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Thank you meli, yes, this clarifies things so much for me. I really thought the worst there and had a really hard time trying to understand if you'd meant that I was someone who was a problem in chat. I am relieved to hear that the train of thought I thought you were implying, was NOT the actual train of thought you were expressing. Thank you so much for the clarification. :) I really appreciate it. :)

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Thank you meli, yes, this clarifies things so much for me. I really thought the worst there and had a really hard time trying to understand if you'd meant that I was someone who was a problem in chat. I am relieved to hear that the train of thought I thought you were implying, was NOT the actual train of thought you were expressing. Thank you so much for the clarification. :) I really appreciate it. :)

 

you are most welcome :)

 

thank you so much for alerting me to how you'd felt so i could clarify.

 

i hope your stomach is better and if return to chat myself i hope to see you there.

 

much love and respect, x

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I am definitely feeling a whole lot better now. Love and respect right back at you meli. :)

 

To the thread I think it would be good to add, "Give people a chance to explain their comments and don't jump to conclusions about what they meant. Misunderstandings do happen, and it's a far better thing to work through them together as it brings people together rather then driving people apart."

 

Time for lunch! :D

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I found this post very helpful because I'm afraid that because I am new and wanted to talk to people, who may or may not have been in crisis mode, I may have annoyed or offended. No one corrected me but I still feel as though I have a lot to learn about the site and how to communicate better without possibly breaking the rules or offending others by my nature to get to know and/or give advice when I feel it relates to my life or feelings personally!

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A good thread. I try try to adjust and meet folks halfway (meaning talk if talk is useful). I agree with Luna and Melli. Also "it's also not cool to hit on people you've known for a hot minute in private chat." might be worth reporting. Very Not cool.

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Absolutely worth reporting. Crazy chat isn't a dating service. Definitely let a mod or admin know that happened, because that kind of thing is inappropriate. 

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my opinion, priority should go towards new/young/in trouble and the following terms have no place when delivered in anger: "fuck you", "cunt," "asshole." I've held my tongue in the past. This chat room is the only one. I'm not pretending know what's best. I DO know what kills it and I will not tolerate it. Guys, if you see something wrong when you are there, speak up in whichever way works.

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I really like the part about respecting that we have different shit going on so on that topic I would like to say this.  If your in chat and someone is on a topic that triggers you don't hesitate to pull the plug on chat.  You might want to at least warn people that the topic is making you go into a spin but in my experience its still more important to be able to step away and go do some chilling out stuff.

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I think it's important to add that using humor to break the ice, while it might seem like a good idea, might in actuality, NOT work out as you intend it to. If a attempt at humor is seen a thinly veiled personal attack on people in chat or our community as a whole, you will undoubtedly be shown the door. I get it that some people are nervous on trying the chat for the first time, but that is no excuse for trolling behavior. Which there is no doubt that tossing derogatory labels around and calling it humor, well that's trolling any way you slice it. 

 

Another thing worth adding, if you are called out as doing something 'wrong' in chat, don't make the situation worse by attempting to defend what's been deemed as bad or negative behaviors in chat-you are not going to win and the word/decision of any crazy boards staff is final. Also, as much as some people might think there are sides, as in a 'them or us' mentality, such a thing only exists in the mind of the one who's perceiving it. We are all living with various Mental Illnesses, and HERE there is no such 'them or us' mentality. You have to keep that in mind when chatting, that everyone IN chat has their own MI issues to manage, and that if people leave chat, it's NOT something to take personally. The rule is, manage your own triggers, which means if something is upsetting you, do like HAL9000 mentioned above my post here, and leave chat quietly. Come back when the painful topic is done and all is well. Chat is here to help us, be it venting about something bothering us, or to help talk us down from doing something bad-as in to seek professional help ASAP so we can be SAFE...

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I find that generally if you have to make use of posts like like this, you're completely hopeless and should stay out of chat.

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This is a good thread.

 

Here's a few things I learned!

 

-------------

1. Okay, don't PM people without asking first. Some people are irked,confused, busy, etc. So always ask first. Some people specifically don't even want to PM

 

2. avoid personal questions especially about trauma. I made that mistake, I think I was forgiven for it. Sorry! If you really want to ask always end your question with something like "ignore me if this is too personal". Trust me, if it is too personal, the person will ignore you.

 

3. I learned don't break the rules. Even for a joke. People don't like it. I don't blame them. Sorry! The cyberhug was a joke.

 

edit:

4. Turn the ding-dong door bell noise off if you have a puppy who barks when your doorbell rings!

-------------

 

Anyways, over-all the people in chat are very nice and I've really appreciated getting to know some of them and the conversations that have rolled by. It's a great place. It helps me battle the loneliness and stay connected to others.

Edited by RoadToRecovery

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There's only one. It's /me and it makes the action voice.

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Here are a couple tips... they may sound harsh, but I don't intend for them to be.

  • Mods aren't babysitters. We have a LOT going on.
  • Act like an adult.
  • If you don't like what a mod says, berating them to another mod isn't a good idea. We work as a team.
  • Don't discuss other people, especially if they've been kicked/banned, when they aren't there.
  • Mind your own business. Stay out of other peoples drama.
  • Mods/admins are members FIRST, mods last. We're crazy too. We may need to talk in chat, and often get ignored or berated. Most often ignored.
  • If you aren't a mod/admin, don't mod chat. That goes downhill really fast.
  • Most of the time when I'm in chat, I'm just a member that enjoys being in chat.

 

  • Like 2

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