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so, i developed this weird thing i guess when i got off of antidepressants. i used to be able to dress like i wanted when on antidepressants. i could wear my hair long and in my face and wear my band t shirts and generally not be aware or concerned about how i was looking. NOW off of these antideppresants i've developed this kind of ocd type thing. i don't know what it is. if i wear a shirt with any kind of picture or writing on it i become aware that it is on me and its like there's a giant tarantula on my chest and i just have to scrape it off. it becomes so unpleasant and distracting that i can't focus on conversations or be comfortable. sometimes if i have had the nerve to fight this new thing I'm having and have the audacity to put on a shirt with pictures and go out and talk to people, i'll have to go in the bathroom and turn my shirt inside out or put on a jacket and return to the party or wherever and then i'll be fine. someone might say, "well just don't wear shirts with anything on it!" the problem is, i can no longer dress like i want, or express myself. i can only wear very plain clothes or shit gets weird. my psychiatrist and psychologist don't even really have any idea why this is going on or what it is. and i don't think they are aware of how much it bothers me. and it bothers me A LOT. and the same goes with my hair. i have long hair but i can't wear it how i would like cuz things get "weird." like i've described. sometimes i just want to shave it off. so, does anyone have any idea what the fuck is wrong with me???

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