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This thread is very important.

My first psychiatrist believed that a borderline patient was incapable of change, as well. And guess what? I've changed.

This time last year, I was in juvenile detention for running away, becoming involved in human trafficking...and all of that culminated in a suicide attempt. The year before that, I was in residential treatment for 3 months following my fourth hospitalization and second suicide attempt.

I have been hospitalized 15 times. I have attempted to end my life more times than that. I have been stitched up, pumped out, tubed, and arrested.

And now? I'm a high school student. I have a 3.8 GPA. I'm on the forensics team. I go to therapy once a week and take medication every single day and I spend a lot of time crying in the counselor's office, but goddamnit, I have changed and I have grown.

Anyone who denies the fact that you are trying is not worth your time. You are making progress no matter what, and people with personality disorders can recover.

 

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I know I'm a horrible person, if my husband knew everything I did he could write something like that. ..

So maybe we just have to understand that we hurt people and they also have reasons to became upset...

They, as we, have to express ourselves...

Let them talk...

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Not specifically advice as such but elsewhere I saw someone talk about how everyone with BPD is "seriously scary."

Just gotta love the way they try to make us look bad and themselves look good but who's doing all the badmouthing?

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I agree. I think other people with BPD can change. I'm just sometimes not so sure it's possible for me to change. I"ve gone through the cycle and nothing has changed. I still fuck up all my relations and use all of my time thinking about death and suicide. So maybe to some degree he's right. SOme of us won't change. But it shouldn't be addressing th population as a whole.

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"correct me if I'm wrong" but in borderline don't you kind of fluctuate between LOVING yourself to HATING yourself ? most commonly and also in the opinions of others

"correct me if I'm wrong" but in borderline don't you kind of fluctuate between LOVING yourself to HATING yourself ? most commonly and also in the opinions of others

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On December 22, 2012 at 6:00 AM, lifequake said:

Amen.  I agree with what you wrote and commend you on your own recovery.  I have traits of BPD, and recovery is like walking uphill, in a sandstorm, while carrying the moon on one's back.  Basically, it is arduous and difficult.  Shame on those who demonize the borderline client who suffers.  I chalk it up to ignorance and lack of understanding.

I too had traits of BPD, and it looks 6 years of therapy with the same therapist plus 4 rounds of DBT to recover from my PD NOS, and I still deal with it today. I appreciate this post. 

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I hear ya. 

There was recently an article on the front page of Medium where a woman encouraged her readers to not stay with a person who has potential, because having potential is just code for they are a loser. In the article she referenced exes with addiction issues and one who was "hopelessly bi-polar".

By the end of the article I felt like I was undeserving of love and would never ever find it.

We are not the monsters they make us out to be.

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20 hours ago, tdk said:

I hear ya. 

There was recently an article on the front page of Medium where a woman encouraged her readers to not stay with a person who has potential, because having potential is just code for they are a loser. In the article she referenced exes with addiction issues and one who was "hopelessly bi-polar".

By the end of the article I felt like I was undeserving of love and would never ever find it.

We are not the monsters they make us out to be.

This writer sounds absolutely lovely. =_= The kinda privileged outlook that says that anyone who didn't 'succeed' by society's standards or has obvious wounds from whatever kickings they've gotten from this fucked up world we live in is a 'loser' and not worth your time.. Yeah. People with that kinda mindset are best avoided, and their opinions avoided or mocked, depending on your preference. But I understand how reading stuff like that can chew you up inside. My sympathies.

Tri

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On 8/24/2016 at 0:04 AM, tdk said:

I hear ya. 

There was recently an article on the front page of Medium where a woman encouraged her readers to not stay with a person who has potential, because having potential is just code for they are a loser. In the article she referenced exes with addiction issues and one who was "hopelessly bi-polar".

By the end of the article I felt like I was undeserving of love and would never ever find it.

We are not the monsters they make us out to be.

That's awful! Mental illnesses, personality disorders, etc. don't mean someone is a bad partner. And it definitely doesn't mean they're a bad person. 

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On Saturday, 3 September 2016 at 11:59 PM, huntforbravery said:

That's awful! Mental illnesses, personality disorders, etc. don't mean someone is a bad partner. And it definitely doesn't mean they're a bad person.

EDITED

Edited by sprocket
reminder about site rules

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20 hours ago, sprocket said:

No it doesn't...but it does raise a flag that entering into a relationship with said individual is going to be very challenging at times. Having lived with a 'high functioning' partner with BPD, I've experienced first hand how hard it could be for her dealing with her illness and how completely messed up our relationship became, in part, because she was too arrogant to seek ongoing treatment and because I didn't have the patience required to continue to provide her with  support.

Yeah untreated personality disorders can cause issues. But not everyone with a personality disorder acts the same way. Not to mention that everyone has something about them that can cause relationship issues. I just mean that having a personality disorder doesn't mean someone is unloveable or anything like that 

Edited by huntforbravery
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sprocket, please be aware that this sub-forum is intended for people with PDs to discuss their own experiences of having a PD.  We ask that people not post about their experiences dealing with their partners with PDs here.

If you'd like support around how that relationship impacted your MI, please post in the relationships forum.

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I certainly can understand where you're coming from. I mentioned before that a psychiatrist misdiagnosed me with it when I turned 18 for a year and then the diagnosis was proven wrong.

Spending a year with a misdiagnosis of BPD was horrible. Every one was saying how 'dependant' I was, you name it. The care I received was terrible. If I had trouble sleeping, I would get no meds for it and since I got the Bipolar diagnosis back from borderline every care professional listens to me now because I'm 'normal' and I had sleeping problems two weeks ago and I was given pills instantly.

Last year before I got admitted for a depressed episode I spent months in crisis, not washing, not leaving my room and no one cared to help me because I was 'borderline' and I didn't care much either which made things worse but when finally they realized I didn't fit any of the BPD criteria and I fitted all the BP criteria, everyone was so helpful and eager to help me.

I can understand your frustration very well. If you have a BPD diagnosis according to the mental health system you don't 'deserve' any help because it's departmental to your BPD because you're overly 'dependant'. Psychiatry is so double sided sometimes

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:wtf:

I find that the above mentioned blog and others like it are usually ran by men who've been rejected by women and half the time the woman isn't even diagnosed with BPD. 👿 These are just losers who have nothing better to do with their time than rant to their online friends because they don't have any friends and/or are too egotistical to ever admit that they got dumped. 😡

I find it equally disturbing that BPD gets such a bad rep. 👿 Then you have the morons who have it twisted with Multiple Personality Disorder. 😠 We have ONE personality. We just have changing interests and hobbies and a bit of trouble with self identity. 😯  With therapy, a Borderline can actually be cured of the disorder. I am currently working on therapy on my own for the therapy recommended for Borderlines called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). 😊 After the first WEEK I found it to be helpful and saw that it was going to help me a great deal. You just have to work really hard. It took a lot for us to get to where we are now and will take even longer to fix it. Be patient! Good things come to those who wait. You CAN do it!!! 😊😄

BPD is NOT your fault. If someone you know/love is not patient with you or your therapy/recovery, drop them like a hot potato! 🍠🍠🍠 Do NOT allow ANYONE to add insult to injury. Only embrace those with YOUR best interest at heart ♥ and in mind during your recovery. 

For my therapy I've been using a book called "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook" written by Matthew McKay, Ph.D.; Jeffrey C. Wood, Psy.D.; & Jeffrey Brantley, M.D.; and the companion diary called "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Diary" by:  Matthew McKay, Ph.D. and Jeffrey C. Wood, Psy. D. 🌟  I highly recommend these books. 🌟 📖 

Whether you've recently been diagnosed or known forever, I recommend that ALL diagnosed with BPD read "Borderline Personality Disorder - A Guide for the Newly Diagnosed" by Alexander L. Chapman, Ph.D., RPsych and Kim L. Gratz, Ph.D. 📖 🌟 

Since this thread is so old I'll probably edit this and put these suggestions up in a new thread with some edits and more information and thread topic questions. Hope this helps! ❤💙💚💛💜💖💖💖💗💗💘💘💘💝💝💝💟💟💟💘💘🌷🌷🌷🌸🌸🌹🌹🌹🍀🌺🌺🌺🌼🌼🌼🌈🌈🌈

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What a positive (although old) thread! I love hearing stories of recovery.

Some of you here might also be interested in participating in "DBT Skills of the Day" under the Therapy section here on CB, if you're curious to learn or continue to practice DBT skills, celebrate successes, gain some support/cheerleading towards recovery...

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