FireNationPrincess

Ashamed of letting my dog lick my privates

13 posts in this topic

I need to talk about this because it's driving me crazy. Please, help!
 

When I was around 17 years old (3 years ago) I was not only horny, but frustrated. I share a room with my mom, so I don't have privacy whatsoever. I remember reading some stories about girls letting their dogs lick their vagina and since I really didn't know how to masturbate I decided this was the best alternative. So I did it. When my mom was out I let my dog lick me out, I think I did it only two times. No more than that. I used to rush to the bathroom and take a bath to get clean so I wouldnt "catch" anything. Anyway, like I said I did it 2 times and then I stopped.

The thing is that I feel extremely guilty and ashamed of this. I already asked God for forgiveness and I recently I went to church to confess (The priest was very kind to me). But I just can't let go of this... I'm afraid I'll get cancer or something like that in the future. I feel cursed. I'm so terrified of giving birth to a child that is sick because of what I did. Sometimes I completely forget I did it, and I can be ok for months, but then I remember and AGH. It's just awful.

I have General Anxiety, maybe that's why I have a harder time to let go... I see a therapist but I'm afraid to tell her, I feel like she'll judge me. I'm not taking medication for my anxiety yet because shit is expensive, but I'm saving some money so I can buy it soon.

I just wish I could forgive myself and move on. I really want health for me and my future kids. I'm so scared!!!

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We all do silly things when we are younger, just learn from that mistake and promise to never do that again.

Also studies have shown dogs have good bacteria to humans in their mouths, you may have cleansed your vag, lol.

 

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Well you're not going to get cancer from it but it certainly isn't hygienic.

This is an anxiety thing from the sounds of it. Approach it like you would with any anxiety provoking thought: challenge it, what proof do you have that something bad is going to happen? One way of doing this is creating two lists, list reasons for and against and that'll help put things into perspective.

Edited by Southern Discomfort

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I really don't think this is going to give you cancer, make you sick, or affect your ability to have children.  To be honest I doubt a dog's mouth is much more unsanitary than... other things people often put in that area.  I think I've heard that a dog's mouth is generally more hygienic than a human's.

I think that we can sometimes have superstitious ideas, like that we are going to get cancer for doing something we regret, maybe because it helps us feel a little more of a sense of control?  I don't know.  

So, you obviously realize this is something that shouldn't be repeated, and it sounds like mostly you have a lot of guilt about it which may be the biggest issue.  It can be difficult to let go of guilt but it may be more productive to learn from it and move on.  Maybe it could be helpful  to try to live in an environment where you have more privacy for masturbation and other reasons given your age.  

What do you think it would take for you to forgive yourself and move on? 

 

Edited by koa

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Southern Discomfort, please take a moment to review posting and responding guidelines for The Confessional. They are a little different here than the rest of the boards.

 

FNP, have you had a gynecologist appointment and/or been tested for STI/STDs since then? Would it help to put you at ease about your health?

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FireNationPrincess -

Believe it or not, you are not the first to come here with a similar situation. You're fine.

You did not harm the animal in any way, and you did no harm to any other person.

You asked God for forgiveness, and that is all He asks (indeed, He's famous for it - no sacrificial sheep needed, no blood offerings, not even vegetables). You are forgiven. He is the highest authority on whether you should have forgiveness. If it's good enough for Him, it's good enough for you. Even your priest was good with it, apparently. Accept if for yourself.

There is no biological agent in the dog's mouth that could give you cancer, nor is there any way that the dog could cause a disease in you that could be passed to a future child by licking you. Your fears have no basis in science, and  you can allow yourself not to worry.

Don't do it again, and think of it no more. You're free of it. Go and live.

Edited by Cerberus
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Southern Discomfort, please take a moment to review posting and responding guidelines for The Confessional. They are a little different here than the rest of the boards.

 

FNP, have you had a gynecologist appointment and/or been tested for STI/STDs since then? Would it help to put you at ease about your health?

I went to see a gynecologist recently and I have an infection, but a common one, so I'm being treated for it. He wasn't worried, so I guess that's good. I haven't been tested for STI/STDs tho, but I'll do it soon. That would probably make me feel even better.

 

FireNationPrincess -

Believe it or not, you are not the first to come here with a similar situation. You're fine.

You did not harm the animal in any way, and you did no harm to any other person.

You asked God for forgiveness, and that is all He asks (indeed, He's famous for it - no sacrificial sheep needed, no blood offerings, not even vegetables). You are forgiven. He is the highest authority on whether you should have forgiveness. If it's good enough for Him, it's good enough for you. Even your priest was good with it, apparently. Accept if for yourself.

There is no biological agent in the dog's mouth that could give you cancer, nor is there any way that the dog could cause a disease in you that could be passed to a future child by licking you. Your fears have no basis in science, and  you can allow yourself not to worry.

Don't do it again, and think of it no more. You're free of it. Go and live.

Thanks Cerberus, that made me feel a lot better. :) You're right, I'm forgiven, and I have to forgive myself as well. I think I'm going to be ok!!

I really don't think this is going to give you cancer, make you sick, or affect your ability to have children.  To be honest I doubt a dog's mouth is much more unsanitary than... other things people often put in that area.  I think I've heard that a dog's mouth is generally more hygienic than a human's.

I think that we can sometimes have superstitious ideas, like that we are going to get cancer for doing something we regret, maybe because it helps us feel a little more of a sense of control?  I don't know.  

So, you obviously realize this is something that shouldn't be repeated, and it sounds like mostly you have a lot of guilt about it which may be the biggest issue.  It can be difficult to let go of guilt but it may be more productive to learn from it and move on.  Maybe it could be helpful  to try to live in an environment where you have more privacy for masturbation and other reasons given your age.  

What do you think it would take for you to forgive yourself and move on? 

 

Thanks, Koa. After reading all your amazing replies I feel a lot better. Maybe that's what I needed, to hear from other people that things would be ok and that I'm not banned from society for doing what I did.

I'm glad I decided to rant here, it did good to me! :) Thank you for your support, guys, really!

 

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FireNationPrincess, you're not alone. I had similar experiences to yours.  I've mentioned it to two therapists before and they were genuinely unphased by it; wasn't at all unheard of to them.

I used to feel very ashamed of it and worry over why I did it; thinking it was another awful thing that made me different from others. Yeah it's taboo but today I rarely think about it and when I do it's like, "Whatever." Humans do very humanly things and I accepted it.

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On October 12, 2015 at 1:13 AM, FireNationPrincess said:

I need to talk about this because it's driving me crazy. Please, help!
 

When I was around 17 years old (3 years ago) I was not only horny, but frustrated. I share a room with my mom, so I don't have privacy whatsoever. I remember reading some stories about girls letting their dogs lick their vagina and since I really didn't know how to masturbate I decided this was the best alternative. So I did it. When my mom was out I let my dog lick me out, I think I did it only two times. No more than that. I used to rush to the bathroom and take a bath to get clean so I wouldnt "catch" anything. Anyway, like I said I did it 2 times and then I stopped.

The thing is that I feel extremely guilty and ashamed of this. I already asked God for forgiveness and I recently I went to church to confess (The priest was very kind to me). But I just can't let go of this... I'm afraid I'll get cancer or something like that in the future. I feel cursed. I'm so terrified of giving birth to a child that is sick because of what I did. Sometimes I completely forget I did it, and I can be ok for months, but then I remember and AGH. It's just awful.

I have General Anxiety, maybe that's why I have a harder time to let go... I see a therapist but I'm afraid to tell her, I feel like she'll judge me. I'm not taking medication for my anxiety yet because shit is expensive, but I'm saving some money so I can buy it soon.

I just wish I could forgive myself and move on. I really want health for me and my future kids. I'm so scared!!!

I know this was posted quite some time ago but I had a similar experience when I was younger, too. Mine was when I was a little younger and I honestly didn't have much clue of what I was doing. Recently this has been coming back to haunt me and the guilt is overwhelming. Reading this post definitely helped a lot knowing some others had the same experience. Firenationprincess, if you somehow see this if you could let me know how you overcame you're experience, I would be very grateful. 

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Forgiving one self can be a blessing vested by a loving Heavenly Father.   I saw a movie recently, "Just Let Go", really worth viewing, about how forgiving something major may not be possible except when the ability to do so is given you by God.  We all sin.  We all sin big too.  We can deny the sin.  What one considers a big sin, others laugh about (denial-we know unless we are deadened to the Lords Spirit).  You consider this a big sin and it has caused you some real sorrow and pain in your life.   Why not as in this movie, pick a date by which you can just let go of this, by allowing the Lord to allow you to forgive yourself.  Let Him take this from you.  He has already forgiven you.  He already paid an atonement to cover our mistakes. "What I the Lord forgive, I forgive" It doesn't mean we wont still feel some regret on occasion and still remember this, but we wont have the disposition to do this again unless we desire to and we will feel the peace of knowing the Savior paid the uttermost for this.  This ought to help us love Him more.  The more good things (Christ-like)you do in your life, the more self confidence you will feel.  This is the way it is when we overcome a bad habit, a fault, etc..   Living right and responsibly gives us self confidence and self-esteem.  I hope soon enough you will be able to look back at that time and know it was all in learning and you chose to live right and good.  Congratulations on that decision and have some compassion for yourself.  You were a little kid and you didnt have the experience you have now.  None of us will be perfect when we die...not one.  We all just need to keep on trying to be like Jesus and allow Him to help us when we fall short....which for me is every day at least. Through the years I have finally come to accept that I'm human and never going to be perfect when I die.  Along with this has come a profound trust in the Savior as I see how He improves me a little at a time,more than I can for myself.  Mostly I wish this process would go more quickly and I do try with everything in me.  I look back at who I was 5 years ago for example, I can see how I have grown and become a much more kind and wise person; more obedient to those commandments I am fully aware are expectations from a kind and loving father in Heaven and not just rules to please Him, but a pathway to happiness, no matter what circumstances are thrown at me.

You ought to feel pretty proud of yourself for confronting this and I bet you have helped a number of folks out here by coming forward. :)

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@understanding

If you would like to talk about religion or spirituality, we have a section of the boards for that where you can talk all you want about your personal religious beliefs. However, proselytizing as you have done in this post, even though you have clearly intended to be supportive, is not ever ok on this particular mental health support site.

Thanks for playing nicely with others. 

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Have you got a therapist? You need to let go of the guilt. Ultimately, the dog was not hurt or traumatised, so you should take that into consideration.

Also, we all make mistakes, especially at 17. God, i think that's the single dumbest age there is! 

So many of us have things we did around that age we feel kind of disgusted by, I think. 

Its time to let go of your guilt and shame. Do you have a therapist or psychologist (tDoc)?

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Posted (edited)

Dog's saliva is naturally anti-septic. If you were going to get in any way sick from this, it would have happened already. What you did caused harm or suffering to no one, including you.

I am not religious, it sounds like you have a nice priest and you can trust him to tell you how to deal with this from a religious perspective.

If you feel guilty about something that caused harm that is really hard psychologically, because you can repent but you can't undo the harm, but you didn't do any harm.

This doesn't say anything whatsoever about who you are as a person. If anything it will make you a better person, people who have never felt shame in their lives can be very very unsympathetic to other people who make mistakes. Give it this significance. When you see someone publicly shamed you will always remember that all of us, all of us have secret shames. Every time this intrusive thought comes into your head, take it as a reminder to always be forgiving of other people who are sorry for something they will never do again.

If you can turn it into something positive and meaningful in this way I hope it will take the pain of it away for you. You have suffered enough with it.




[wupps.. this is 2 years old.. goes to show the power of a good title]

Edited by Antecedent
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