10 posts in this topic
Failed parnate what next?
I have been on Parnate for 4 months up to 120mg. I think that's a fair trial and I can say it is not working. I have an appointment with my psych on Monday and was hoping to get some suggestions on what I could try next? I think psych will suggest clomipramine. Has anyone failed parnate and gone on to find remission with something else?
I thought we had gotten my meds right. Crashing hard
I had about a 2 month period when I thought we had figured out my meds and was feeling rather "normal" Well now i been crashing, and it got worse about 4 days ago... If anyone has read any of my previous post one of my biggest things that comes with my crashes is wanting to leave my husband. Again he is an AMAZING person, loving, supportive, loyal. I dont desire a divorce (though i often think that would be the fairest thing for him even though I know he doesnt want it either) I HATE MYSELF for these thoughts. I HATE MYSELF SO BAD. Id gladly deal with most anything else then wanting to leave him like this. Its so much harder this time. Maybe because its been so long since Ive felt this way.. I cant pinpoint why i want to leave except maybe because I want to be alone. But we have 2 young kids and I have no ways of supporting myself so im stuck... Ive often thought id be content to live in a tiny home on the same property as he. I havent felt "in love" with him for nearly 2 years now. But I do love him dearly, I still consider him my best friend. Id worry so bad if I left, and I know id be sick with jealousy if he moved on with someone else despite me also thinking he would have a happier life. I wrote him a very LONG letter about how I feel, and it included everything.. He didnt say anything but he did look hurt. who wouldnt? I even told him this time I wished something would just happen to me so he could grieve and move on. The only reason I wont entertain the thoughts of ending it myself is the kids and him.
Im also frustrated that my dr. had agreed that TMS but the one place she submitted my info to turned me down because of my drinking... Ive nearly quit now so I can get this treatment as im so sensitive to meds yet she hasn't updated my info or resubmitted me nor has she tried submitting my info to the other office that does it. My councilor recommended me call her and see her sooner but my appt is tuesday and my daughter has her recitals this week so I didnt call since we are so busy..
I dont know what to do anymore... I want to leave so bad, but I truly have no idea if that would solve a damn thing. I guess I need someone that has felt this way to give me some hope that things will get better, or at least fade away and our marriage will remain intact. Or just tell me not to leave because it will make it worse.... I just dont know what I need anymore....
When depression becomes a physical sensation
By Angeni Mai
What do you do when you feel so lousy that the days are void of meaning? How do you cope when you're so chronically bored and anxious that you feel the need to claw at your skin because it feels like bugs are eating you alive from the inside? What do you do when you've been suicidal for weeks and can't get help?
That's the position I'm in right now. I know the answer most would give is to go IP, but I can't. There are a few reasons I can't but my dad is the biggest one. Even if I could go, IP won't even help if I have to come back to this piece of Hell on Earth.
So what do you do when the conventional isn't an option?
Drugs for depressive part of bipolar
I've been thinking about bringing up Wellbutrin to my PA for my depression/depressive episodes and mixed episodes. I know Antidepressants usually get a bad rep for use in treatment for bipolar disorder because they can trigger mania, but from what I've researched Wellbutrin seems to be an atypical one that affects dopamine more. Am i correct in stating that? I have severe motivation issues and feel generally apathetic when it comes to everything. Also from what I've researched it seems Prozac and Wellbutrin are a good combination that have been studied in use for treatment of the depressive aspect of bipolar disorder. I was on wellbutrin long ago before I had my MDD retracted but can't specially remember how I reacted. My mother tells me I did really well on it but I'm weary about restarting it from all the research I've done on antidepressants.
Any one ever been on this combination and have anything to say about it? Pros/Cons? Stories? Anything would be beneficial in helping me decide if its even worth bringing up.
How Deep TMS Saved Me...For Two Weeks *Trigger Warning*
So, you may have read my post about Deep TMS and how it saved my life. Unfortunately, my feelings were short lived. My last treatment was Wednesday 4\27\2016. As soon as I tapered down to one treatment a week, I was sent into a depressive fog. I became suicidial, depressed, isolative, and started to self injure. My treatment team is very aware and I live in a boarding home so I am pretty safe.
I am on suicidial checks and also just hang out in the community. I, still am on the end of my rope.
So, next step: ECT. I hope it works.