Parapluie

Anyone on the schizophrenia spectrum want to share?

6860 posts in this topic

been gone for a while, very busy with uni and stuff i have been doing better seems like meds are working missed them a couple of days and became really suicidal but now i seem to be doing better. There's lots of stress in my life right now and its not good for my hallucinations but im refusing to stop uni im doing great even if its really hard.

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It's great that you're persevering, @Angerr.

I'm meeting Egyptian pdoc tomorrow to talk about my issues with paranoia. I'm super nervous because I don't want to take more meds.

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My brain is rotting. I can't think, remember, calculate, comprehend, speak properly, understand, etc. I actually can feel myself losing my mind. It's scary. Why now? I'm only 34. 

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On 10/29/2017 at 2:39 PM, Wonderful.Cheese said:

My brain is rotting. I can't think, remember, calculate, comprehend, speak properly, understand, etc. I actually can feel myself losing my mind. It's scary. Why now? I'm only 34. 

 I can relate to this..ive been feeling similar..im not sure if its the meds or illness..all we can do is keep going and try to be gentle to ourselves..

Ive been med compliant since my last pdoc apointment..im feeling decent but still get breakthrough symptoms if im stressed..maybe this is as good as it gets..

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17 hours ago, coraline said:

 I can relate to this..ive been feeling similar..im not sure if its the meds or illness..all we can do is keep going and try to be gentle to ourselves..

Ive been med compliant since my last pdoc apointment..im feeling decent but still get breakthrough symptoms if im stressed..maybe this is as good as it gets..

It could be as good as it gets. You might be right. I always think it could be better. But maybe it can't. 

Good work for being med compliant though. That's not always easy. You be gentle to yourself too. <3

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I've been having some paranoid thoughts recently and have mostly dismissed them without any concern. But today I actually said one of the thoughts out loud and it sounded batshit crazy to me. Far more so than when I think it. Has anyone noticed this?

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just caught up a bit on this thread, haven't checked in for awhile.  my heart goes out to you all experiencing worsening symptoms.

my life has improved so much ever since i was prescribed clozaril.  it's the only med that has actually worked for me in the seven years since i became sick.  my voices are at a level where i feel do not feel bothered by them most of the time.  my creative drive has come back and i am experiencing significant joy from painting again.  i clean the house, cook for myself, visit with family, read, take walks, make art and have interest in someone romantically.  i feel really grateful. 

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I'm finding that if I stare at something with enough intent (like a computer screen), I start seeing rain. At one point, I couldn't tell if it was lightly raining outside or not because trying to stare at a puddle caused the raining distortion to surface. It's really bizarre and I only noticed it after I relapsed earlier this year... it doesn't really bother me other than reminding me that my brain works a bit differently than most people.

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I am doing much better now. I go to a job program and school but school was on strike too long, so I dropped out this semester. Now I have a job interview on Wednesday. I still get breakthrough symptoms.

A voice said to me "habeas corpus" which i didnt know what it meant which tells me voices are a separate entity. Anyway, maybe, i feel i am keeping a voice prisoner

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I'm so fuzzy headed..it's hard to focus..

Trying to stay awake and do day to day stuff feels impossible..

I don't enjoy anything..I don't think I can deal with any of this..

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