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Ideation

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Posted

I experience what seem to be psychotic ideations.  Often when I'm in a state of psychosis, I believe that people driving by my house are spying on me, or that people who make insulting jokes in Internet demotivators are speaking directly to me, or something else equally paranoid and bizarre; but the belief only lasts for a few minutes and doesn't evolve into an actual delusion.  Is this a common feature of psychosis?  It's not mentioned in the Wikipedia article on psychosis or any other source I can find.  I've seen mention of delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thinking, and catatonia, but not ideation.  I wonder what other people experience.

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Posted

I experience this fairly often, but less so since my meds have been upped. 

 

For example, I had a moment a few days ago where I was walking through the tunnels at school and suddenly everyone was staring at me and I thought they were stealing my thoughts through eye contact. I became extremely paranoid about this. It only lasted a few minutes, but it was intense. Eventually I calmed down and reality checked myself. 

 

My pdoc calls this "paranoid ideation." I think it's officially called an 'idea of reference.' Does this sound familiar? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ideas_of_reference_and_delusions_of_reference

 

Like I said, my meds being upped has really helped with this. Maybe you need a med tweak? Otherwise, it's good to have methods for grounding yourself when this happens. I usually reassure myself that it's impossible for people to steal thoughts. It's definitely hard to reality check yourself though, so I rely heavily on my boyfriend to tell me when I'm talking crazy. 

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Posted

I have a bit of this as well I think. Such as the time when I was on the bus and I thought everyone on the bus was working undercover for MI5 and spying on me, but when I got off the bus everything was ok again. I don't know if it is an anxiety thing or a psychosis thing though, or it could be a bit of both. It hasn't happened often enough that I've bothered talking about it with my pdoc.

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Posted

Hi, this is my first post..

 

I didn't know what this was called but ideas and thoughts of reference are the most elevated symptoms of my case. I think that everyone, not just people who are diagnosed, come and go on a cycle of being "recognised." The ones who function on a healthy basis, are capable to maintain this reality not to affect them too much..They somehow are able to cope, or to come to terms with it. When I am on the street, and where I live is quite crowded, I have to come to terms with my own reality, most of the time for this not to affect my senses up to a point in which it would exhaust me. 

I do know that it is a symptom for your thoughts to be heard, or to be talked about or for someone to arrest your positive thinking and insert a virus or a bad thought, it happens to me everyday. Sometimes I try to be humble about it, sometimes I get angry, sometimes I hear myself commenting, or shouting but even though I don't say anything they still do hear me, and behave accordingly to my pattern of thoughts and feelings. I reckon there is a pattern under this, as it replicates itself under certain circumstances with the same actors, but I cannot see it. I blame the rise of nationality where I live, the politics of relationships, shame, guilt, all sorts of intellectual scapegoating you name it, I have it.

I have been diagnosed and on medication for fourteen years, only to believe that schizophrenia cannot be cured or that it doesn't even exist. It is a condition, a very sad one. Sadly, the ones to understand the mad are the madmen. 

Though I feel like my mind makes this all up, so that I can turn away the mirror facing me. And when I listen carefully to the voices, or to people I imagine talking about me, there is something very real in which they are pointing out to, behind all the games and the mockeries, and lies about me they make up. Something resentful and maybe disgusting about myself, the very injustice that I am being put through, they have to go though it as well.

 

Regards.

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Posted

I go thru this, too. I think people are trying to read my mind if they are too clost to me on my left side but once the are further away the thoughts go away n they aren't always there. I gotta be in a certain frame of mind to feel that level of skull vulnurability. I also sometimes think I'm being watched or monitored or spied on n feel this intensely but in sporatic n spaced spurts. But I'm always on guard passively.

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Posted

I get the ideas of reference thing as well. Usually it is people talking about me or people laughing at me.

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Posted

I used to make loose associations where I would think unrelated items or co-incidences were related.  Connecting dots that aren't there.  And ideas of reference, When I was psychotic they would turn into delusions.  Now, that I'm more stable I occasionally have a brief thought that someone is talking directly to me and trying to send me a message, but I'm able to think it through.  I think of it more as a breakthrough symptom that my meds can't completely control.

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Posted

I always used to think rule changes in work were about me, too. I always took that shit personally.

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Posted

I get the whole ideas of reference too. Like that was totally meant for me only and at me for real! When in reality hell it was meant to be for millions.

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