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goldskittle

Any other adult cutters out there?

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I started in high school, stopped when I went to college. Like many here, my home life growing up was traumatic in a variety of ways. Escaping that environment made a huge difference in my mental health and meant I could seek help with a counselor and medication (I had not been permitted to before, as I was told there was nothing wrong with me).

 

Now in my late-twenties, I relapsed a year ago as I fell into my deepest ever depression. Despite hospitalizations, therapy and moving med management to a pdoc, I continue to cut. I'm doing better, but the progress is slow and often feels like I move backward as much as I move forward. 

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I started when I was 19 and have been off and on the wagon. I just turned 27 and I'm 2 years clean and I've been trying not to relapse for a few weeks now. I burn and cut.

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I started when I was around 15 and while I have managed to go through periods where I don't cut, when I get emotionally overloaded it seems to resurface. I'm 38. It's not an easy thing to kick and it tends to be my fallback coping skill (yes, I know it doesn't really solve anything, but...)

Edited by IsabelleStPierre

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Just thought I would say thank you to all the other adults for speaking up. I was feeling even more down after my last episode, typically I would hide and deny. I think this was the first time I actually researched it. At first I was disheartened to see all the teen sites. Like this is only a teen thing, so as an adult I must be immature. I don't think that I'm as bad as I could be, but I'd like it to not escalate. I stopped once I can do it again now that I know I'm not alone.

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I'm sorry that you are struggling so much right now, The 3. It's a painful place to be.

 

What kind of help are you able to enlist for yourself? Do you have a tdoc that can help you get a handle on the urges?

 

I just wanted to point out the list of things people have done for distractions under the "Today I wanted to self harm but instead I..." thread. It's there as a reference to help distract and delay acting on urges.

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I'm sorry that you are struggling so much right now, The 3. It's a painful place to be.

 

What kind of help are you able to enlist for yourself? Do you have a tdoc that can help you get a handle on the urges?

 

I just wanted to point out the list of things people have done for distractions under the "Today I wanted to self harm but instead I..." thread. It's there as a reference to help distract and delay acting on urges.

Edited by The 3 Me's

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What's getting in the way of getting a good tdoc?

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I'm sorry that you are struggling so much right now, The 3. It's a painful place to be.

 

What kind of help are you able to enlist for yourself? Do you have a tdoc that can help you get a handle on the urges?

 

I just wanted to point out the list of things people have done for distractions under the "Today I wanted to self harm but instead I..." thread. It's there as a reference to help distract and delay acting on urges.

Edited by The 3 Me's

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I'm sorry. I'm not sure what you are trying to say.

 

Can you try again?

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I'm sorry you aren't finding words supportive here.

 

However, I will keep feeling encouraging toward you and telling you so, because that's what I do here.

 

Trying hard counts for a lot.

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I'm sorry you aren't finding words supportive here.

 

However, I will keep feeling encouraging toward you and telling you so, because that's what I do here.

 

Trying hard counts for 

Edited by The 3 Me's

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No need to apologize.

 

I'm going to suggest that you start a new thread or a blog to vent. 

 

That way we can bring this topic back to the OP's question about adults who use self harm to cope.

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I have a strong urge to hurt myself right now. I'm already hurt so probably a bad idea. I know i shouldnt. Just really feel compelled. A lot of thinking. Really out of control thoughts.

They dont understand. It IS my fault because I want it to happen again. I want it to happen so it will hurt bad enough to make me feel. Sometimes the pain and terror is the only thing big enough to feel alive. Maybe the only time I want to live is that moment when fighting for my life.

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I'm 51yr old and a cutter, been doing this since 1974 when I was just 12.  Not many people do I know that still actively cut at my age so it's nice to see others long in tooth that do.You are not alone. Recently had to print out the cutters bill of rights to show my local detective so he won't send me in under a legal 2000 any more. Just hope he reads it and learns from it that we have our rights to cut if we so chose and that we are not crazy(maybe alittle). :D

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While it is true that you have the right to self harm, other people have the right to be concerned about you.

Depending on how the laws in your state are written, you can still be detained against your wishes by a law enforcement officer for further evaluation by a mental health professional if you are perceived by that officer to be a danger to yourself or others. States say this in different ways, so there isn't one universal standard.

I also wanted to give a gentle reminder to everyone that CB is pro-treatment. That includes treatment for self harm.

ETA:This is not to try to invalidate self harm as a coping method. Many of us use and have used self harm as a way to stay alive in desperate times.

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Tried to sleep lastnight but once again it eluded me going on 1 week now no sleep. Cutting has increased and now my Detfiend has me worried he will lock me up if he spots fresh marks.  Tried to get a tdoc but he didn't take myinsurance so I'm all alone in my grief.Lost 2 people and 4 pets all in 1 yr too much for thid bi-polar chick tohandle and my meds of #80 mg Geodon and #100 mg wellbutrin aren't helping either. Got some xanax and klonipin but they aren't helping either. Sometimes I wonder why I'm still alive. And who would care if I was gone. :wall:

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Tried to sleep lastnight but once again it eluded me going on 1 week now no sleep. Cutting has increased and now my Detfiend has me worried he will lock me up if he spots fresh marks.  Tried to get a tdoc but he didn't take myinsurance so I'm all alone in my grief.Lost 2 people and 4 pets all in 1 yr too much for thid bi-polar chick tohandle and my meds of #80 mg Geodon and #100 mg wellbutrin aren't helping either. Got some xanax and klonipin but they aren't helping either. Sometimes I wonder why I'm still alive. And who would care if I was gone. :wall:

I'm so very sorry you're hurting...and a week without sleep?  Owch.

Anyway you can see the prescribing doc about that latter?

 

Regarding the topic?

I, sadly, still self-injure, have done fairly recently. 

I had been free of that  for years, then I married my ex...imagine that. :(

Edited by Stickler

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