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CookieN

Visual and auditory hallucinations

15 posts in this topic

When you first had visual and/or auditory hallucinations what did you think they were?


Currently, what do you think your visual and/or auditory hallucinations really are?

 

In relation to the voices/hallucinations who do you think these people are?


Do you know these people?  If not, why do you think they talk to you?


What do you think happens in the brain to produce these voices, hallucinations?


Did your mind invent these voices, tone of voice, gender?


Why do you think these voices have these particular tone of voice, gender?  And not a different one?



 

Edited by CookieN

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Lots of questions, Cookie! May I ask why you have so many detailed questions?

 

When you first had visual and/or auditory hallucinations what did you think they were?

 

I thought my eyes were going funny on me. I originally started out seeing sparkles everywhere. I had an eye exam and everything turned up normal. When I heard voices (I very rarely hear voices), I thought real people were talking to me. As in, I thought someone real and near me said something. Turned out I'm just crazy. I also thought/think the visual hallucinations are the sun trying to communicate with me. The sun sends the sparkles through windows to communicate His messages to me, mainly telling me to kill myself. I held this belief more strongly in the past. 

Currently, what do you think your visual and/or auditory hallucinations really are?

 

I think they're hallucinations. A part of me still believes that the sparkles are the sun trying to communicate with me. The sun may be God. I'm not sure. It's been very hard for me to give up this delusion. I'm not sure it is a delusion, because it felt so real. I also experience thought insertion, which feels incredibly real. So... I'm not sure where I stand. Part of me believes it's a hallucination, part of me believes it's real. 

 

In relation to the voices/hallucinations who do you think these people are?

 

My voices that I've heard were just random voices. 

Do you know these people?  If not, why do you think they talk to you?

 

No, I don't know the voices personally. 

What do you think happens in the brain to produce these voices, hallucinations?

 

I think there is an excess of the neurotransmitter dopamine, primarily. Basically, I think psychosis is caused by the brain going all screwy. 

Did your mind invent these voices, tone of voice, gender?

 

Yes, my mind invented the voices, they are not people I know.

Why do you think these voices have these particular tone of voice, gender?  And not a different one?

 

I have no idea. I think the voices I've heard were just randomly concocted by my brain, with no special meaning behind it whatsoever. The visual hallucinations on the other hand, they do have special meaning. Well, I think so. I'm confused about it. 

 

I realize I sound utterly crazy.

Edited by Parapluie

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Do you have any answers?  I don't have hallucinations anymore, but this is what I remember

 

 

 

When you first had visual and/or auditory hallucinations what did you think they were?

 

I thought people were hiding behind walls so I couldn't see them but I could hear them.  I don't think I had many visual hallucinations but I thought they were real to mock me, teach me or make a point

Currently, what do you think your visual and/or auditory hallucinations really are?

 

Hmmm. Logically I think they were hallucinations, but a part of me thinks some of it was real

 

In relation to the voices/hallucinations who do you think these people are?

 

I hear voices of people I have known in the past. Like family members,, tdoc, pdoc, old friends

Do you know these people?  If not, why do you think they talk to you?

 

Yes, I know them.  I think it was for research at first and then they started to like me and were sort of playing with me.

What do you think happens in the brain to produce these voices, hallucinations?

 

I have no idea

Did your mind invent these voices, tone of voice, gender?

 

No, I guess I'm not that creative

Why do you think these voices have these particular tone of voice, gender?  And not a different one?

 

That's the way the people irl talked.

Edited by confused

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When you first had visual and/or auditory hallucinations what did you think they were?

"People" talking to me, just with no one around.  At the time, even though I'd never before experienced something like it, it felt natural to answer them for some reason so I did.  It wasn't until afterwards some time that I wondered about why there were there.  But I heard them as if people were talking to me in the room, even getting visual cues (pictures in my mind of whomever was talking to me, where the were, etc) and at first I answered them back out loud.  I learned to answer them by thinking to them, but when I first started "hearing" them, they would just talk as if someone was with me and my parents were the first to wonder wtf (who) I was talking to and would ask "who are you talking to?" and I'd say "Do you see anyone sitting here?"  I thought it was something only a few people knew how to do (think to one another as a ways to communicate).

Currently, what do you think your visual and/or auditory hallucinations really are?

I know they are hallucinations now, not real, but there is still a part of me that sees some truth to them.

 

In relation to the voices/hallucinations who do you think these people are?

When I was hallucinating i thought they were the person (whomever it was) irl thinking to me, or cryptically through music.

Do you know these people?  If not, why do you think they talk to you?

Yes, I know 99% of the people irl, and just thought they could do what I did, so we all communicated that way.  No phones etc, just thinking/through music.

What do you think happens in the brain to produce these voices, hallucinations?

No idea.  The brain is too complex to really understand how they happen.

Did your mind invent these voices, tone of voice, gender?

No, nothing was invented (ie people i didn't know/had heard of).  They were all real life people.

Why do you think these voices have these particular tone of voice, gender?  And not a different one?

That is who they are irl.

 

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When you first had visual and/or auditory hallucinations what did you think they were?

I had my first auditory hallucination when I was about five years old. Its hard to explain what it was to me as it was not  an imaginary friend--he was a real person to me, and he, the Commander, is the same voice from when I was five. My first visual hallucination was sometime in high school. I had thought it was aura but it was not. It was some pretty serious hallucinations.

Currently, what do you think your visual and/or auditory hallucinations really are?

I know they are hallucinations but I see my main voices as real people who I interact with, my other miscellaneous auditory hallucinations to be like animals or people trapped inside of walls trying to get out, and the things I see are a combination of my aura, eye damage and just really awful hallucinations. I mean, my hallucinations are so troubling I don't understand how I can even do basic things like cross the street.

 

In relation to the voices/hallucinations who do you think these people are?

I have three internal auditory hallucinations. Abraham (who looks like Abraham Lincoln but is not), the Commander, and the Female. The Female is a girl who tries to control me through my negative feelings of myself. The Commander has been ordering me around since I was five years old to purge, cut, drink, smoke, and basically self-destruct. Abraham is one of the sweetest people I have ever met and I do not want him to leave ever. We write letters to each other (he reads his aloud to me and I write mine out physically in a journal) and we watches out for me.

Do you know these people?  If not, why do you think they talk to you?

I have known the Commander for most of my life. His voice is very similar to my father's, and even though I no longer hear my father's voice or the Commander's voice in my head very often, when I do, I do tend to become very self-destructive. The Female became apparent in my life during my high school years as I battled self-esteem issues when dealing with racial and financial issues at school. I competed with other girls to be the most prettiest and most richest and there was no way I could be both and the Female capitalized on my failures in high school. And Abraham coddles me. He showed up in my college years to protect me as I had only one friend outside my roommate and needed someone to confide in. We are now writing a book together.

What do you think happens in the brain to produce these voices, hallucinations?

Um, I take 26 pills a day, and I have been taking atleast 10 pills a day since I was five years old to control medical conditions of all types. I think my brain and body is going out.

Did your mind invent these voices, tone of voice, gender?

No. They all derive from a voice that exists in real life.

Why do you think these voices have these particular tone of voice, gender?  And not a different one?

Because only certain memories can invoke certain memories. Does that make sense?

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Damn dude! i'll try to answer these:

 

When you first had visual and/or auditory hallucinations what did you think they were?

I thought they were people around me, talking shit. and my neighbors, through the walls. in the car, i had no idea. i had thoughts of people stalking me. planting devices in my home and vehicle. at work, i would get up from my cubicle to try to find them. i thought two of them might have been someone i knew, trying to prod me into a healthier way of expressing my feelings for people. i'm not entirely sure wtf i was thinking. after a while, i figured no one could really go out of their way to fuck with me like this, and i was in hell from it. i wanted to die, just to make them stop.

Currently, what do you think your visual and/or auditory hallucinations really are?

I can't shake the feeling of hearing others' thoughts in my head. i know its irrational though. but knowing of certain research done by various governments keeps me fairly paranoid.
 

In relation to the voices/hallucinations who do you think these people are?

people who hate me. i don't know who they are. i thought i did. but it couldn't be those people. i began thinking maybe they were spirits, or someone out there sharing thoughts with me.


Do you know these people?  If not, why do you think they talk to you?

i don't know. i thought someone was trying to get me out of my shell. somehow. they don't talk to me. just about me.


What do you think happens in the brain to produce these voices, hallucinations?

hmm. good question. surely the areas responsible for processing language and sound are active somehow. i think. kooky.


Did your mind invent these voices, tone of voice, gender?

i don't know why my mind would do this, they're certainly not helpful. and can be distressing at times. maybe my mind likes mindfucks. o.O


Why do you think these voices have these particular tone of voice, gender?  And not a different one?

i've never pondered this. well, sort of. mine are all male, except one female voice that jokingly calls the others evil. maybe it has something to do with my slight aversion of the male gender. or intimacy. certain situations make me uncomfortable. as such, i have never been intimate with anyone.

 

this is quite an interesting topic. i'd also like to know where all the questions came from?

Edited by figment

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When I started to hear voices, I just got thru coming down of mdma. I heard...Pils...in a loud voice...I thought it was my roommate and then I started to get very paranoid.....I started to hear voices when I was walking around OKC thinking about how I fear I gave my ex HIV and I would hear her voice like she was tided up and about to be murdered. You know honestly I don't know what I was thinking. My psychosis came on slow but, fast at the same time.....I don't believe my voices mean anything now but, when I came out of the psychosis...I would always question whether that was God punishing me or someone put a voodoo spell on me..

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When you first had visual and/or auditory hallucinations what did you think they were?

Demons or some other negative spiritual presence.

Currently, what do you think your visual and/or auditory hallucinations really are?

Creatures from an alternative dimension. They aren't spiritual as I first thought. I think that there is more going on, something deeper. I accept them as hallucinations but I think that there are many explanations for the same experience, all of which are equally valid. These days I believe that the hallucinations will not harm me directly, even though their presence still scares me when they are around. I sense their presence quite a lot even though they are being quiet / not physically there.

 

In relation to the voices/hallucinations who do you think these people are?

The Ringleader has an identity that I have gotten to know since I met him. The others are just random voices. They are likely all creatures from another dimension. Though why they came to me I don't know, even though I have my suspicions. The Ringleader works very closely with my evil relative.

Do you know these people?  If not, why do you think they talk to you?

I know the Ringleader, but not the others. I don't know why they choose to talk to me other than just to scare me. I believe that if I stay in control then the worst they can do is scare me.

What do you think happens in the brain to produce these voices, hallucinations?

Sleep deprivation. Stress.

Did your mind invent these voices, tone of voice, gender?

No.

Why do you think these voices have these particular tone of voice, gender?  And not a different one?

Don't know.

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Hi everyone, hope you are all keeping well, I am new to this forum I have been lurking for the last six months or so and finally decided to sign up. I have gained great insight from your answers.  :) To answer your questions Op.

 

When you first had visual and/or auditory hallucinations what did you think they were?

 

I had my first auditory hallucination when I was about 19. I was in college and I was getting a glass of water and I heard someone call my name, I looked around and no one was calling me. I thought the voice calling me was a mystical soul mate connection I had to a friend that she could call me in my mind, it was "fantastical thinking". In the beginning I had visual hallucinations of my skin turning into insects and floating hearts. Visual hallucinations now are very rare. I haven't had one in two years.I also had the aura experience. I could see white light around friends. That was my first experience with psychosis. Hope that helps answer your first question Op.

 

 

Currently, what do you think your visual and/or auditory hallucinations really are?
It's easy when your in a crisis state to think that the auditory hallucinations are real. I am always tricked by them when I am in crisis to believe they are real. However when I am in recovery I know they are a symptom of too much dopamine in my brain.
 
In relation to the voices/hallucinations who do you think these people are?
The really distressing voice was a female who had passed away chastising me about the awful life I was living. (When I wasn't living a bad life at all) She would call me, consistently giving out to me, it made me have very low self esteem. I must be a deeply lonely person because the next voice who has been in my head for five years is a man I fancied and he would romance me with his words, saying we were going to meet up at such a place and such a time etc etc but last year he said I had ruined him and he would hang himself (which was obviously very distressing). 
 
Do you know these people?  If not, why do you think they talk to you?
Yes I know all of the people in real life. I have never had a voice that I didn't know. I used to think that they talked to me on different frequencies or waves (like Radio) that other people couldn't hear.
 
What do you think happens in the brain to produce these voices, hallucinations?
When I was young and naive I used to think it was the self breaking down. Now I'm more inclined to think it is a chemical firing squad in my brain that has to be curtailed by anti-psychotic drugs. 
 
 
Did your mind invent these voices, tone of voice, gender?
Yes and No. The people who I know in real life have the same voices as the voices in my mind. One person who I met years ago I couldn't in all reality remember his real voice, so it must have been invented. 
 
Why do you think these voices have these particular tone of voice, gender?  And not a different one?
Somehow I was deeply invested in these people, both the woman and the two men, and had a deep emotional attachment to them. I have no explanation for why my voices didn't manifest as people I didn't know.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

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I was 9 years old when I first heard the voices, I remember not really knowing what they were but for awhile I thought other kids heard voices too. It wasn't until I got a little older that I realized it wasn't normal. The visual hallucinations started a few years after the voices, I remember thinking I was seeing spirits or something sinister and these really freaked me out for awhile.

I currently know (at least most of the time) that my hallucinations are just that - hallucinations. Sometimes I question that though, especially with the visuals because they are so unpleasant that sometimes I wonder if they are evil spirits or demons.

I don't really know who the voices/visuals are, the voices are two male and one female and they don't sound like anyone I know or have known. My visuals are rarely of people, the only one that's sort of a person is man with no face who dresses in a trenchcoat and hat.

I agree that the brain is complex and no one really knows 100% what causes hallucinations. I don't know if my mind invented the voices.

The last question is interesting to me, I'm not sure why I hear two male voices and one female. The two male voices are always saying horrible nasty things to me while the female voice (I call her the narrator) is mostly neutral. She just narrates everything I do like if I walk into the kitchen she says "You're walking into the kitchen, you're getting a drink" etc.

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Thank you so much
for taking your time to answer my questions, I really appreciate it.

 

It is curious that
in spite of knowing they are hallucinations, most of you still feel them as
real.

 

I see that for some
people the voices are from real people, and for others they are from people you
have never met.

 

For those who
mentioned that the voices are from people in real life, are these people dead
or alive? If they are alive, have you mentioned to these people (in real life) you
hear their voices when they are not there?


Interesting, that
many of us thought that they were evil spirits inserting thoughts in our minds.
Or witchery done. Or the self breaking in parts and parts taking their own personality.


Cfranco2: It is interesting that you mentioned the “people
trapped inside of walls trying to get out”. I had a dead relative whose “image”
I saw years later, entering and disappearing in a wall.

 

It is curious that
even the voices can have personalities, like the sweet person you mentioned.


Figment:  You asked where all
these questions came from? And my answer is, that after having experienced all
these “weird” things, I started to wonder, if everyone´s experience with
psychosis was similar to mine. I wanted to know if there were differences.


Enlightened Plutonian: I have thought something
similar to what you said “I accept them as hallucinations but I think that
there are many explanations for the same experience, all of which are equally
valid are likely all creatures from another dimension”


MorningsLight:  Super interesting what you said about “you
thinking that these people talked to you on different frequencies or waves,
other people couldn´t hear”.

 

I read once that excess dopamine, makes people more sensitive to perceive things.

So maybe that is what is happening, we are perceiving things from other dimensions,

or perceive frequencies that other people don´t. Who knows?


G8orgilrl: It must´ve been shocking to
realize that “normal” people didn´t hear voices after many years of thinking
that everyone did.


 

Edited by CookieN

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having instances where specific details of my dream happen the next day always leaves me doubting things. or when the voices alert me to something i couldn't have known, like who was going to walk down the hall when i get somewhere. *shrug* whooo knows??

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having instances where specific details of my dream happen the next day always leaves me doubting things. or when the voices alert me to something i couldn't have known, like who was going to walk down the hall when i get somewhere. *shrug* whooo knows??

 

Wow.  This has happened to me too. 

 

One example was that I was in Costco, and was "communicating" with one of my voices (who is also a person in real life, and I hear their voice), "asking" him which aisle my parents were in (I couldn't find them), and he "thought/said" "in the bread aisle." 

 

So I went to the bread aisle and there they were.  Now, Costco is a huge place, so it was a huge reality check that the voices were real.  I know now they aren't, but back then it really confirmed things for me.

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When you first had visual and/or auditory hallucinations what did you think they were?

 

My hallucinations are all internal, so I originally thought it was just a vivid imagination.  It started very slowly over the course of several years, so I didn't think much of it.  Then I found out that something in your imagination can be considered a hallucination as long as it seems real and you have no control over it.

 

Currently, what do you think your visual and/or auditory hallucinations really are?

 

I believe the auditory hallucinations are people communicating with me telepathically.  My visual hallucinations are mostly out-of-body experiences rather than things I see in my environment, so I think of them as my consciousness going to another place for a moment.

 

 

In relation to the voices/hallucinations who do you think these people are?

 

The God and Satan voices are God and Satan respectively.  The other voices, I have no idea.  They could be people living in my head, they could be real people elsewhere in the world, they could even be aliens for all I know.

 

Do you know these people?  If not, why do you think they talk to you?

 

Yes, but only in my head, not in real life.  I don't know why they talk to me.

 

What do you think happens in the brain to produce these voices, hallucinations?

 

Dopamine hitting the wrong receptors.

 

Did your mind invent these voices, tone of voice, gender?

 

Can't tell.

 

Why do you think these voices have these particular tone of voice, gender?  And not a different one?

 

I don't know why my voices all sound different other than that they're from different people.  When a voice says something to me, sometimes it's a male voice and sometimes it's a female voice, sometimes it's a deep voice and sometimes it's high-pitched, sometimes it's a raspy voice, sometimes it's a whisper.  I can't really explain it.

Edited by LordoftheMonkeys

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-When you first had visual and/or auditory hallucinations what did you think they were?

 

It was last December when I first heard the voice. I thought it was just the product of my imagination, or even a spirit in my home, but my imagination has never produced an outside source of sound, and I did not sense a presence, or a manifesting one, when I heard it first. Then I tried to excuse it as an intrusive thought, even though this voice was not my own, or anything that I've heard before.

 

 

-Currently, what do you think your visual and/or auditory hallucinations really are?

 

Honestly, I wish I knew. I don't know if they're spirits/guardians/demons, etc. trying to communicate with me, or just drive me insane, but I can't tell.

 

 

 

-In relation to the voices/hallucinations who do you think these people are?

 

Like, before, I wish I knew. :(

 

 

-Do you know these people?  If not, why do you think they talk to you?

 

Well, the male voice I hear seems...strangely familiar in a way, as in a sense of comfort. But the others, and the ones that are like a whole auditorium in my head, I don't know of.

 

-What do you think happens in the brain to produce these voices, hallucinations?

 

I don't - and probably never will know.  But I'm beginning to believe that the male voice is actually apart of me.

 

 

-Did your mind invent these voices, tone of voice, gender?

 

Nope. Just appeared out of thin air one day. ._. I want to say almost literally.

 

 

-Why do you think these voices have these particular tone of voice, gender?  And not a different one?

 

I'm not too sure. :<

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      Things have also felt weird because the other day, I almost was done for good. I called my dad to get me, we packed my stuff, and we left. But, I wasn't gonna get to see my boyfriend like normal. My dad told me, it was him or my boyfriend. I chose my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend. Lately though, he's been nagging at me over stupid shit. Like, the air conditioner for example. He wants it on 70 and auto, and I want it on 68 and high. Well, the compromise was 68 and auto, even though it makes him cold sometimes still. We have a window unit in our motel room. I always say, "I don't wanna fight/argue." He doesn't realize when he's nagging/harping on me, sometimes. And the reason because of lack of nicotine needs to stop, IMO. He plans to stop smoking SOON, so yeah. There are times I'll say, "you're nicing (lack of nicotine), and need to calm down." and he normally apologizes and calms down. His insurance has finally kicked in. He's still agreed to get on medication, at least try. He doesn't want to, but he said he would for me. We plan to set him up with my PNP and he's already made an appt. with my counselor (to go alone of course and work on himself.) He likes my counselor, which is understandable, he wants someone he's comfortable with. I'm also not forcing him to see these people, it just happens a lot of them take his insurance. (including my dentist.) But, after me packing up and leaving, then coming back like 15 minutes later things have felt....weird? We went to a counseling appt. that night, we were going to Friday, this happened all this week too no less. 
      With me still forgetting to take my meds, and taking myself off of lamictal ENTIRELY, I'm kind of wonky. I had a bad breakdown the day I tried to leave, when I came home. To the point of suicidal tendency because my dad disowned me....again.
      My anxiety has crept up into my head again, telling me I need to leave my boyfriend. In my heart and my head I know I love him, and I'm pretty sure he loves me. Although, last night was sort of weird? I was laying next to him in bed, getting ready to go to sleep. He pulled up his messenger app and quickly closed out of it when he realized I was watching him, I guess? I asked, "what was that about?" and he says, "I accidentally opened my messenger. Trying to look at my facebook feed." I just said oh. I asked him about it again, and he said the same thing just a little irritated. He then went into his contacts, and I was trying to go to sleep again. I opened my eyes, again. He was looking for someone. I asked who he was looking for, his initial response was "I don't know." so I asked again, and asked why he was in his contacts. He stated he was looking for the contact info of an admin who's on a website he uses, because he forgot his password and wanted to get on there on his phone. I just realized though, like ten minutes ago, he uses that website on this laptop. (we share his computer). His login is saved into the browser, I'm sure. He never remembers passwords to a lot of things, really. We both have our own accounts on the laptop, password protected. I'm just worried he's cheating on me online. When I brought that up, he's like, "who would do that? what's the point?" I said, "well some people end up meeting and stuff...." he just said, "that's still stupid. there's no point." I guess he didn't realize you can talk to someone online who does live in the same city? I don't know. I ask to see his phone, and he hands me it. He'll ask why sometimes, and if I straight up say to go through it, he hands it over. I knew his password to his old phone, the last four of his social. (Which I also know because of gov't. assistance and helping him apply for his insurance.) Granted, he doesn't like me snooping through his things. I don't think he even has a lock on the new phone? We just got new phones Thursday. If I ask who he's talking to, on the phone, or text, or Facebook he usually tells me. If I ask how he knows them, if they have a past, etc. he tells me. My insecurities have crept in telling me I'm not good enough. I compare myself to other girls he thinks are cute. I compare myself to the fact he prefers Latina and Japanse/Asian/Chinese women over white women. (I'm a white female.) I compare myself to the women he watches in porn. I always compare myself. It's weird. I'm comfortable in my skin, with my size, etc. I think I'm about average in the face? My self esteem fluctuates though. Am I being totally unrealistic or do I have reason to worry? Might I also add, once my phone broke I seized the computer to get on my social network accounts. I'm on it more than him, really. When I think about it. If he's up later than me on his phone, I hear him playing games (or watching porn to get off so he can sleep, if I've said I'm not in the mood). Any time I compare myself, or bring myself down, he says, "hey that's the woman I love you're talking about." or that "you're beautiful, more beautiful than any porn star, or girl I think is cute...because I LOVE you. Not them."
       
      I hate the fact that he's pretty much everything I want in a man. His charm. His looks. his personality. All of it. I know though, too that MI relationships tend to take more work. I'm trying to give the nagging thing a chance until he starts therapy and medications. I mean, he did say I really don't wanna take meds but I will for you, if you want us to try it. I appreciate that, a lot. I just feel like an insecure ugly potato.