Parapluie

Anyone on the schizophrenia spectrum want to share?

5798 posts in this topic

2 hours ago, aura said:

My head feels like a radio tower picking up signals. Or like some kind of conduit. That's bad, right?

@iaawal Sorry that what you're experiencing is making you irritable. Does white noise help? It does for me, sometimes.

i think i replied on your blog about this, but i've had that feeling. usually not directly in my head, but i know i've been asked if directly and that's a thing. when's your next appointment? you should definitely mention it. it can get better : ) xx

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Nervous ... I can not smell or taste anything ... and I mean anything, including peanut butter.  I fail the peanut butter test.

I am hoping that my sense of smell and taste return when my head isn't so congested.

Still sick, bad cough, face kills, skin on my shoulder area kills (ie don't touch it kind of thing), part of me aches, but only my neck and shoulders area.  Face is flushed.  BUT no fever so I think I will be ok. 

Still going to appts tomorrow but will be wearing one of those masks they have out as you walk into a medical building.  Then I will save it for the next appt.  Errands after that which I need to do no matter what.  My mother told me that she has "been around kids before who have colds" and isn't concerned about catching whatever I have.

 

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I looked in my closet today. Tdoc said he wanted me to look because if there's someone in there he wants me to call the police. 

I took out a screwdriver and peeked into my closet. There was no one there. I put the screwdriver back and when I turned around I was sure there was someone in there again. Fucking logic. People can disappear and reappear without making a noise. 

I sat in front of my closet and cried. I've already been proven wrong twice yet I'm still terrified of looking in my closet and seeing whoever it is just staring at me. Moments like these make me want to kill myself. I'm tired of this shit. My dreams were scrambled right as I was getting closer to discovering the truth. 

 

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I just started zyprexa last week and I'm having really bad problems breathing too. 

I'm calling my doctor this morning.

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On 1/3/2017 at 10:09 PM, mellifluous said:

i think i replied on your blog about this, but i've had that feeling. usually not directly in my head, but i know i've been asked if directly and that's a thing. when's your next appointment? you should definitely mention it. it can get better : ) xx

I met with my doctors but I can't remember if I mentioned the radio tower feeling... maybe I did? Anyway they finally are taking these experiences I'm having seriously, which hopefully will be good for treatment later on. Thanks for responding!

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I was able to make the B12 shot appt (wore one of those masks) but had to cancel pdoc appt.  Got groceries and came home wiped out.  I keep losing my breath so I am laying low for awhile.

Called the DR this morning because I started choking on the phlegm in my lungs when I cough and sneeze.  Makes me very nervous.  He wasnt there so I talked to the nurse and she said was going to tell the DR I'd be calling in the morning during the 1/2 hour he take calls.

I have a low-grade fever now which unusual because I never get fevers.  For anything.

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Uho h the fever started? I hope it is nothing serious. Sounds un-fun though, get well soon!

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8 minutes ago, Alien Navel Cord said:

Uho h the fever started? I hope it is nothing serious. Sounds un-fun though, get well soon!

Thank you.  Yes, it is low-grade, but it was after I had the excedrin (the tylenol in it lowers a fever).  Either way, I am calling the DR during the 1/2 hour he takes calls in the morning.

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So there's someone hiding in my closet but every time I look there's no one there. But I still that they're inside my apartment, they just left the closet so I wouldn't see them. Tdoc told me to look and if there was someone in there to call the police. But there is no one in there. Now, they're still there. I turn to look at the side they're hiding in and then I start to look everywhere in the closet (shelves, other corner, etc.) because that's too easy. There has to be someone there. Why is there no one there? They're fucking with me. 

Looking in the closet isn't making me feel better. It just freaks me out more because then I start to wonder where they could have gone to. Where else in my apartment are they?

I'm stubborn. I'm being proven wrong but I still believe I'm in the right. 

I guess I should let Carol comment. She says, "there is no one in the closet, dammit. NO ONE!"

Maybe it's my fear of knives? 

Yeah, no. 

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I'm tired of going to sleep knowing there's someone in my apartment. There was someone downstairs. Yes, yes it could always be my neighbors walking around their place. But it sounded so close. I wanted to call the police but I didn't because 1) they would know that I called the police, 2) do you really think they would let me go out into my hallway to let the police in (my building has an intercom), 3) they could escape before the police is there (my balcony) and 4) what if the police doesn't believe and I'm making a scene. 

I just avoid the police. I haven't had a bad experience with them, per se, but my mom used to threaten to call them when I wouldn't go to sleep. So I just am afraid of them, if that makes sense. Plus, one of them called me a "7 year old with fantasies" when I reported on an incident where I saw an adult hit a teenager because I was the only eye-witness on the teenager's side. Like, that really hurts me when someone doesn't believe me so I don't want to risk someone not believing me. Therefore I deal with whoever is in my apartment. 

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Posted (edited)

@iaawal I think this is something that isn't happening. I know it's hard to believe that but you have to ask yourself, what business does someone have in your closet, what realistically would they gain by being in there, leaving, then returning repeatedly. I have this issue quite often with thinking someone is the room in front of my bedroom and I repeatedly have to check, but I also make sure my head detaches from the situation, and thinks things through, before it arrives at a final conclusion. This has to happen many times over, but it relieves some stress to realise there is no logical basis for someone hanging out in the same place, fleeing when I go to look, and then returning again and again. Further, why would this happen every single night with no actual physical incidents be it things stolen, or people getting attacked.

Ask yourself a lot of specific questions about what is going on. I find this helps me. You can even write them down, I do that when my brain is being particularly stubborn.

Edited by saintalto

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Thanks @saintalto Carol, my rational mind, agrees and tell me the same thing. The fact that I'm posting it on this board is something she agrees I should do because it's a delusion (or anxiety which would send me to another board). 

I have my logic and she has hers. She asks the same questions but I always seem to have an answer. I'm uncovering the truth and they're scrambling my dreams and are tracking me. When realistically, I have a cat and I talk to him all the time. Not interesting to watch. 

I do sometimes wonder that. Because how would they know that I'm going to look and how do they get out so fast. That's a good question. No one has been attacked and nothing has been stolen. We'll add that to our list. 

I tend to be stubborn. Thanks again. I'm making it a goal to look in there several times a day to hopefully get me used to the idea that there's no one there.

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Voices are back. My head is noisy and it's making it really difficult to read (which I have to do for class). That's what I get for staying out late drinking last night...

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I think the closet fear is getting better. I mean I'm still afraid but the fact that I've looked in my closet about 15 times and no one is in there is sort of convincing me that maybe they're no longer there. Still hasn't convinced me that they were never there but this is a start. I think. Oh wait now I feel like a fake!

I do feel like the last few days haven't been real. I feel disconnected. I look at my cat and remember that I have a cat. I look in the mirror and remember that that is what I look like. It's all confusing. It's like I went away and someone dumped me back into the world. 

I think it might be because my routine was interrupted for 2 weeks. For 2 weeks I had to leave every day to feed my coworker's cat and I was on routes that I normally don't take. 

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Ugh at all the hallucinations. Blargh at them! And feeling confused and out of it. Blargh at that too. 

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25 minutes ago, heilmania said:

Ugh at all the hallucinations. Blargh at them! And feeling confused and out of it. Blargh at that too. 

It's so frustrating. I can relate. Sorry this is happening to you again.

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25 minutes ago, aura said:

It's so frustrating. I can relate. Sorry this is happening to you again.

Thank you. It'll go away eventually! Or we'll switch meds or do whatever, and we'll get rid of them. 

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has anyone had headaches from Prozac? I have had a headache every day for the last two weeks. I've been on Prozac abt two months now and it's the only change I've had in my med regiment. I really really hope something can be done if these headaches are from Prozac because this med has been doing wonders for me otherwise!! my mood is stable and great most of the time. I wonder if this side effect might go away with time? anyone else experience this?

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6 hours ago, strange eyes said:

has anyone had headaches from Prozac? I have had a headache every day for the last two weeks. I've been on Prozac abt two months now and it's the only change I've had in my med regiment. I really really hope something can be done if these headaches are from Prozac because this med has been doing wonders for me otherwise!! my mood is stable and great most of the time. I wonder if this side effect might go away with time? anyone else experience this?

I haven't had them with prozac.  Is your sig up-to-date?

The only med that I am aware of that gives me headaches every day is Abilify.  I was off of it for 2 weeks, had the most minimal headaches I have (not) felt for a very long time.  Went back on it, and the headaches returned, even on a tiny dose. 

I've never been on fanapt, but maybe the fanapt is contributing to the headaches? (Thinking how both the abilify and fanapt are APs).

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Posted (edited)

10 hours ago, strange eyes said:

has anyone had headaches from Prozac? I have had a headache every day for the last two weeks. I've been on Prozac abt two months now and it's the only change I've had in my med regiment. I really really hope something can be done if these headaches are from Prozac because this med has been doing wonders for me otherwise!! my mood is stable and great most of the time. I wonder if this side effect might go away with time? anyone else experience this?

Strange eyes, it might be a good idea to post this to the side-effects board to get more eyeballs on it (if you want to, anyway). Up to you.

I've been doing better today and yesterday. Fewer hallucinations and less confusion. Never messing up my meds again, I swear.

Edited by heilmania
typo!

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i'm so tired from the clozaril increase...so fucking tired.

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1 hour ago, mellifluous said:

i'm so tired from the clozaril increase...so fucking tired.

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this.  I can empathize from when I was on clozaril.  I ended up going off of it for other reasons, but I do remember the sedation.

I hope the tiredness will wear off soon.  It really does suck.

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@melissaw72 just updated my sig.  i stopped taking promethazine abt a month ago because it was giving me intrusive thoughts before bed.  anyway, the headaches have actually subsided over the past three days.  so that was good.  idk why they were so consistent for two weeks, but i'm glad they're gone.

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1 hour ago, strange eyes said:

@melissaw72 just updated my sig.  i stopped taking promethazine abt a month ago because it was giving me intrusive thoughts before bed.  anyway, the headaches have actually subsided over the past three days.  so that was good.  idk why they were so consistent for two weeks, but i'm glad they're gone.

I'm glad the headaches are gone too!  I can empathize!

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My visual hallucinations have been acting up since yesterday, which has been distracting and irritating me considerably... Well, at least I have a tdoc and a pdoc appt tomorrow...

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