Parapluie

Anyone on the schizophrenia spectrum want to share?

6662 posts in this topic

I was feeling awful today. Anxiety and sleep deprivation to the point of feeling physically unwell. I barely made it through class. When I got home, I slept for three hours (naps for me are super rare!).

The update is that I spoke with the program director and my teachers about my medical limitations. They are all on board, which means I can breathe a sigh of relief.

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Horrible hallucinations this morning of bugs all on the one side of my bed. I couldn't go back to sleep. I had to lay on the other side. I hope they were just hallucinations, I can feel them crawling on me too.

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I'm really fucking delusional. I thought I was high functioning, but it turns out, I've been bathshit for months.

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I am OK; ust puttering around the house with my mom.  I am sitting here listening to my music.  No rambling voices.  I am switching to vraylar (which we would have had, but the pdoc and the insurance company are fighting over it).  Apparently, it's not cost effective to have this medication.  It's a specialty med according to my insurance.  So the price goes higher.   My insurance does not cover it, but they want a preauthorization for it.  If it is the specialty, and my insurance won't cover it, I am fucked over financially, because it is 1100 a month.  Apparently, it's stronger than risperidone.  That crapped out on me within 24 months.   I keep getting woken up by voices chanting for me to kill myself, and this isn't possible right now.  I have to be around for my mother.

So, the possibility that I will be forking my entire check for it.  I need to work.  There's no doubt about it.  It may happen.

Edited by whatsizbucket

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3 hours ago, San said:

I'm really fucking delusional. I thought I was high functioning, but it turns out, I've been bathshit for months.

That must be really scary to discover after all this time. Will you be able to get help?

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3 hours ago, San said:

I'm really fucking delusional. I thought I was high functioning, but it turns out, I've been bathshit for months.

Well, fuck. 

That really sucks. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this. 

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It feels like my entire reality has been replaced with an alternate reality that looks the same but has different rules. It's creeping me out. Don't know what to do :(

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5 hours ago, aura said:

It feels like my entire reality has been replaced with an alternate reality that looks the same but has different rules. It's creeping me out. Don't know what to do :(

Aura that sucks. Is this the first time its happening?

Right now for me it feels like my thoughts are yelling at me and trying to talk to me. No idea if this is a psychosis thing or something else, but im kinda scared right now. Might take a seroquel soon to calm everything down but i also have an exam tomorrow, so i cant be sleepy for that. Im just not sure what to do

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29 minutes ago, unknown diagnosis said:

Aura that sucks. Is this the first time its happening?

Right now for me it feels like my thoughts are yelling at me and trying to talk to me. No idea if this is a psychosis thing or something else, but im kinda scared right now. Might take a seroquel soon to calm everything down but i also have an exam tomorrow, so i cant be sleepy for that. Im just not sure what to do

No this has happened many times before, unfortunately.

Thoughts yelling at you does sound scary. Can you get in touch with one of your doctors?

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I see my psychiatrist on the 10th of July. I'm nervous, because she wants to lower my meds, as she thinks they're having an adverse effect. I am going to ask for either Haldol or Loxapine again, both which were very helpful. I'm hoping it turns out okay. Still nervous, and still have the bugs crawling all over everywhere and everything. So distressing.

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12 hours ago, aura said:

No this has happened many times before, unfortunately.

Thoughts yelling at you does sound scary. Can you get in touch with one of your doctors?

Yeah that sucks. I hope you feel better soon!

I was supposed to be going to amental institute in a few days but i decided against it because i dont need the extra support right now. And about contacting a doctor im going to my psychiatrist in a few days. This isnt the first time its happend, just the first time theyve tried to talk to me

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@unknown diagnosis I hope your psychiatrist meeting goes well. Maybe take some notes with you so you know what you want to say.

 

On my end, things are going poorly. This temporary world is ending.

Edited by aura

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