10 posts in this topic
Problem Being Addressed by My Philosophy: It is currently believed that it is our value judgments and mindsets alone that allow us to perceive value in our lives. I think this is false. Perceiving value and worth in our lives depends upon something greater. It is something more than our value judgments and mindsets alone.
Thesis: It is only our positive emotions which allow us to perceive good value, worth, joy, beauty, happiness, love, peace, contentment, etc. (i.e. the positive qualities of life), our negative emotions which allow us to perceive bad value, suffering, hate, misery, torment, sadness, etc. (i.e. the negative qualities of life), while having neither positive nor negative emotions is the only thing that can allow us to perceive the basic, neutral qualities of life such as the idea of your microwave running, knowing mathematics, seeing the trees outside, etc. We can acknowledge the existence of values that things and situations have in our lives without our emotions, but we would not be able to actually see these values. Even though we can't see them, I would still recommend, for example, saving your life or the life of one of your family members who is in danger even if you were completely apathetic.
How the Thesis Contributes to the Problem: We are living our lives like machines, so to speak. We carry on in lives that are not happy to us (i.e. a life without positive emotions). People think this is what living a good and worthwhile life is supposed to be like. By believing that the higher, humanistic qualities in our lives come about through our value judgments alone, then we are denying the existence of any real version of these qualities. Our emotions are something vital and precious and people just wish to leave them out of the picture. I wish to bring them back into the picture.
Alternative Answers to this Problem: Perhaps if people learned that our judgments do not dictate reality and instead paid attention to their inner consciousness, then they would come to realize that it was never their value judgments that made their lives of value to them to begin with. They would see that these emotions truly possess powerful life force that gives our lives perceived value.
Why the Stated Thesis is Preferable to the Alternatives: As long as we continue to live this blind and judgmental delusion, we as a human race will never be awakened to our higher component (our emotions). People such as me who have been awakened would only be laughed at and scoffed at. We would be deemed as lower intellects since we do not live our lives by intellectual endeavors, but rather, happy endeavors. We would just be deemed as selfish, childish, immature, etc. individuals who just want to have a fun time and enjoy our lives as opposed to being some sort of noble warrior who endures misery and unhappiness for the sake of altruistic endeavors. It was never about being this noble, altruistic warrior. It was all about our inner divine light, so to speak (our happiness).
Brief Summary of My Philosophy: My positive emotions are very profound and beautiful to me. This is not a value judgment. They are literally like a holy and divine life force that possess the intrinsic quality of goodness, joy, and beauty. They are the light to my life and allow me to see good values in my life. If I have this light taken away from me due to depression, emotional trauma, or any other factor, then no value judgment or way of thinking alone can allow me to see any good values. When a person says that he feels good or that he feels bad, then this is to be taken literally. This version of good and bad is not a value judgment. Rather, it is an intrinsic quality that our positive and negative emotions have which allows us to perceive a real quality of good and bad value in our lives. Intrinsic things are real while judgmental qualities are not. If you judged a quality of water to be inside an empty glass, then that will not make a judgmental quality of water appear in that glass.
Likewise, if a hard material appeared soft to you and you judged it to be soft, then it wouldn't really be soft. But these examples are physical qualities out in the physical world. The same rule applies to perceptual qualities. For example, if a blind person judged himself as having the ability to see and he believed that, then he wouldn't really be seeing anything. No judgmental quality of sight would exist for him. It is only real sight which can allow him to see. In that same sense, no value judgment and belief of our lives having perceived good value to us can make our lives good to us without our positive emotions. No judgmental quality of good value actually exists to allow us to perceive any real good value in our lives in the absence of our positive emotions. It is only our positive emotions which are this real perceptual quality of good value we need in our lives.
Featured Response and Reply:
Other Person's Response: There are many sentient organisms out there that don't have emotions. Yet, they still help others of their kind. I think they really are perceiving value in their lives.
My Reply: They still wouldn't be. They would just be biological machines surviving, reproducing, helping others of their kind, and nothing more. It might be their wiring that would be convincing them that their lives have value to them. Hence the reason why they continue to survive and help others. There are less evolved organisms and then there are the higher evolved organisms. The less evolved organisms never evolved emotions to give them a real perceptual quality of value. Therefore, these types of organisms had to instead rely on some sort of hardwiring that would fool them into thinking they are perceiving value in their lives. Even we as human beings have this wiring. Some people do and some people don't. It's no different than how a religious believer can still believe in his false god against all odds proving to him that his god isn't real.
It would be his wiring that would be making him still believe in his false god. We as human beings also have this type of wiring when it comes to the value and worth of our lives. This is because it served an evolutionary benefit. By setting our emotions aside and by setting aside hedonistic pursuits, we could focus on non hedonistic and altruistic endeavors. Therefore, some people have this non hedonistic/altruistic wiring which would give them a false sense of value in their lives in the absence of their positive emotions. But there are such people like myself who don't have this wiring. These are the types of people who can truly see into their inner self and what truly gives a person's life perceived value. If it weren't for the wiring of that religious believer in my example, then he could also see the truth that his false god such as Thor wasn't real either.
One of my most problematic symptoms is the voice that says horrible things to me. It can be either silent just in my head or I can say it out loud. Examples are: Everybody hates you. You're pathetic. You stupid bitch. You're useless. You fucking idiot. These insults are relentless and happen when I'm alone. Often it's when I'm in bed and I have to yell out something like shut up get out of my head. But this is endless and the voice will come back, guaranteed. What are some good strategies for when the voice speaks to you? It's really torturing me and the constant criticism is destroying what little self esteem I have.
By Just a dude
Hello! I this is my first post and I want to talk about some personal issues going on with my life that is associated with coming of age (I think?), but I'm not sure why they are happening and if it is normal.
I am a 16 year old teen living in Australia with an Asian background. When I was young, I used to be pretty happy as I lived in a townhouse and mainly played with any kid in the town. We all got really close, I went to a school close to me, had a school friend growing up with me in the same area, went to a lot of school clubs and played an instrument. My mum and dad were nice as well as I had a 'passion' for studying I guess, so I got the DUX award at my school (Top of junior school, eh).
Then in grade 8, I went to another school and moved to another townhouse (school was still 5 minute drive from my house). My friend I grew up with also came to my school (so it just me and him facing the world together!). At first, I was shy and all that but I gradually made a lot of friends and we actually played the same games (League of Legends if you're interested) and went out and had lots of fun as well as my work ethics from my first school helped me a lot to study. I made closer friends than back in my first school and we talked all night on Skype and studied together and live as if we were close brothers and sisters. In fact, at this time in my schooling life I managed to have a nice girlfriend (which we ended) and another one in grade 9. This bits a bit weird. From my first breakup I felt this state of depression because it questioned who I was. The only reason we broke up was because of who I developed in society (a kind, smart dude but didn't really think about myself properly or others). So from then on, my close friend I grew up with, his mother was a Christian (I don't want to offend anyone when I say this, but she took the Bible literally). I wanted to become a Christian too so I can rediscover my true self without hiding my inner self, so I just listened to everything she said and just copied the same thing. It changed my mind in a wrong way as she told me stuff like "No working or studying on Sunday" or "The government is evil" and like "The queen is bathing in the blood of babies to keep her alive" in addition to the the Bible. This caused conflict within my family and I guess I lost that encouragement and warmth from my parents from that day on, even when I broke up with my friend and her mum as they remember of what I did.
All this chaos made me really want to change schools, so I thought about going to Queensland Academy of Science Mathemetics and Technology, which is the top school in Queensland, Australia. I applied and everything and took the test and got in, and I thought I can start a new life and rediscover myself. And we bought a house this time, but it is one and a half hours away from school by bus with a lot of transfers in between.
Long story short, I found out me trying to discover myself stopped me from finding myself this whole time, and I became me I guess. But, with that, I lost all these emotions. Also, I've been working harder than normal and not getting good grades (this school is number one in academic so maybe I'm just stupid .-.), so I thought that my 'Fake self' had good principles, such as being always positive and having a passion for study instead of me right now, doing work for the heck of it, reading Webtoons and occasionally playing basketball and thinking about a girl I have a crush right now. I also got Facebook to talk to others, but all I just see is everyone posting how good their life is while I'm just laughing at memes about relatable problems.
So, I'm asking anyone whose reading this, is this a normal thing in life to be like, or did I stray from being normal. And also, is this what they mean by the stereotype that teens are moody and rebellious and becoming adults?
I'd like any responses cos I'm curious (btw, not suicidal at all, just pooped with life) and thank you if you do read this and can respond!
I'm pretty sure I have depression. I plan things to do to help it and then am unable to do them later because I feel down and alone. Every day is a lonely struggle. People don't understand, not that I can interact with many at the moment. The biggest problem might be my job. I work for the post office and every day is at least a 3 hour struggle of being out in the 110 degree heat, trying not to think and get down. It's nearly impossible. I'm sure there's techniques but I feel so alone and distant from everything. I barely have friends, I just got back together with my guy after some struggles but even with him of all people, I feel not good enough and like I'm just a waste of his time. I love him, he can find someone better. And yet I'm selfish, too sad and alone to let go and driving him crazy with my daily insecurities. The same ones over and over again. Am I okay? Am I okay? Am I okay? I'm constantly lonely, making shit worse and have no place to safely vent because it's a lot of negative and I might be okay one day, not half the day even and then just keep feeling the negative. I can't talk to people because of how down I feel constantly and I'm not doing anything interesting because of it so I don't have normal conversation to talk about. I feel lost and disconnected from everything. And trapped in a box. And ultimately alone and failing what little I have despite my efforts. I can't get the happy to stay in my head every day and people get frustrated and hurt that it doesn't and it makes me feel worse.
Who ever is reading this, thanks for taking the time to do so. I just wanted to be heard, to talk to someone even though I sound pathetic. I hope your day was good and tanks for stopping by.
I have been diagnosed with "Mood disorder-unspecified" as well as "moderate depression"...so, not a lot to go on. I also suspect that I suffer from Quiet BPD, and/or some form of cyclothymia.
I went on Lamictal to combat my anger/agitation/rage explosions, as well as SSRI-resistant depression. I was on 25mg for 2 weeks, and immediately felt a difference. I had energy and hope. When situations would come up that usually would throw me into either a rage or crying fit, I was able to analyze the situation better, and the emotions would swell, and then eventually pass. I felt a lot better, and thought that an increased dose (as ordered by my PDOC) would bring even greater results.
I increased to 50mg yesterday, and to put it simply, I feel like total crap. I have a headache, intense bloating and gas, I feel hungover, and suddenly have depression and zero motivation. I feel like I took a giant step backwards. Any hope I had of feeling better has been dashed. I feel like I can barely handle my 4-year old son, let alone just be awake and functioning.
Has anyone heard of Lamictal/mood stabilizers working at a low dose? I know that the therapeutic dose is near 100mg or so, but I can't imagine increasing it if I'm going to keep feeling like this. Does it get better, or should I talk to my PDOC about staying at 25mg?
Thanks. I just want to feel hope about this again.