8 posts in this topic
Hi I have just joined here out of desperation. It's a long story but feeling as if I can't carry on at the moment.
I had severe post natal anxiety, insomnia and depression 10 days after giving birth 4 years ago.
was put on mirtazapine 45mg which got me back to myself for a year.
I tried to go on contraceptive pills microgynon and loestrin both of which sent me spiralling back into the worst depression.
Stopped these and couldn't really get over the hormone problems so added venlafaxine 37.5mg to mirtazapine which worked great for a year.
Since December 2015 I have had to increase my venlafaxine 5 times so now I'm on the top dosage of both venlafaxine and mirtazapine.
My relapses always happen 10 days before my period and I get so bad I can't even function and have suicidal thoughts so I have to increase my tablets.
I am 4 days in to my last increase and 5 days before my period and I just can't cope. My doctor has given me a prescription for a progesterone only mini pill, he has said to take this after my period so middle of next month when I'm feeling better but I am PETRIFIED that it will make me even worse and I can't increase my anti depressants. I honestly feel if this gets any worse I will have to hospitalise myself as I am so tired of fighting this awful thing and it never gets better.
I have cervical erosion since the birth of my daughter and had this frozen two months ago and since this my last two periods have been hell and I feel as if I'm having a breakdown. My GP says this procedure wouldn't have affected my hormone levels.
I also take supplements Agnus castus, vitamin B6, magnesium, calcium, vitamin d, evening primrose oil, vitamin b complex food supplement and exercise when I am feeling well.
I just don't know what to do anymore should I take this contraceptive pill? If anyone has any experience or advice please please contact me I am desperate.
I doubt anyone cares about this but I feel the need to get it off my chest because it's something that bothers the absolute crap out of me in relationships:
I have very little patience for other people who have a diagnosis themselves that they leave untreated because "they don't need help," and therefore alllllll of my depression and panic issues are the fault of everything that happens in a relationship.
I've been in and out of so much therapy, been on so many meds, and I'm still depressed AF and I've just learned to live with it and use whatever coping skills I have. About 5 months ago, I started dating someone who briefly mentioned he had an OCD diagnosis, and I won't get into details because I know this is a first-person site -- but he swears to all that is good and holy that he does not need "help," including medication or therapy.
All I will say about that is that that's not completley accurate.
He did finally medicate and it gave me hope because he was like a new person for a while, and I don't want to blame ALL of his downfalls on his diagnosis -- a lot of it is simply his personality and I know that our brains just don't work the same way. What he finds comforting and the ways in which he finds "order" and control in his life just come off as controlling, jerk-like, and quite honestly lately I think we're just making each other worse.
It sucks because there is a LOT I like about him but I'm over the nagging, the walking on eggshells, the stumbling, the struggle with my own issues and his lack of ability to see how what he's doing is hurtful to me.
I'm sad, but I'm also irritated and angry and exhausted. I've tried as hard as I can to be empathetic and put myself in his shoes but I'm just not able to. I noticed he ran out of meds the other day for his blood pressure, which he admits makes him grumpy as HELL, and he hasn't refilled them. If he were to fine out that *I* did not refill a med I needed -- all hell would break loose.
I'm over it and I can't believe I even endured this as long as I did. Everything I do is inferior, done wrong, in the middle of dinner conversation he interrupts me to say "eat your salad, sweetie," and things that sound like they're "caring" but really just come across as a nice fat "STFU I'm tired of listening to you talk."
We have so many bizarre rules and junk to just go about daily life that I think it's actually making my depression and my ANXIETY more difficult to cope with. Oy.
I think I'm done with relationsihps, and just need to save up for a butler for companionship and help with the chores.
Anyone been on Nardil or other MAOIs? I'm not real excited about the diet and potential side effects but I'm willing to try anything at this point.
I've tried tons of ADs, AAPs, mood stabilizers, just about everything except tricyclics, plus a failed round of TMS. Really hoping Nardil is the answer.
any experiences or tips are appreciated!
Hi! Long time no talk. At 43, I've experienced hypomania maybe 4 times in my life. I've only recently understood what it is, and whenever it has happened in the past I've always thought I'd found the "answer" to my depression, whether it was starting a new antidepressant or some very exciting event in my life. For example, late last year I became open for the first time about being curious about guys dressed as women, or guys with an androgynous, feminine look. It's a long story, but I became hypomanic because being open about this and exploring it for the first time was very exciting. Not realizing what was happening, I thought that "coming out" about this (I mostly like women, probably 95% of guys do nothing for me, but that other 5%... LOL) cured my depression. I know about the risk taking, the overconfidence, the questionable judgment. But to me that's a small price to pay for how much I believe I could accomplish in life if I could feel this way all, or even a lot of the time.
Anyway, I've since read about something called the "hyperthymic temperament". These people are just naturally hypomanic, rather than just a state that lasts for a couple weeks. I've read the claim that Prozac turns some people hyperthymic. Hyperthymic is more permanent than hypomanic, and that's what I'm interested in, something permanent or at least frequent. So, my question is: has anyone become hyperthymic from taking Prozac? Again, I'm asking about a persistent change, not just a state that lasted a few weeks and then you crashed. Thanks.
This is my first post on this board. I was diagnosed and treated for bipolar 1 from 2002-2015. Last year I went off medication, and have been med free since Oct 2015. I went off because I believed the medication was hurting me more than helping and making me sicker. I felt I had nothing to lose.
As a result, I regained mental clarity but had one long mania cycle and I am now in a very depressed cycle which is difficult to.endure.
I am very depressed from stress but mostly from the fact that I now see clearly how my bipolar has wrecked havoc in my life. I am seeing it clearly for the first time and I am accepting it.
I am 52, divorced with 3 kids. My oldest doesn't talk to me at all, my middle has some communication, getting better and now my daughter 13 doesnt speak to me. The alienation creates severe feelings of pain for me. I have hurt them and their mother and this is my reality.
Their mother has played my mental illness against me in the divorce and has sought to alienate me from my children. She has provoked confrontations with me, has had me arreated and has played the victim to the hilt. I now have several court motions to addressential with her on house and alimony and alienation issues.
There is nothing more painful than not having a relationship with your kids.
Because of the massive losses, caused mostly by mania, I am now willing to accept treatment for my bipolar again. I am very afraid of medications that sedate me, make me lose my memory and effect my body weight. I do not trust psychiatrists, pharma, or medication. But I need help.
I am a lost soul right now trying to find my tribe and get direction.
My parents are supportive and a few friends but I have lost nearly all my relationships to my craziness and disorder. I had substance abuse problems as well but have been sober now for almost a year.
I hope to hear from some of you that there is hope, that one can get through massive depression and pain as well as mania and find meaning and purpose in life.
I really need to connect with people that are managing this illness well and might understand. I am powerless over my bipolar and my life is unmanageable. Thank you.