frankieG

can a manic episode make you think you're gay?

35 posts in this topic

I had a manic episode back in July 2012, which eventually led to me leaving my house temporarily. As I wandered around my neighborhood, I began to think I was gay. I can't explain it. It literally felt like I woke up a different person, but only in terms of my sexuality. So I came out to my friends and family (keep in mind this was all before my bipolar diagnosis), and they've all come to terms with it...except me. I've realized that I'm not attracted to men at all, but women. I'm just afraid that if I "backtrack" my sexuality, I might be perceived as being in denial or even crazier than I already am.

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Sexuality isn't always fixed. Sometimes it moves around. You can date women - worst to worst, people will think that you're bi. You're lucky that you didn't get bashed at all and since the people around you have proven to be accepting of your sexuality anyway, they will most likely continue to be so.

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It's easy to get hung up on labels and trying to fix ourselves into neat and tidy categories. Just be yourself, be with whoever you want, and don't worry about the people you came out to. They'll catch on eventually. Like WinterRosie said, they'll probably just assume you're bi. Then again, if they were accepting and supportive, maybe they would be understanding of the truth.

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*raises hand* My sexuality is fluid. Not due to my BP, it just shifts on me sometimes.

It could have been a symptom of your mania - some people get hypersexual, and feel drawn to or actually do all kinds of sexual things they might not be interested in normally.

But it could just be you. If you want to date girls, go ahead. Some people can be shitty about bisexuals, saying we don't exist, etc. But you shouldn't force yourself to date guys if you're not currently interested in them. It would make you miserable.

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It always shocks me how prejudiced a lot of the gay community is about bi-sexuality. It just seems so natural (and obvious, although that is a bit snotty) to me that if there are straight people, and gay people, there are a lot of people that fall in between.

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I came out as gay at uni when I was batshit. I have dated men since, but I would date women. People might like to put you in a box, that is human nature, but the people who matter know that we all change and grow and won't give you shit about in love with someone who makes you happy, tits or no tits.

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those above me have covered the points I was going to make...but I will raise my hand as another bi person. I'm not saying you are--but it's possible if there's any level of attraction.

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Being crazy, bisexuality and bipolarity are not linked at all.

This.

My batshit is separate from my sexuality.

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Your not alone with this. I'd say my sexuality is more fluid as well. When I'm hypomanic I'm much more bisexual than I normally am. I've had relationship with both women and men, but do prefer actual relationships (re: marriage) with men, but I prefer sex with women.

I don't even try to label myself or anything anymore. We can all be different things at different times. Some people don't have a fixed sexuality, some people do. I just don't let it bother me anymore, hopefully you'll get to that point as well :)

I've learned to be content.

And ya, the gay community doesn't tend to support bisexual or more fluid sexuality which IMO is far more common than being 100% straight or gay! I used to go the the gay pride parade here every year. Everyone would say "oh, a pretty lesbian", I'd tell them I was bi and, well, they just didn't like it. Whatever....

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I'm bisexual, but not because I'm bipolar. I find the two are completely different spectrums! My sexuality is also fluid and not related to being bipolar at all.

I've never heard of that before, thinking you're gay while manic.. maybe there are things you don't know about your sexuality?

No judgement here though.

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I am kind of new to bi polar, but since no one else has said this I kinda wanted to throw it out there. Correct me if this seems stupid or wrong. But when I was manic, I thought a LOT of things about myself that are absolutely untrue (reincarnation of Jesus, anyone?) so, altho being gay is not crazy or anything to be ashamed of, maybe it could be a strange idea that worked its way into your head in a delusional manic state. I just remember really fixating on little things that "proved" something (delusional) about myself, and I think, had I got the idea in my head for whatever reason, I would quite possibly have told everyone I know that I was a lesbian, even tho I am very happily married and, um, bi curious? at the most extreme. I feel like, at least for me, your mind is very suggestible in a manic state and it might have just been a weird thought passing through. I don't know tho, someone tell me if I'm being stupid or ignorant. Just speaking from personal experience.

Edited by appleblossom

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Well, as I put it to someone once, when I get super manic I feel like I wanna sleep with anyone who walks by me. Male or female. The hypersexuality is very, very much on my mind. So much so that I can't stop thinking about it and it's terribly distracting.

But I do consider myself straight. But when I get into that mode, well all that goes out the window for some reason.

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I believe with everything in me that, as a small child (4-5 years of age) I became manic around other girls, whether it was innocent hugs, kisses or what....although I didn't know what it was, the desire to feel "that" again (the mania) led me to chase after girls....did not receive BPII diagnosis until 35 years later which has made me question a lot of things in my past........

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its happened to me whether or not its popular to admit it in this thread. I'm actually neither gay bisexual or heterosexual. asexual most of the time.

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When I'm not HS my libido drops tremendously. Sometimes I just don't get this shit.

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interesting, because i thought (hypo)mania made me gay temporarily, until i admitted to myself that i indeed was gay no matter what phase of bipolar i was in and came out. i doubt that bipolar disorder has an influence on sexual orientation.

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I know this post is old but i kinda had the reverse situation going on. When i was in psychosis i was telling my long term partner i was not gay. I told her i was never gay and that i like the opposite sex now. Idk why i was saying these things. I am still attracted to the same sex so idk what happened to make me say that to her.

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That must have been hard for her. But you were crazy enough to be hospitalized, and you may have said and believed all sorts of things that aren't real. I hope you are doing okay as a couple.

ETA: Wait, you said you were psychotic, not that you were in a hospital, sorry.

Edited by crtclms

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On 12/7/2012 at 1:36 PM, crtclms said:

It always shocks me how prejudiced a lot of the gay community is about bi-sexuality. It just seems so natural (and obvious, although that is a bit snotty) to me that if there are straight people, and gay people, there are a lot of people that fall in between.

The reason for it is because of the "flip floppers" or the "experimenters"... rarely are there true bisexuals out there. I've been burned by so many "straight girls who were curious" that called themselves bisexual so that's the majority of the reason we have a problem with it. 

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I think it's an individual answer. I know after a bad situation with men I thought I was gay, then changed my mind. When hypersexual, I was ready to have sex with anyone. I didn't feel the need to relabel myself though, I didn't even think of it. So being manic and hypersexual can expand your choices in sex partners, but does that mean now you are gay or bisexual?  Not in my case or opinion, but for someone else, there might be a different answer. Sexuality is pretty complex but for me, how I am while manic isn't necessarily  what I consider my "true self", if that makes sense. 

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Posted (edited)

Hmmmm, good question .. maybe a manic episode can make you hook up with the same sex and question if you like it more. I have always been attracted to both sexes but always had sex with men. And I was always Bi-Curious and imagined what it was like with a woman, recently I was with a woman and yep, it was ..yeah.I.liked it. ...A lot . So now that I had been with both , I don't know if I am gay , I don't know which I like more. But hey, don't overthink it. Let it come as it is

Edited by KnickNak

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On 12/7/2012 at 7:39 AM, frankieG said:

I had a manic episode back in July 2012, which eventually led to me leaving my house temporarily. As I wandered around my neighborhood, I began to think I was gay. I can't explain it. It literally felt like I woke up a different person, but only in terms of my sexuality. So I came out to my friends and family (keep in mind this was all before my bipolar diagnosis), and they've all come to terms with it...except me. I've realized that I'm not attracted to men at all, but women. I'm just afraid that if I "backtrack" my sexuality, I might be perceived as being in denial or even crazier than I already am.

You can't trust anything that happens during mania. I'm a 100% gay man, and I still had sex with a lesbian once, and a number of straight females when I was younger and in denial. In a manic, hypersexual state, I could totally see me be with a woman again. Don't read too much into it. IMO, the best way to figure things out is to analyze what you think about while masturbating, but when not symptomatic, if at all possible. One event does not define you. It can be hard to admit same-sex attraction. But if it's there, you shouldn't try to deny it. Maybe you're heterosexual, maybe you're gay, or maybe you're bi (or something else). Trust your instincts, but be wary if you're symptomatic. Some people are 'hetero-romantic,' which means they like gay sex, but prefer an opposite-sex partner for an LTR. Do a little introspection and see where you are. If you're honest with yourself, I think you'll find the answer easily enough.

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