I'm 21 with a job in healthcare and I still can't stop myself from cutting. Its become a custome. That's my go to when I'm stressed, upset, lonely, sometimes even if I'm bored. I just like to have cuts or burns or scratches on me at all times. Its like a secret that I don't have to share its amusing to me in a way. I feel almost naked if I don't have at least a few cuts on me at any given time. I've tried to stop and for a while I did, but I just keep turning back.
I want to move forward with my life but its like I'm stuck In a hole that I can't climb out of. I see everyone around me moving on with their lives and I'm stuck here hurting myself with no control over anything. My anxiety is to bad to seek help. I just feel like I would be better off dead because dying just seems so easier, more realistic and more inviting than trying to live a normal life.
I hadn’t been cutting for long before I was found out. My parents sent me to therapy hoping for a full recovery. I haven’t cut since the end of May -a little over for months ago- but I still fantasize about it everyday. I feel that since I’m not an active cutter I’m seen as being better but I’m not better. The urge is still there and life is harder now that I’m not doing essentially the only thing that remedied the pain. I wish I coined express this frustration to someone but I hate to disappoint. I burdened my parents and enough already and don’t want to hurt them anymore. How can I make the urge go away or get my parents to see that I haven’t fully recovered without hurting them? If you have any advice please lmk. Thanks.
11yo male here. So i was pretty miserable last night because of loneliness and i decided to self-harm. I cut many times on the top of both my arms, just above the sleeves of my short-sleeved shirt, a bit deeper than i usually do. So anyways, today I was talking to my teacher about problems unrelated to self harm because she acts as sort of a 2nd mother to me that i can actually talk to (my real one is a narcissist ). She had noticed my cuts earlier, a few weeks ago and she told me to stop, . She noticed that I had new cuts because they were poking out from my shirt sleeves and she made me promise to throw my blade out. I don't want to stop cutting, mostly because i like my scars ( i'm not doing it for attention, i just like it when people besides my parents ask about my cuts because it shows them that no matter how happy I seem a lot of the time, when I'm alone I'm often sad, lonely or numb. It shows that that i've gone through things painful enough that i would hurt myself to forget). What should I do???
My best friend/roommate found out I cut myself about a year-and-a-half ago and tried to get me to stop (long story, I basically got black-out drunk and she found the cuts while helping me into bed). I hid it from her for maybe a year afterwards. Well, a couple days ago, she walked in on me organizing my first-aid supplies and tools and put two and two together. She confronted me and asked me to stop. I told her I've been trying and I'm still trying. She told me to text or call her the next time I want to. My dilemma is we both have anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, so I don't want to make her worse with my problems. I'm so mad at myself for getting caught again. She threatened to throw my stuff away, but finally said she wouldn't if I promised to try to stop. It's so hard when that voice gets louder and tells you you're a failure and your best friend is going to leave you because of your issues. So, long story short, do y'all have any tips to help the urges at least calm? Thank you in advance, everyone
Hey everyone... I haven't posted on a message board in a very long time.... but I just don't have anyone I can talk to about this.
I am new to cutting. I didn't realize that what I was doing was actually for real cutting. I started scratching my arms with sharp things whenever I am feeling really really depressed. Then I started doing it every time I got really sad, and it seems to make me feel better. I can't explain it with words. My girlfriend saw my arms and called me a "teenage girl" ( I'm 30) and basically made me feel over dramatic and seeking attention. I really don't want attention.
I'm currently deep into a depression that has lasted about 3 weeks. I go off and on with this, and have been for as long as I can remember. Yesterday I had gotten into an argument with my girlfriend over the phone, basically about how I just mope around all of the time and are never happy. I went in the bathroom at work and self harmed my leg. I immediately felt better. Not really better, but like I had validation of my internal pain. Like now I can see what I'm feeling inside. Like a real wound makes it visible to me.
But now I'm terrified that someone will see these... and I'm terrified as to what this means? Has my depression reached a new level? Am I actually just super dramatic and should just be normal? Ugh. I'm not sure what I should do, or how to avoid going down this road.