Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Sign in to follow this  
Sofia

Venting and cutting..

Recommended Posts

Well today was a shit day to put it lightly. Now I hope I don't sound like a whinny overly emotional girl. I just want to vent. I really don't care who reads this or if no one reads this at all. I just need a way to get my emotions out in words.

My mom has one of those steel safes with a combination. She keeps my medication for depression and anxiety, along with some razors in there.  For the past couple of days I've been trying to crack the lock and figure out the combination with no luck.  This kind of behavior drives my mom nuts. She'll go of into a rage and call me a fat narcissistic conveying bitch. She always surprises me with new insults to call me that she's made up on the fly. 

I just can't take it anymore. She's been Especially emotional  after her boyfriend of 5 months dumped her. Well today all that pint up anger burst out of her and she slapped me hard across the face after a long argument. This was really nothing new but she usually never hit so hard. I just stood there with my hand on my face shocked. She then told me that I was a mistake and that she should of taken my fathers advice and got me aborded 

that was the last straw. The  Desire to stop living was so great that I ran to my shower and took a [sharp] that I had been hiding for a while [description of activities]. When I was all done my thighs didn't even look like thighs anymore.they just looked like a mangled mess. It doesn't even hurt. I've desensitized myself to pain. I just feel stinging. 

Edited by WinterRosie
Took out some descriptions

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi. Welcome to CB. I'm glad that you've found us although I'm sorry for your reason for being here.

This particular forum has some guidelines, though. So I'm editing your post to keep within them; because we're a pro-recovery board we don't need graphic descriptions of your activities. If you want to edit your post yourself then please feel free.

It's super-shitty that your mum is beating you. You deserve to be kept safe and abuse is the opposite of that. I'm glad that you're here. I wonder if she ever is too, when her emotions aren't clouding her judgement.

What are you doing to look after your thighs? I imagine that they're a horrible place for infections.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

I’ll get straight to it, your mums shit. 

With advice on your situation you need to talk to someone. If you have other family live with them. If not they’ll be someone else.

Telling someone about your mum is the best option. I know cutting is tempting as someone who has also done it.

But think about someone you love real or fictional. Make there love greater than the pull to the cutter. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

  • Similar Content

    • By X Anime Lover X
      I’ll get straight to it, I cut myself.
      This was my first time cutting. 
      I don’t know why, the thought of cutting kept haunting my mind. I decided after school I would do it. Just once.
      I was alone in the house at the time and got everything I needed. I had a first aid kit, a small screwdriver and a sharpener. 
      I took out the blade and I was nervous and did it high up on my thigh. I cut twice on my thigh then on my hips. I got carried away and cleaned up the cuts. There were more cuts then I intended and I cleaned everything up hiding the evidence.
      I’m a little shaky from what I did but I don’t regret it.
      I don’t believe I did it and it doesn’t bother me. 
      I’m scared what others will think if they find out. 
      Help me.
    • By tryp
      This thread is a directory of several other threads with great suggestions on things you can do RIGHT NOW instead of self-harming, and great resources you can use in your recovery.
      http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/200-alternatives-to-si-and-other-coping-skills/
      This thread is a big jumble of posts from other members about alternatives they have found helpful.
      http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/16001-what-to-do-right-now-instead-of-si/
      Alternatives to self-harm sorted into groups based on different emotions that might be making you want to SI.
      http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/43071-i-wanted-to-self-harm-today-instead-i/
      "I wanted to self harm today - instead I..."
      Enjoy!
    • By Tori_D
      So when my parents first found out about me self-harming was in 6th grade I was bullied, my parents were getting a divorce, and my parents would always yell at me for everything. Well I started to cut myself a lot and one day for the gym I was dressing out and a girl had seen my arms and told the counselor that then told my parents. My mom and dad both told me I was selfish, attention seeker, and how they're disgusted with me. I told them I was bullied a lot but they said they didn't believe me. So from then I just would hide how I felt and I had stopped cutting for about 2 months until things got bad again and I started to cut where no one can see, and I still cut today. I'm depressed at 14 now, but I don't have anyone I can go to to get help without having my parents fucking call me a disappointment.
    • By Owenms
      I'm new to the forums and thought it would be useful to introduce myself. I'm not really comfortable talking about myself and it's pretty obvious because my heart is racing just writing this. But I've been having a lot of issues lately so I'm hoping I can find some help by talking more with you guys. 
    • By SpreadMyWings
      I just cut myself again, after less than a week without doing it.  The longest I've gone is about 2 1/2 months.  When I've been keeping such big secrets for so long, it isn't hard to find my way around my parents safety measures.  I'm sure you guys can agree.  I started cutting when I was 13.  My parents know.  Now, at almost 15, I've been hospitalized 5 times.  My family is reaching the limit of their tolerance.  I can't blame them.  My youngest sister, after witnessing one of my breakdowns, now sees a therapist herself.  Today, my dad said I'll have to go live in a special home if I don't stop.  I don't know what to do.  I want to be with them and make them happy, but self-harm has become a part of me now.  Honestly, I almost want to go away.  At least then they wouldn't have to worry about me.  I really have nothing left to fight with.  That's why I'm reaching out.  Thanks guys.
×