New here. Diagnosed major depression. After my last hospitalization I started to feel anxious around my child and I feel horrible. I'm at an assisted living house and get to visit every weekend. Going to see my son creates so much anxiety and I develop this lump in my throat that won't go away. It's not like my child misbehaves or anything. He is on the spectrum and I don't know how to just simply play with him because as a teacher it has always been somewhat structured. I feel horrible for feeling anxiety over my own son.
I bought a bottle of CBD water soluble solution to help with anxiety, but I think I suffer more with depression currently. Any others out there trying just about anything for help? I'm even considering getting a medical marijuana card and some marijuana for my depression and lack of motivation here in Florida. The process isn't cheap though and I don't want to bother unless I can hear from some trusted folks that it can help. I am first trying the CBD oil since it is legal due to not containing any THC. I would be interested in a discussion on these topics. I am surprised these aren't already topics here. I am at my wits end trying to find a fucking AD that works.
By Fluent In Silence
I'm a better person when I'm drunk. I know this isn't a good way to think but it's probably true. The reason is that I can't stand myself when I'm sober, and in order to be able to offer anything to another person you need to believe that you have something to offer. One of the main reasons for hating myself is the depression and the life it's made me lead. Self harm scars and the countless times I've thought about killing myself. It's always been a part of me but it's a part that I don't want to accept. But shutting out a part of yourself makes you feel like you aren't a real person, and you can't just shut out the bad, it's all or nothing and if you shut yourself off from misery then you also shut yourself off from happiness.
Self acceptance and self compassion have always sounded like good ideas. Here's a story. When I was very young I started cutting myself and my parents eventually found out. Not the best response from them. Didn't stop cutting but learnt that I'm a freak and no-one will understand or love me for being this way. If your parents won't offer you kindness and compassion then why would anyone else? Oh poor little me. But it set a pattern. It's wrong to feel like this and no-one will love you if you do. I'm older now and I realise how shit my parents were, but I can't say that I've got over this feeling.
Release the drunken Kraken! When me and the monster are drunk enough we can get along and I can feel like a complete human being for a while. I'm sure that many people have had much more traumatic lives than me, but there's so much that I don't want to remember.
I’ve been dealing with an episode of anxiety and depression since the beginning of January. Despite having had some similar episodes in the early 2000s, I was anxiety and depression free from 2008 until January.
I have increase my Paxil dose to 40mg (I was on 30mg for the last 10 years) and I’ve added Lamictal. Just gotten up to the 100 mg range 3 days ago, so hopefully I will balance out soon!
In my quest to feel better and get my life back on track, I started researching additional options and came across TMS. I had a consultation and managed to convince my insurance to cover 36 visits (yay!). I had my first visit to get set up on March 5th and then went on vacation. I felt quite a bit better throughout March so I decided to delay starting TMS. Unfortunately the anxiety and depression has returned.
I start TMS on Monday. They only had one appointment for me next week, though they said they’ll probably get some cancellations, but I’d love to hear from anyone who’s done this and who can share their experience. I’m not afraid of the treatment, just that it won’t help. Did you go 5 days a week? My doctor says between 2 and 3 days a week will have the same effect. I’ve read some stories on here, but they’re all a couple years old, so I’m hoping for some more recent accounts. Thank you in advance!!
In January of this year I woke up with a panic attack completely out of the blue. Despite several episodes of anxiety and depression in my 20s, my last episode was back in 2008! At that time I went through a year or so of therapy, committed to staying on 30mg of Paxil, and I never looked back. I honestly would have said I was cured! The panic attack led to a period of anxiety that lasted right through February. I upped the Paxil to 40mg and worked with a psychiatrist who suggested adding Lamictal. We started at 25mg for 2 weeks, 50mg for 2 weeks, and then 75mg. I started noticing a positive difference at about a week on 75mg. A few days later, the anxiety and depression just lifted! It was like I had my life back. For nearly a month I felt great, and believed the Lamictal must have made the difference. Unfortunately, it didn't last.
About a week ago something minor triggered anxiety in me, and again it has lasted! My psychiatrist recommended going up to 100mg of Lamictal, so I started that two days ago. My question is, does lamictal work and then wear off if it's not at the right level? Has anyone had success with an SSRI and lamictal for anxiety and depression, not related to bipolar disorder? Can anyone offer advice on how to keep the faith with these medication changes, or how to overcome anxiety? Looking for others who get it, and want to help!