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New meds every pdoc visit

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Posted

So I have been in this treatment program since September and every time I see my pdoc my meds change or there is a dosage change.  I am getting sick of this crap.  I know I am unstable but my god cant there be something that works?  I feel like a science experament.  Sorry end rant.

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Posted

I hear you.  It makes life very difficult to be constantly changing meds.  Stick with it.  If you have a good pdoc, then you'll find more stability.  I hope you can continue to roll with the punches.  It takes patience and strength to ride the med-go-round, I know. 

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Posted

I hear you.  It makes life very difficult to be constantly changing meds.  Stick with it.  If you have a good pdoc, then you'll find more stability.  I hope you can continue to roll with the punches.  It takes patience and strength to ridet the med-go-round, I know. 

 

I dont know how great she is, she was just assigned to me and first visit hse told me point blank that I was going to be difficult to treat based on the past and most recent ways my bipolar has come out to play.

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Posted

Are you giving the meds 6-8 weeks to work before changing or increasing dosage?  I would stick with the tried and true- lithium, depakote, plus AD and AP.  MOO.

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Posted

Are you giving the meds 6-8 weeks to work before changing or increasing dosage?  I would stick with the tried and true- lithium, depakote, plus AD and AP.  MOO.

I second this.

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Posted

She doesnt givve them a chance, I have no control really over what she might do.  Usually its ok stop this and start this other drug.  So she doesntnt give it any time to sink in I guess.  I am already on Lithobid, but I was on 1200mg when I got here ans my level was 1.1 when she saw that she  instantly knocked me down to 900mg because 1.1 made her uncomfortable.  I wish I could just shake her sometimes.........

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Posted

I don't know if you know this your_illusion97, but a lithium level of 1.1 is on the borderline of going toxic.  I think that's the reason why she was concerned. She didn't want your level to be toxic and develop other problems as a result.

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Posted

It seems that, right now, you have two choices. You can remain in the treatment/city that/where you campaigned long and hard for and ask the hard questions and demand the harder answers, or you can retreat to where you were a few months ago. You indicated then that you were moribund and needed more. Now you have more and you are still moribund.

 

What do you think, feel, and believe can be done to help you move forward?

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Posted

It seems that, right now, you have two choices. You can remain in the treatment/city that/where you campaigned long and hard for and ask the hard questions and demand the harder answers, or you can retreat to where you were a few months ago. You indicated then that you were moribund and needed more. Now you have more and you are still moribund.

 

What do you think, feel, and believe can be done to help you move forward?

Well if I return to my previous pNP she has already said she didnt know how to help me anymore and in the shit hole of a town I live in there arent any real good options as far as psych care.  Plus if I was forced to go back there I would be in hell.  At least here I have peace, my own place and the ability to lock my doors so no one will bother me.  I have no idea what moribund means so you will have to enlighten me. But I just feel like a hopeless case, but I am trying to stick it out here for fear of my parents yanking me back to misery.

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Posted

Moribund, simplistically, means to be in stasis; not growing or changing; without force or vitality.

 

That, at least as I remember you posts and blogs seems to describe your situation.

 

Take a look at you solution for increasing your income. Now, please know that I am not making judgments on sex sites or to/for women who hook up web cams and sell themselves to all comers. Each of us has a right to support ourselves in any way we can. HOWEVER, as a woman nearly 3X your age I will say that being selling sex in any manner, even within the supposed anonymous performances on the internet, is not a particularly fecund undertaking for anyone with MI.

 

If you were my niece I would counsel your strongly against taking that route to money and infamy. If I have ready you posts correctly you have done this in the past. If you can tell me that it was not demeaning and that the money more than made up for the exposure then I am willing to never respond to you in any manner...

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Posted (edited)

Moribund, simplistically, means to be in stasis; not growing or changing; without force or vitality.

 

That, at least as I remember you posts and blogs seems to describe your situation.

 

Take a look at you solution for increasing your income. Now, please know that I am not making judgments on sex sites or to/for women who hook up web cams and sell themselves to all comers. Each of us has a right to support ourselves in any way we can. HOWEVER, as a woman nearly 3X your age I will say that being selling sex in any manner, even within the supposed anonymous performances on the internet, is not a particularly fecund undertaking for anyone with MI.

 

If you were my niece I would counsel your strongly against taking that route to money and infamy. If I have ready you posts correctly you have done this in the past. If you can tell me that it was not demeaning and that the money more than made up for the exposure then I am willing to never respond to you in any manner...

Yeah that basically describes what I'm going through, I'm not getting any better thats for sure, in fact now they are testing me because they strongly believe I have BPD, lovely.  I dont understand whats wrong with webcamming or stripping or anything like that.  I cant do what I used to do, Pharmacy tech.  I need something flexable, where I can set my own hours and if I need a day off I dont have to explain to a boss that I'm manic or something.  I am in the process of applying for disability on my case mamagers insistance.  But what the government will give me wont be enough to live on so camming and the like is a good backup, I dont understand the problem? For the record I found stripping to be very liberating.

Edited by your_illusion97

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Posted

on your original question...I've had a tweak of some variety (i.e. dosage adjustment, sometimes adding something new) at nearly every appointment, which have been of the 4-6 week variety. That said, they're in small increments and in response to direct symptoms or side effects that I'm reporting. So having constant changes isn't necessarily a bad thing--my pdoc wants me to be asymptomatic and not hindered by side effects if at all possible and we're tweaking for a bit to see if that's possible.

 

I have had appointments where we've just sat where things were to see if they would change, but they were few.

 

What sounds different, though, is that I trust my pdoc and his adjustments make sense to me. It seems like that isn't the case for you and, if so, is something worth addressing.

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Posted

on your original question...I've had a tweak of some variety (i.e. dosage adjustment, sometimes adding something new) at nearly every appointment, which have been of the 4-6 week variety. That said, they're in small increments and in response to direct symptoms or side effects that I'm reporting. So having constant changes isn't necessarily a bad thing--my pdoc wants me to be asymptomatic and not hindered by side effects if at all possible and we're tweaking for a bit to see if that's possible.

 

I have had appointments where we've just sat where things were to see if they would change, but they were few.

 

What sounds different, though, is that I trust my pdoc and his adjustments make sense to me. It seems like that isn't the case for you and, if so, is something worth addressing.

Yeah my pdoc isnt really the approchable type personality.  Half the time she doesnt really tell me what she is doing.  No realy discussion on option and stuff or my opinion.  But then she always wants to see me every three weeks, but she is always booked 6 weeks out.......how does that work?

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Posted

have you tried to get her to explain something? I know some won't because of time limitations and such things...but anything along the lines of "I respect that you want change X, but can you explain why we're doing it/how it'll benefit me/what the reasoning is?" Some people might not be likely to talk on their own, but will if confronted directly.

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Posted

have you tried to get her to explain something? I know some won't because of time limitations and such things...but anything along the lines of "I respect that you want change X, but can you explain why we're doing it/how it'll benefit me/what the reasoning is?" Some people might not be likely to talk on their own, but will if confronted directly.

 

 

I do try to talk to her and she knows I am more familiar with the drugs than an average patient because I have been a pharmacy tech for the past 4 years and before that on and off since I was 18

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cally describes what I'm going through, I'm not getting any better thats for sure, in fact now they are testing me because they strongly believe I have BPD, lovely.  I dont understand whats wrong with webcamming or stripping or anything like that.  I cant do what I used to do, Pharmacy tech.  I need something flexable, where I can set my own hours and if I need a day off I dont have to explain to a boss that I'm manic or something.  I am in the process of applying for disability on my case mamagers insistance.  But what the government will give me wont be enough to live on so camming and the like is a good backup, I dont understand the problem? For the record I found stripping to be very liberating.

Until you can be open with your parents regarding your "camming" activities that is completely descriptive of what is "wrong with it".

As you have mentioned elsewhere that you are very careful to put all the cameras and toys away when your parents are expected. I do not believe that your liberation is as complete as you would have me to believe.

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Posted

If you are unstable, it is common to have small med tweaks at every pdoc appt. I've been seeing my pdoc every 2-3 weeks for the past couple of months, and he does little tweaks every time. That's what pdocs do... Prescribe meds.

I agree with Andy, 1.1 on lith is borderline toxic and needed to be changed for safety reasons. What are some of the other changes that are being made that you don't like?

You have to realize that inpatient and intensive OP programs move at a much faster progress than when you are on your own. Time and space is money, and their goal is to stabilize you and move you out ASAP. So that's also why the meds are being changed so frequently. One of the times I was IP, the pdoc completely switched four of my meds. All at once. Cold turkey. That was rough, but it worked.

You need to tell your pdoc that you need more discussion about the med changes and the how and whys. You said she knows you are a pharmacy tech. Maybe she figures you know everything about the meds already and you are a very informed consumer and she doesn't need to talk to you about the changes. If you don't communicate your feelings with her, how is she ever going to know how you feel?

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Posted

If you are unstable, it is common to have small med tweaks at every pdoc appt. I've been seeing my pdoc every 2-3 weeks for the past couple of months, and he does little tweaks every time. That's what pdocs do... Prescribe meds.

I agree with Andy, 1.1 on lith is borderline toxic and needed to be changed for safety reasons. What are some of the other changes that are being made that you don't like?

You have to realize that inpatient and intensive OP programs move at a much faster progress than when you are on your own. Time and space is money, and their goal is to stabilize you and move you out ASAP. So that's also why the meds are being changed so frequently. One of the times I was IP, the pdoc completely switched four of my meds. All at once. Cold turkey. That was rough, but it worked.

You need to tell your pdoc that you need more discussion about the med changes and the how and whys. You said she knows you are a pharmacy tech. Maybe she figures you know everything about the meds already and you are a very informed consumer and she doesn't need to talk to you about the changes. If you don't communicate your feelings with her, how is she ever going to know how you feel?

Yes I agree I do need to assert myself more with her.  Thanks

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cally describes what I'm going through, I'm not getting any better thats for sure, in fact now they are testing me because they strongly believe I have BPD, lovely.  I dont understand whats wrong with webcamming or stripping or anything like that.  I cant do what I used to do, Pharmacy tech.  I need something flexable, where I can set my own hours and if I need a day off I dont have to explain to a boss that I'm manic or something.  I am in the process of applying for disability on my case mamagers insistance.  But what the government will give me wont be enough to live on so camming and the like is a good backup, I dont understand the problem? For the record I found stripping to be very liberating.

Until you can be open with your parents regarding your "camming" activities that is completely descriptive of what is "wrong with it".

As you have mentioned elsewhere that you are very careful to put all the cameras and toys away when your parents are expected. I do not believe that your liberation is as complete as you would have me to believe.

This post has nothing to do with my original question.  Please keep things on topic.  Thanks.

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Posted

You have no right to try to control what people say to you, or order them around.

 

It isn't as if we are only familiar with you from this one thread. We know things about you from a variety of threads, and are free to bring them up willy-nilly. That's part of the deal if you post here, or anywhere, for any length of time.

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I don't think that Illusions relationship with her pdoc and her meds is anything to do with her web camming activities and what Indigo feels about them, so for the purposed of dealing with this issue, I'd like to ask everyone to focus on the matter at hand here. It is very possible and part of what CB does to help people access better medical care, whether they are choosing to do sex work or not. I dislike the insinuation that because someone is having problems in other areas of their life, it has to be related to the sex work they do, when in this case, I fail to see how they directly relate.

 

Members can think what they like about sex work, they can assert those opinions on threads where it is being discussed but members here involved in sex work are not there to be badgered about it when they post about other unrelated and important issues in the rest of their life. This is not somewhere to judge people in the sex industry, many of our valued members and mods have or do work within it and this place is safe for them as much as it is anyone else.

 

Illusion, some ideas:

 

  • Do you have an advocate or trusted friend/relative who can help you speak out in your appointments/prepare what you want to say between them?
  • Can you keep a mood diary/log of what you experience to use as a talking point in an appt?
  • Are you clear yourself on what side effects you and won't tolerate and for how long
  • Can you say that you are being honest about your illness in your appts, sometimes pdocs can't give you the best treatment is you forget to mention or play things down.
  • Are you taking what you are prescribed as prescribed for long enough?

 

It is shit to have to be on the med go round and feel at the mercy of someone you don't 100% trust. It might be better to ask your pdoc what her opinion is of your situation and what her long term plan is, how sees your treatment going on etc to get a better idea of how she makes these decisions. Many pdoc conflicts can be improved by being honest. Most pdocs would rather a patient say 'I feel x about things and that is why I am doing y with my meds' than spend months treating someone who is withholding/un co operative/angry and not know why that is.

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Posted

I don't think that Illusions relationship with her pdoc and her meds is anything to do with her web camming activities and what Indigo feels about them, so for the purposed of dealing with this issue, I'd like to ask everyone to focus on the matter at hand here. It is very possible and part of what CB does to help people access better medical care, whether they are choosing to do sex work or not. I dislike the insinuation that because someone is having problems in other areas of their life, it has to be related to the sex work they do, when in this case, I fail to see how they directly relate.

 

Members can think what they like about sex work, they can assert those opinions on threads where it is being discussed but members here involved in sex work are not there to be badgered about it when they post about other unrelated and important issues in the rest of their life. This is not somewhere to judge people in the sex industry, many of our valued members and mods have or do work within it and this place is safe for them as much as it is anyone else.

 

Illusion, some ideas:

 

  • Do you have an advocate or trusted friend/relative who can help you speak out in your appointments/prepare what you want to say between them?
  • Can you keep a mood diary/log of what you experience to use as a talking point in an appt?
  • Are you clear yourself on what side effects you and won't tolerate and for how long
  • Can you say that you are being honest about your illness in your appts, sometimes pdocs can't give you the best treatment is you forget to mention or play things down.
  • Are you taking what you are prescribed as prescribed for long enough?

 

It is shit to have to be on the med go round and feel at the mercy of someone you don't 100% trust. It might be better to ask your pdoc what her opinion is of your situation and what her long term plan is, how sees your treatment going on etc to get a better idea of how she makes these decisions. Many pdoc conflicts can be improved by being honest. Most pdocs would rather a patient say 'I feel x about things and that is why I am doing y with my meds' than spend months treating someone who is withholding/un co operative/angry and not know why that is. 

 

Thank you, I havent logged on here for a bit after my last post and being attacked, but I feel like this is the only place I have to turn to.  I dont really have anyone that is around me that much to go to my appointments.  I have a few friends, but they all have lives and families and dont see them a lot.  I did start a mood chart, then kinda slacked off on it, I need to get back to it.  I know what side effects I wont tolerate.  I am honest with my pdoc, like at my appointment today I told her yet again that my anxiety was still bad and how bad my depression was and how it impacted my life.  I am taking my medicines as prescribed exactly untill she takes me off of them.    I probably should ask her more about where she is expecting my treatment is going to go, if anywhere.  I just got diagnosed with BPD.  So I dont know what crap that will bring.  I am always cooperative with my pdoc and often bring a list of stuff I want to bring up and talk about.  So yeah thats about all of it.  Thanks for responding.

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Posted

Ya, I've been there. Always changing the freakin med or taking one out and giving you something else to balance things out. UGH!. I just know man.....But, all in all. We are sick ppl and they are just doing what they think is in your best interest but, if you get to a point where say this is nuts and you guys don't seem to care that my brain is about to explode ask for a new doctor if your at a free clinic or on SSI and go to another doc....Hope the best for ya!

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Posted

My meds used to get tweaked a lot.  I think the pdoc I saw was good, but I wasn't stable so he would put me on higher doses of my meds and then slowly titrate down when I was more stable. But, now that I've been stable for awhile my meds have stayed the same and the consistancy helps me. It is hard to find a good combo.

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Posted (edited)

Haven't they offered DBT therapy since diagnosing you with BPD?  That therapy has helped me so much, even though I don't have BPD.  I had some traits that have improved so much since doing a workbook on my own.  If those fucknuts are not offering DBT, consider buying a workbook or joining the yahoo group for self help DBT.  How can they diagnose you with this and then not offer treatment for it?  Makes me mad, I can just imagine how you feel.

Edited by scatty

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