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do you shave 'everything'?

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Posted

Just had an arguement with my girlfriend.  admittedly we are on either end of the spectrum.  At this point in my life I shave nothing.  Used to shave legs, armpits, crotch area, etc.  But my hair grew back in just a few hours and I got sick of the time and pain and money of getting waxed.  so I dumped the whole shebang well before I met my husband. I must have been in my late 20's, early 30's.

 

My girlfriend waxes every fucking thing - arms, back, tummy, crotch, pubic hair, legs, pits, etc. 

 

Last night I found out my girl is shaving her pubic hair when she gets her period.  She has been complaining about these bumps she is getting and she finally showed me today the ones on her legs near her crotch. They looked just like in grown hairs or hair coming back after being shaved.  She denied that she shaved there.  Then she flapped her hand toward her vagina and said something about shaving there when she gets her period.  I freaked.

 

Shaving your vagina at age 13?  WTF? Who told her to do this? I am SURE it was my girlfriends daughter.  This girl is VERY VERY OCD.  She windexes her folders. 

 

Whatever the reason was I want my kid to stop.  My girlfriend says it is her body, she can decide.  I remember a few years ago my cousin who is a nurse practitioner told me that mostly ALL of the woman coming into Planned Parenthood clinic with STD's had not one hair on their vagina.  Somehow I got the impression it was not good to shave everything. Won't it grow back and itch like shit each time?  And won't the hairs be coarser?

 

Help!  I don't know a damn thing about this.  I do know what to do about the bumps - tea tree oil helps, girlfriend said to use neosporin ointment and witch hazel. 

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Posted

I remember a few years ago my cousin who is a nurse practitioner told me that mostly ALL of the woman coming into Planned Parenthood clinic with STD's had not one hair on their vagina.  Somehow I got the impression it was not good to shave everything.

 

One thing has nothing to do with the other. STD are neither the cause of nor the result of shaving/waxing one's pubic area. And someone who does shave/wax is no more likely to get an STD that someone who does not.

 

The fashion of waxing, such as the now popular Brazilian wax, waxes and wanes.

 

Won't it grow back and itch like shit each time?

 

I am not sure what shit has to do with shaving: does shit itch? I suppose without adequate hygiene it would itch, badly.

 

With good shaving techniques, sharp razors and appropriate shaving cream itching is not a problem.

 

  And won't the hairs be coarser?

 

That is one of those tales that just does not go away. The simple answer is no.

 

If she is shaving her pubic region, be certain she  has disposable razors, shaving cream, and a good moisturized, Nivea works well.

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Posted

Just when she gets her period? Do you think maybe she thinks that's less messy or something? I've never heard of this.

 

I started shaving my legs when I was like, ten or something ridiculous like that. I did it every day. Can't do that now. I'm 26 and it I shave my legs every day, they look GROSS. Serious razor burn. I only shave the thighs (that hair is fine and thin and not very visible in the winter) like, once a month. The bottom every other or every three days, something like that.

 

Pits, yeah.

 

Va jay jay? A little upkeep, not much. Bikini line is taken care of and then some trimming if needed, whatever. I think I used to shave it all off when I was sixteen or so, but I didn't have sex until I was 18, so I don't know why I was doing that at all. I also KNEW I wasn't going to be having sex any time soon. I didn't want to, didn't plan on it, etc. Just did that for no reason I guess?

 

Now if I were to do that, same case as my legs, serious razor burn that's far less attractive to me than pubes.

 

It DOES itch when it grows back, yeah, that happens to me. That's another reason why I shave what I feel I need to and leave the rest.

 

 You thought when you heard that about the girls with STDs were more likely to get them if they shaved their junk? I just thought "wow, a lot of sexually active women shave their junk." I don't know, everyone is different, I can totally see why you'd make that correlation though, especially if the woman was presenting it that way. I don't buy it. I do know there are many ways to get an STD, I don't think having pubes is going to prevent one. Condoms. 

 

But, like I said, I was shaving that area for a couple years before I even thought about having sex. Once I started thinking about having sex, I actually let it grow back because I generally do not like the appearance of my, or anyone's vagina. Thought having pubes would cover that up a bit, he he.

 

I don't know what I'm trying to get at. I know you're concerned about her doing this, and I probably would be as well, I just don't understand the question, so I said everything I have to say on the topic.

 

Oh, right, it doesn't grow back darker and thicker. I had peach fuzz above my lip that I trimmed with one of those electric trimmers and have done it a lot and don't notice a difference in that hair at all. I probably don't even need to do it, just don't like it there. But if I forget for months at a time, it's not like I notice it or anything.

 

As far as the bumps go, the neosporin is a good idea, I'd say. That sounds good. I didn't ever bother with anything, I just dealt with it because it wasn't that annoying most of the time, so I can't tell you what works for that. 

 

I can see all the reasons you would be worried about this. The fact that she seems to only do it while on her period would eliminate at least one worry, for me, anyway.

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Posted

Thank you Indigo and Emperor. I guess the question was exactly what you answered.  Is it alright?

 

It sounds like it is fine.  I will swallow my objections and just try to get her to let me treat the area.  sigh.....

 

this teenager parenting is getting harder and harder, but wonderful as well.  I get to inhale the second-hand delight from her 8th grade romance.  She got all dressed up for valentines day and he gave her flowers and drew her a really cool picture of a heart.  I never ever had a valentines day as a kid that included a day at school where I actually had a boyfriend. 

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Posted (edited)

whoa

I am a little shocked.

I would freak if I discovered my 13 year old daughter was shaving her pubic area.

 

It is bizarre that this sexualized aspect of pop culture has influenced junior high girls.

I know I have had friends, adult married women,

who shave there for sexual variety - but for me it brings to mind

pole dancers and vegas show girls.

however I think it really a matter of personal preference, personal grooming

 

in the summer I shave my legs below the knees,under my arms, and a tiny touch up

on the upper thigh if I am going to wear a swim suit.

 

In the winter I don't shave at all.  I seem to have less hair as I age.

 

so my question is, if no partner is seeing that vulva area then why does she want to shave it??

 

what is the the image in her mind of an adult woman?  Is it hairless?

 I would explore this topic in depth with my daughter.

does she think this is good grooming or does she think this is sexy??

Edited by bpladybug

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Posted (edited)

whoa

I am a little shocked.

I would freak if I discovered my 13 year old daughter was shaving her pubic area.

 

It is bizarre that this sexualized aspect of pop culture has influenced junior high girls.

I know I have had friends, adult married women,

who shave there for sexual variety - but for me it brings to mind

pole dancers and vegas show girls.

however I think it really a matter of personal preference, personal grooming

Edited by Indigo 'n dye

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Posted

FWIW I read an article recently that mentioned that 80% of females under 30 engage in some kind of grooming of the pubic area.  She's likely imitating what she's seen in the locker room or something.

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Posted

Water, you should also look into the issue of African-Americans and shaving.  I have a vague memory of a friend in college telling me that his beard was so curly that he got ingrown hairs all the time and they would get infected and sore.  I assume your girl can avoid this if she has a really sharp razor, but you might want to investigate how to treat those ingrown hairs.  Maybe that's why she's getting bumps.

 

A dermatologist might be able to steer you toward a cream or something that would help her with the bumps.

 

olga

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Posted

Water, you should also look into the issue of African-Americans and shaving.  I have a vague memory of a friend in college telling me that his beard was so curly that he got ingrown hairs all the time and they would get infected and sore.  I assume your girl can avoid this if she has a really sharp razor, but you might want to investigate how to treat those ingrown hairs.  Maybe that's why she's getting bumps.

 

A dermatologist might be able to steer you toward a cream or something that would help her with the bumps.

 

olga

that is a good point

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Posted

Hi! Mid-20s woman here!

The vast majority of folks younger than me (so... Late teens) shave EVERYthing. Pubic region completely and totally included.

Fuck yeah lots of them say that it is cleaner for the rag (likely true if you're using pads especially at night - I use a cup which is much less messy). I guess it's true. But when all the mags say that sex is better if you're clean-shaven (okay, maybe that doesn't apply for another few years, but... It will) then yes the kids will do that.

Also, if she has ingrown hairs then give her her options: to stop shaving, or to deal with it has been suggested plus exfoliation and stuff. Fwiw I have heard about mothers who start their daughters on pubic waxing regimens the first hair that shows up. Your daughter is doing what they all do these days. If the ingrowns are too much she can learn to use her scissors and to appreciate the trimmed look instead. But few of her peers will, so if that happens you'll have to be able to shore her up as a crazy hippy feminist.

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Posted (edited)

;

Edited by Cacia

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Posted

I started shaving everything when I was a young teenager as well, probably around the same age as your daughter.  I can tell you that it was not for sexual reasons or even hygiene purposes.  It was simply that I did not like (and still do not like) any type of body hair.  It's a personal preference for me, as well as for a lot of females.  Your daughter may be included in this. 

 

As far as STD's and women being seen in clinics sans pubic hair.. The two are not mutually exclusive.  Many women shave their nether regions prior to a gynecological exam because it makes them feel better about the whole awkward appointment.  Having shaved nether parts doesn't mean you sleep around, or make you any more prone to sexually transmitted infections.

 

So, moving forward.. it may freak you out that your daughter is so young and wanting to remove her body hair.  However, it doesn't matter what you want.  She's going to do what she wants, regardless of how you feel about her personal grooming.  The only thing you can do is to help her.  Provide her with information and quality products, fresh razors, etc.

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Posted

I vastly prefer having that area waxed, but it costs too much and I stink at doing it myself, so I got myself a combination trimmer/razor instead.  I don't like shaving there because it gets all prickly when it's coming back in, but I do keep it very well-trimmed.  I do find that it's easier to keep clean around period-time if I don't have a lot of hair.

 

A good astringent will help a lot with the little bumps.  Witch hazel is an excellent one and not too expensive.  She might also want to use a scrub in that area just before she shaves.

 

When I look back at my childhood, I remember my mom flipping out about a lot of things that weren't actually a big deal.  The result was that I was afraid to tell her anything because I didn't want to have to calm her down and convince her that my academic and professional future was not, in fact, in jeopardy just because I got a B- on a test.  Not exaggerating there.  You can feel any way you want to feel, but maybe don't react too strongly in front of your daughter.  Try to respond calmly and she'll probably be more forthcoming.

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Posted

I used to use nair to the nether region, even though it is not recommended and most humans would get chemical burns, just proves I am an android or something cause it never phased me and was much easier than shaving.  Not recommeded unless you daughter is an android or some type of robot, though!

 

These days I think my SO is gonna send out a search party to locate my clitoris, as it is so damn hairy down there! 

 

No way is shaving related to strippers or STDs or whores.  I know it wasn't the thing to do when we were younger, but times have changed and pussys are naked now.  It also makes it smell less when you haven't showered in two weeks (tmi?)

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Posted

BTW, the article I read mentioned than a fairly large potion of males under 30 are bald now too (40%)?

 

I'm all about some body hair, but to each their own.

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Posted

Maybe next time you're at the gyno you can ask them the percent shaven that they see, and the corresponding ages of the patients. 

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Posted

wow lol

this is really an eye opener

ha ha  

that you all for sharing, I had no idea.....

sorry if I offended anyone with my stripper/pole dancer reference

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Posted

I think it's a good sign that she told you.  I don't think my daughter shaves except her underarms.  But, she's really private.  She has an electric shaver. 

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Posted

Yeah, young people nowadays tend to be "against" pubic hair.

 

It could be a personal preference for her, but frankly, I suspect that she does it mostly because all of her girl friends do it, and she doesn't want to stand out. Adolescence is a difficult period for most people, and the need for acceptance (and the fear of bullying!) is strong.

 

And it is a very good sign that she told you.

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Posted

I suspect multiple factors, perhaps. As in, the influence from her peers, and more personal reasons such as a desire for cleanliness or ease of such.

I gre up being bullied but girls in the locker room at that age were some of the worst. Thanks to my family tree and possible hormonal differences, let's just say that I am rather, ah, gifted in the realm of the fuzz. For many years I essentially removed most everything from the neck down, and I even used to remove and draw on my eyebrows. I did find things I personally prefer about that state, but some of the initial influence was peer related.

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Posted

I don't shave anything, but I'm a "crazy hippie", I guess.

 

Also, I firmly believe it increases the chance of STD transmission mainly because of microscopic cuts.  That just seems like common sense to me, but those links are highly educated women (a medical doctor and someone with a Ph.D. in Biophysics) who state the (apparently no longer common sense) fact that removing pubic hair, especially when the hair starts coming back ingrown, is effectively creating a direct route from a moist and warm bacterial haven directly into the body and bloodstream.

 

I just...  no.  I wouldn't press an open wound against someone else's open wound and that's basically what happens when two people with shaven genitalia have sex, especially because any hair growth that does exist is going to chafe and physical activity will cause any cuts to open further.  Yeah, most cuts are tiny.  No, you can't necessarily see it.  It's still happening.

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Posted (edited)

Thank you EVERYONE for the replies.  I was on vacay and determined not to use the computer.

 

Briefly, the next morning I went into my girls room and apologized for losing it about the shaving.  I told her it was her body and she could do what she wanted with her hair.  However, she should stop shaving areas, for a while at least, where she is getting razor burns.  I gave her the tea tree oil and she used it immediately, which was unusual for her.  Normally she totally disregards my suggestions until later.   I also said I would prefer her not to shave her pubic area but would really be upset if she shaved her arm hair. 

 

Thank you Olga for the remark about african american hair.  I totally forgot that it was her textured hair that caused so many razor burns.  Told my girl this and she nodded her head.

 

SYS: Yay!! I am not the only one who doesn't shave at all.   Those articles are great.  I knew it wasn;t coming from left field, the idea that completely shaving may not be good.

 

WinterRosie:  Now I know - Ladybug and I are in the minority here.  who knew? I am getting her some pube trimming scissors if I can figure out where to buy them.  And the burns are all healed after the tea tree oil.  I don't think I will suggest waxing until she asks me.  It is too early.  too early for me too. :-}

 

Cacia: Dull Razor - definitely the problem.  YOu're right. And yes!  she is probably shaving the wrong way.  I might find her a Youtube video to watch. She has great boundaries so I only see a flash of the bumps.  Thank you for the instructions!

 

 

off to an echocardiagram. finish later.  but thank you so much everyone again.

Edited by water

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Posted

So glad that she took this without blowing up at you, and that you were able to be supportive! Whew! I was worried :/

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Posted

well WHEW!

you got through the shaving situation

I feel relieved for you  lol   :)

 

shaving her arms???  you mean the tops of her arms  :huh:

your girl is anti hair...... :cool:

except for the hair she straightens

 

mezi was over last night and I had to totally restrain myself from asking

about her position on shaving.............that would have been inappropriate

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Posted

So glad that she took this without blowing up at you, and that you were able to be supportive! Whew! I was worried :/

 

me too. somehow I picked the exact right moment when she was calm and able to listen and the apology just tumbled out of me. now I have to talk to her again (!).  not today. 

 

shaving her arms???  you mean the tops of her arms  :huh:

 

Yes!  the tops of the arms. that lovely soft sexy hair that should never be shaved. My gf waxes the tops of her arms.  I'm just a hairy beast. It was a big joke in my family whether or not I would shave my legs for the wedding.

 

 

Soprano: Witch hazel is a great idea, and scrubbing first.

 

scatty - I cracked up when reading about the search party sent to locate your clit.  hee hee.  I am proud to say that after decades of not shaving my public hair is a nice brazilian triangle.

 

confused - it IS a good sign she told me.  It was brief with lots of hand flapping.

 

Artemisia - emailed a cousin who is in the midst of total coolness.  She started out the reply with 'brace yourself'.  Apparently, the Majority of women shave everywhere.  Though it IS losing some cache.

 

Miron - my start at shaving was definitely peer influenced. I was mortifyingly teased in the cafeteria line in first grade by Scott W.  What a jerk.  He made fun of my hairy legs and arms.  At that time I liked my hair.   Then it became the enemy. Particularly my moustache.

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