12 posts in this topic
I'm newly diagnosed with what my pshychiatrist put to me as "mild bipolar", whatever the hell that means, but I've had depression and severe anxiety disorder for years.
I've been taking 300mg wellbutrin for my anxiety for a few years now, and I've been on 200mg Topamax for chronic migraines for almost 4 years.
My new Psychiatrist just added Lamictal to my regimen today to try to aid with my mood swings. Has anyone been on this combo before? And Did it help? just looking for info on what I might be expecting.
I look in the mirror and see a really standard white female, average and in my opinion she is pretty! I think I actually went from an ugly duckling to a swan in fact. I have days were I feel ugly but today is a good day. And I feel it's important to tell myself this because I was bullied so much as a teen about my appearance. I didn't look much worse than anyone else looking back, I was sort of plain looking because I was too stressed out to care much about fashion or doing my hair. But yet my anxiety always gravitates back to "People treat me horribly because I look weird to them and they wouldn't if I were prettier or had better clothes", but that is well, crazy! People are mean not because of how someone look but because of their own personal problems/lack of empathy/boredom and they think they can use random people as their punching bags whenever they feel like it, or they've got it in their warped minds that it's fun to tear people down.
I am frustrated by this problem because I feel guilty that I worry about my appearance so much, that it makes me shallow or something. It goes against my true values and beliefs and everything I've learned thus far about beauty, which is that:
a) Scientists have already proven that "ugly" is what we call something that our brains have difficulty processing. I wish I could find the article for this but yeah, if a person finds something hard to look at it means they've been looking at the same thing for too long and need to get out of their comfort zone.
b) I am a proud feminist, and so in general I think a girl has a right to be whatever she wants to be, and she doesn't have to fit into Society's beauty ideals to be treated as an equal.
c) This quote: "You are beautiful when you do beautiful things."
The most frustrating stuff that comes up is not that I keep having these persistent "I'm ugly, I'm a freak, I don't belong here" thoughts, but that I get jealous of girls who say they are sick of being catcalled. How messed up is that?? I hate it. Being catcalled is just another form of harassment and somehow my mind has been polluted with this unwanted thought that it's somehow better to be catcalled than to be straight up insulted and called shit-ugly by grown men (Or semi-grown men I guess, it happened in College.) Then again maybe they weren't really grown men for behaving that way....no they weren't. They were bratty toddlers in adult male bodies. Yeah. >:)
Girls, any of you have these struggles? These thoughts that contradict your other thoughts and make you feel bad? Ugh, the struggle is real.
I am new here.. I don't know who to talk to because I feel like nobody can really understand how I feel. I've officially been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, ADD, MDD, generalized anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia... Ugh...I also have a history of substance abuse so there are medications I need but can no longer receive. I was on klonpin 1 mg 3 times a day for 6-7 years. Once my Dr learned of substance abuse by running into the physician assistant at the methadone clinic I was straight cut off. I'm now on:
Wellbutrin 300 mg daily for mdd and ADD
Tegretol 200 mg 3x daily for bpd
Seroquel 250 mg at night for mdd
I've been offered buspar and propanolol but after trying them and neither being any useful stopped those. I feel constantly exhausted, irritated and dissociated. I didn't feel this bad prior to being medicated. I'm now on suboxone instead of methadone because having to leave my house daily had me in constant panic mode.
I can't get any doctor to give me the help I really need. Getting back on klonopin and I also need a decent medication for ADD. I'm looking to add these to my current meds to see if this helps but it's pretty much impossible especially while on suboxone. And no, getting off suboxone isn't an option. I keep feeling more and more depressed every day... Anyone else having these issues?
I've been living in the the United States for well over twenty years. I have a diagnosis of panic disorder without agoraphobia, major depression, and generalized anxiety disorder.
My company has offered me a rather lucrative job opportunity, but it would require a job transfer to Ontario. I really want to take it, but I'm extremely concerned about finding a psychiatrist there and not having to switch up my meds. I currently take Effexor 150 MG and diazepam 15 MG daily. I have been on both for many years with no escalation or issues. They work quite well for me.
How difficult is it going to be to continue taking these meds and to get care in Canada? I am a Canadian citizen, so I would have insurance 3 months after arrival. Normally I would just fly home every four months and get my meds and see my PDOC here until I found someone in Toronto. That being said, you can't do that because importing RXs from the US is illegal, and I'm sure the diazepam could cause issues. I'm at a loss. I seriously may not be able to relocate because of this.
Any feedback from Canadians or someone who has gone through this would be appreciated.