10 posts in this topic
I'm newly diagnosed with what my pshychiatrist put to me as "mild bipolar", whatever the hell that means, but I've had depression and severe anxiety disorder for years.
I've been taking 300mg wellbutrin for my anxiety for a few years now, and I've been on 200mg Topamax for chronic migraines for almost 4 years.
My new Psychiatrist just added Lamictal to my regimen today to try to aid with my mood swings. Has anyone been on this combo before? And Did it help? just looking for info on what I might be expecting.
I saw a new pdoc today, and related to him how I frequently sleep for 20-50 hours at a time, and he recommended Adderall as a possibility to help stimulate me. I spoke with a friend and she says that Adderall helped with her depression greatly because it increased her productivity, which in turn helped her to feel good. She also said the increased focus allowed her to block out her negative thinking ... staying busy I guess.
First of all, I just want to let you know that this is being written by someone who has harmed before, but has stopped.
Now, something you really need to know is that self-harm of any kind, whether it be cutting, starving, burning, bruising or anything else, is NOT an emo trend. It's a real problem. It can't be brushed aside as something that will be popular for awhile and then die down. IT IS REAL.
All too often, self-injury stems from feelings of worthlessness and severe depression. And you know what? You don't have to have had something traumatic happen to you for you to be depressed. Loss of appetite? Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy? Fatigue? Inexplicable sadness? Sound familiar? That's depression.
What NOT to say to a harmer
Even with the best of intentions, someone might say something that triggers you. For example; "You're just hurting yourself more, how is that helping?" "Cutting yourself on purpose? That is messed up." "You just want attention."
We know it's wrong. We realise how counterproductive it seems. That doesn't make it easier to stop. So you don't need to remind us. As for attention, if that's what you think, then explain to me why we try so hard to hide our scars?
What is good to say to a harmer?
As I mentioned before, harming often stems from feelings of worthlessness. If you notice someone looking sad, just reassure them. Don't even mention self-harm. Just say things like;
"I'm here for you." "You can talk to me whenever." "You are beautiful." "I love you."
Sometimes all it takes is the assurance that someone thinks highly of them. As I mentioned twice before, it usually stems from feelings of worthlessness. So make sure to let them know what they're worth.
And as a last thought, never judge a book by its cover. All too often the harmer is the one who spends their day helping to keep everyone else afloat, then goes home and drowns.
I've always had issues with Envy. I get intense feelings (even when Highly functioning & not depressed) that everybody around (but me) is thriving, achieving satisfaction and moving towards self-actualization in life. I can’t escape feelings of failure, anger with myself. Drowning in hopelessness no matter what I do.
Specifically, I’m envious of people that:
Are “Normal” and don’t struggle daily with this invisible disease of mental illness. Are successful with a rewarding (or decent/productive) career. Easily move through life & have achieved “The Dream” (house, family, career, general satisfaction). Have children (those who don’t struggle with infertility). Have a large family (both parents, siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, in-laws, etc). Have creative outputs (creative talents, hobbies and drive or inspiration to create). Are mentally healthy and able to contribute to society, leave a legacy, or make a difference in the world. Is there ANYTHING that helps stop these feelings/thoughts?! CBT doesn't work for me. I can't rationally "meditate" it out of my mind, making gratitude lists has not helped...As a child, before I was diagnosed depressed, I was very capable, bright, engaged in life - now I can’t get off the ground, always going through the motions. Envy is destroying any progress I make and is suffocating at times.