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How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

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3 hours ago, Rabbit37 said:

Bad. Very bad. Complete mindfuck today, cleaning out husband’s room. The only person in the world I could talk to about it is my tdoc, he doesn’t work on Fridays, so I have a Monday appt. 

i cant fall apart, I’m trying to stay normal around people in my life, especially my kids. But I just want to vomit, endlessly. 

 

I'm so sorry you are feeling bad, Rabbit. I hope you can find some peace over the next few days until you can see your tdoc. Wishing you the best!

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Tired. Scared. Anxious. Guilty. Overwhelmed.

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overworked. sort of tired but sort of not.

lol insomnia + 17 hr days.

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Time to sleep. Wide awake and wired. I could totally go back to work right now. All this after i upped my ad.

is this a bad sign, folks?

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1 hour ago, argh said:

Time to sleep. Wide awake and wired. I could totally go back to work right now. All this after i upped my ad.

is this a bad sign, folks?

I’m pretty sure I’d at least make a phone call. 

That’s just me. 

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Relieved. 

Slept from 9 til 430. Though I don’t like getting up before dawn, but time changes soon anyway so I need to give that up. 

Vyvanse worked all fourteen hours so I am grateful for that and not having a severe crash period. 

 

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tired. confused. defeated. scared.

my fitbit says i got almost 9 hours sleep, i'm still exhausted and was up for an hour or so around 3am.  got test results back indicating lyme.  waiting to start antibiox. thinking about calling out and going back to bed, but i don't want to jeopardize my job. 

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8 hours ago, jt07 said:

Tired. Scared. Anxious. Guilty. Overwhelmed.

You’ve been down for awhile now. Really hope it lets up on you soon. 

 

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Weak physically. Very content and peaceful happy one with the universe. Suicidal rip my hair out. Gotta go to bed, but not tired. Meds will help.

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13 hours ago, DammitJanet said:

You’ve been down for awhile now. Really hope it lets up on you soon. 

 

Thank you, Janet. I guess it's the hot weather coupled with some situational crap that has me beaten down.

Tonight, I'm sleepy and anxious. Not looking forward to going to the store tomorrow. I hate going to the store on Saturday. But I was so sleepy today that I slept instead of getting this chore out of the way.

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I feel very alone and empty. I have not felt any pleasure in days. I feel distorted and disgusting. I have relapsed and drugs are the only thing making me not sleep for 15 hours a day. Though I feel waves of euphoria, my mind is still dysphoric. I will regret this more than I can comprehend right now.

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After a nightmarish, very stressful 2 days, coming out of it (a bit) started Prozac and Ritalin and at least Ritalin is helping me be cope. I am so worried it will poop out soon and stop working as well (this is usually the case). Doc won't rx Adderall or any other type of "stronger" stim so, fingers crossed this will hold me.

On 9/21/2018 at 11:18 AM, DammitJanet said:

Relieved. Vyvanse worked all fourteen hours so I am grateful for that and not having a severe crash period.

Happy for you...I may have to keep Vyvanse in the "back pocket" in case ritalin poops out. I get a bit irritable on it when it wears off (extended only works like 4 hours, then must pop more). Yet, it keeps me from crawling back into bed and helps me focus on things I need to do. I actually have an ounce of motivation. In what ways does Vyvanse help you?

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6 hours ago, Blahblah said:

After a nightmarish, very stressful 2 days, coming out of it (a bit) started Prozac and Ritalin and at least Ritalin is helping me be cope. I am so worried it will poop out soon and stop working as well (this is usually the case). Doc won't rx Adderall or any other type of "stronger" stim so, fingers crossed this will hold me.

Happy for you...I may have to keep Vyvanse in the "back pocket" in case ritalin poops out. I get a bit irritable on it when it wears off (extended only works like 4 hours, then must pop more). Yet, it keeps me from crawling back into bed and helps me focus on things I need to do. I actually have an ounce of motivation. In what ways does Vyvanse help you?

Strangely, just woke from a 2 hour nap!

Unfortunately, my sleep was totally broken up last night, so today has actually felt a bit gloomy. I did get Abby to the dog park finally, after a couple of months. 

It helps me not eat as much for one. Motivation is up, to clean the house and organize, though less today. Hopefully I’ll sleep better tonight! It also improves my cognition which is such a relief not having to search for my words all the time since ECT screwed up my brain this time. Biggest thing, no irritability like I did often with Adderall. 

 

Today, a bit gloomy, lonely. 

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1 hour ago, DammitJanet said:

Strangely, just woke from a 2 hour nap!

Unfortunately, my sleep was totally broken up last night, so today has actually felt a bit gloomy. I did get Abby to the dog park finally, after a couple of months.

Today, a bit gloomy, lonely. 

Is it also in the Stimulant class? I have found I am actually more tired at bedtime when I take stimulants. Seems it condenses all my energy right away in the morning to get going, then I have an energy drain later in the day... I hope Abby can take some of the gloom & loneliness away ;-)

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1 minute ago, Blahblah said:

Is it also in the Stimulant class? I have found I am actually more tired at bedtime when I take stimulants. Seems it condenses all my energy right away in the morning to get going, then I have an energy drain later in the day... I hope Abby can take some of the gloom & loneliness away ;-)

Yep it’s a lonnnng acting stimulant. Haha. I felt the effects still as I was getting into bed. 😯 

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18 hours ago, jt07 said:

Thank you, Janet. I guess it's the hot weather coupled with some situational crap that has me beaten down.

Tonight, I'm sleepy and anxious. Not looking forward to going to the store tomorrow. I hate going to the store on Saturday. But I was so sleepy today that I slept instead of getting this chore out of the way.

Glad your day improved today!

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Coming back down. Damn, was hoping to use that energy to catch up on work.

alright brain, let’s not over correct, yeah?

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I have such pretty things like some costume jewelry. They sparkle before my eyes. 

I need to get this death sensor out of my brain. But it's too deep. Then the universe would leave me alone. I'm sick of the death threats and messages and voices from it. 

I just emailed my old college admissions office today saying I'm interested in returning and that I needed more info. Hahahahahahahahahaha Yeah, like that's happening. I'm so stupid.

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@DammitJanet Thanks

I am feeling better because the weather is much cooler. But for some reason I have a headache right now. Also, sleepy.

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I woke up late but still feeling quite well, phew! 

I should do something. I should do all the things! Like scrub the bathroom, or kitchen, or repot my cactus Lil P.Rick, or organize the warmer throws and blankets since it's fall, falloween, fallalala, fallelujah, fallafel! That last one might not fit.

Scratch that, I can always fit a falafel. 

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