38 posts in this topic
I look in the mirror and see a really standard white female, average and in my opinion she is pretty! I think I actually went from an ugly duckling to a swan in fact. I have days were I feel ugly but today is a good day. And I feel it's important to tell myself this because I was bullied so much as a teen about my appearance. I didn't look much worse than anyone else looking back, I was sort of plain looking because I was too stressed out to care much about fashion or doing my hair. But yet my anxiety always gravitates back to "People treat me horribly because I look weird to them and they wouldn't if I were prettier or had better clothes", but that is well, crazy! People are mean not because of how someone look but because of their own personal problems/lack of empathy/boredom and they think they can use random people as their punching bags whenever they feel like it, or they've got it in their warped minds that it's fun to tear people down.
I am frustrated by this problem because I feel guilty that I worry about my appearance so much, that it makes me shallow or something. It goes against my true values and beliefs and everything I've learned thus far about beauty, which is that:
a) Scientists have already proven that "ugly" is what we call something that our brains have difficulty processing. I wish I could find the article for this but yeah, if a person finds something hard to look at it means they've been looking at the same thing for too long and need to get out of their comfort zone.
b) I am a proud feminist, and so in general I think a girl has a right to be whatever she wants to be, and she doesn't have to fit into Society's beauty ideals to be treated as an equal.
c) This quote: "You are beautiful when you do beautiful things."
The most frustrating stuff that comes up is not that I keep having these persistent "I'm ugly, I'm a freak, I don't belong here" thoughts, but that I get jealous of girls who say they are sick of being catcalled. How messed up is that?? I hate it. Being catcalled is just another form of harassment and somehow my mind has been polluted with this unwanted thought that it's somehow better to be catcalled than to be straight up insulted and called shit-ugly by grown men (Or semi-grown men I guess, it happened in College.) Then again maybe they weren't really grown men for behaving that way....no they weren't. They were bratty toddlers in adult male bodies. Yeah. >:)
Girls, any of you have these struggles? These thoughts that contradict your other thoughts and make you feel bad? Ugh, the struggle is real.
So, to start off with, I am very anxious about eating in restaurants, especially when I am with someone else. I always get my food to go when I order out. But...
Someone I like invited me to lunch. It was spur of the moment and I wanted to spend time with them, so I said yes. That is when things got bad.
They are normally a quiet person, and so am I. But I kept blathering like an idiot the whole time, because I was so nerve-wracked. I haven't known this person long, but they are someone I want to get to know better and I feel like I was totally annoying. I want to apologise, but I don't know if I should.
I've been agonizing over my behavior for several days now. I really don't want them to think worse of me because of this.
I hate social anxiety...and having eating problems doesn't help either. I just needed to get this off my chest, because it has been really bothering me.
Sorry for the rant.
What are people's experience with Buspar for Anxiety?
I cannot take SSRI's and this is the option I have left potentially.
Does it cause excessive fatigue?
Does it work for anyone?
Klonopin is the one med that seems to work on my GAD, Social Phobia and general Panic Disorder.....Is this a good option to switch to?
I'm huntforbravery. I've got social phobia and it's been kicking my ass lately. I thought joining a community might help me to talk some of it through. Not to mention I'll get to meet new people through the comfort of anonymity . I just graduated from school and am on the job hunt. I spend a lot of time binging TV and blogging. I try and get out of the house and be social when I can. My anxiety can make it hard, though, especially with things like networking events that I can't get out of. Thankfully, I have a good support network who help me through the worst of it.
It's nice to meet you all.
I hope this is the right section...sorry...I never make posts lol.
So I applied for McDonalds a few hours ago and got a call like 30 minutes ago about an interview. I was panicking so hard my chest hurt and I couldn't think straight. I fucked up by agreeing to one for tomorrow instead of trying to haggle for tuesday. I was freaking out so I just agreed with what ever. I have no way to get there besides my Mom or brother driving me. So unforuntately I have to settle for my brother...and I really don't want him to drive me....Agh. I'm scared to walk in and tell someone I have an interview. I know it's just mcdonalds but I've never had a job due to my mental issues.
So what I'm basically asking for is any tips or maybe experiences from people here who have been interviewed there. I know it's a fast paced evironment with a lot of small tasks to do and frankly I think I'd be terrible at it but I was desperate.