mellifluous

coping strategies to get through the long weekend+holiday

26 posts in this topic

i'm not doing great. i fear i'm going to ruin christmas for everyone. i can't do that. i need to get through the long weekend.

i just feel so displaced. sorta. or without extension. 

any suggestions? i can't go inpatient. or i'm not going to. i'm already increasing clozaril to maybe as much as 400 (i'm at 350 from 325 now).

i haven't gone running or showered or changed clothes or eaten a proper meal or slept a restorative sleep in a while.

and i'm willing to concede that maybe i've made a few mistakes the past week and a half or so. i shouldn't've been fucking around with plans. that was probably a bad idea. i can't reverse time. though i have a number of other thoughts on time, i'll spare everyone. 

the point is: i have a brunch tomorrow (partner's family) and a dinner party sunday (social thing). and my small girl ...that time is covered because she fills it. 

i don't know what to say. i know i'm not alone in struggling to get through a weekend. a long one. with fucking holidays, no less! how are you doing this? naps? how're you connecting with things and people who aren't super compelling? how are you willing yourself to change your clothes and shower?

i think skipping that therapy session is probably also bad. i see my psychiatrist tuesday. i don't really care about tuesday though. i need need need to make it through the days that're holidays. i can't ruin the holidays for people. i'm afraid to have strong emotions toward anything, like strong motivations, because i don't know where they'd go. so i'm doing nothing. but i have to do some things. so i have to control things. sorta. you know what i mean?

how do you get through long weekends? be specific, please. xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aside from Christmas, I don't like holidays especially on weekends.  To get through those times sleep helps a lot.  Also, in the past I have gone outside and just sat there enjoying the fresh air.  It breaks up the day for me.  So when I go back inside, I just feel like I can accomplish something ... anything ... that I need to do.  When I go outside though, I don't want people seeing me without a shower, so that gets me in the shower if I need to.  I still feel gross though  so I also brush my teeth.  Then I go out in the fresh air and it feels good because I feel clean and relaxed, just breathing in air in a quiet place.  Stay outside until I feel like going inside.  And when I get in I feel so much better.  Idk how to explain it really.  But it breaks up the day and it helps my mood most of the time. 

Watching dvds also helps, whether I've already seen the movie or not.  Same with being on the computer ... that gets me through most of the time.

When you go to the brunch and dinner party, is there somewhere at each place where you can de-stress or re-group (or whatever) in quiet for a few minutes here and there, hopefully easing anxiety or just the stress of being around people (that is what happens to me at least ... being around lots of people for more than a little while stresses the crap out of me)?  Do you think that would help?  Or maybe take your small girl outside for a breath of air with her.  I know you love being with her.  It can be some more "mommy time" with her.

Also, with your small girl, she won't be this age ever again at this time of year ...  Not sure if you celebrate Christmas, but if so, maybe take a live video of your small girl opening presents and her reactions to everything.  Or if not at Christmas, maybe take a video of her doing something else.  Those memories will last a lifetime.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

those are great suggestions, melissa; thank you :)

 

good luck to you on getting through the weekend as well. xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i'm afraid the tide is going out and i'm following it. but then i also feel completely free in a way. but, still, i canNOT ruin christmas for every year to come for them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish I had some good suggestions, I'm swamped myself. Best I can say is have a quiet room to retreat to when you need to chill out a bit. I've bene using my bedroom.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i'm afraid when i'm alone with just my head that's when i'm most.....precarious. i need to live through these days. but it would exhaust me to fill them with things. maybe i need a something i'm going to do on the other side. i just want to do what's right, but i know it's coming.....i can see the shore receding in ways. but my small girl can't grow up with bad thoughts of holidays. i'm so stupid for thinking 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, mellifluous said:

those are great suggestions, melissa; thank you :)

 

good luck to you on getting through the weekend as well. xx

Thank you.  I think it should go ok.  I'll be constantly doing things so I think it will pass quickly.  I have a cold that started yesterday, but really came on last night.  I am kind of better but not completely.  So now Idk what the plans are.  Hoping for the best.

I really hope things go well for you, melli.  I really do. 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My daughter will be over from Sunday (i.e. Christmas) through Wednesday and as much I love her, I precisely find times she is over for extended periods of time to be stressful, as I find her to be so busy when if I had a choice I would not be busy at all and find being busy to be stressful. At least my parents are around, if they were not it would be worse. But at the same time they are also making plans, which adds to this, stuff like going ice skating. So I don't know what to do other than wait until this is all over and I can go back to my regular work routine; I like routines rather than all kinds of unpredictable or at least non-routine events going on during the day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, Closure said:

and I can go back to my regular work routine; I like routines rather than all kinds of unpredictable or at least non-routine events going on during the day.

I totally hear you on this.  Unpredictability is the worst.  And much as I like to be at my parents here and there, I need to be back in my routine and my own space, alone, as soon as I can.

I'm sorry it is so stressful with someone coming over for 3-4 days.  I would be stressed too.  I don't even have any advice except tell you that you aren't alone with this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is more okay when my daughter is over from Friday night through Sunday evening, where then it is about half the time and I feel it will be over with soon enough. I do love my daughter very much, but I find having her over to be stressful nonetheless.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just think its hilarious that we are all hating on holidays when all I hear around me from others is that they can't wait for holidays etc etc.... I think they are the fucked up ones.... 

Goodness... it is a test that is for sure - and also it is super good to see you Melli... delish!

 

xx

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, mellifluous said:

Early family brunch accomplished. 

36:21 to go

:D  I am glad you were able to go and accomplished it!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Chickenlips said:

I just think its hilarious that we are all hating on holidays when all I hear around me from others is that they can't wait for holidays etc etc.... I think they are the fucked up ones.... 

Goodness... it is a test that is for sure - and also it is super good to see you Melli... delish!

 

xx

Agreed

 

and good to see you, dear friend; smooch! xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Closure said:

It is more okay when my daughter is over from Friday night through Sunday evening, where then it is about half the time and I feel it will be over with soon enough. I do love my daughter very much, but I find having her over to be stressful nonetheless.

I can understand this.  Makes total sense to me.  Do you mind me asking how old she is?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I can understand this.  Makes total sense to me.  Do you mind me asking how old she is?

My daughter is 7, almost 8. She is a constantly busy girl, and this is what stresses me, as I am by no means a constantly busy guy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

here comes another long weekend...and then my therapist will be back and i'm going to have to deal with that missed appointment. maybe i'm not as opposed to this one, now that i think about it. still, it'll be long. i should do something on friday and then i have to make it until tuesday evening.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hear you on long weekends. This one in particular for me.  I don't have plans for NYE or new year's day (yet--there's a possible dinner on NYE at least) and the outlet my tv plugs into has bit the dust, so no watching of it all on television.

Something that helps me sometimes is to make a list of things that I need to do or want to do.  Something like:

personal care

  • wash face (saturday, sunday, moonday)
  • brush teeth (etc)
  • etc....

things around the houes

  • vacuum

 

And s on and so forth.  If it would help at all to see some things I've done in the past, you can either leaf through my blog or just let me know and i'll see if it's PM-able

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am with you both on the long weekends.  Last weekend would have been ok if nothing was closed on Monday the 26th.

And now this weekend ... Jan 1st is on a Sunday, and I will be super irritated and pissed if things are closed on the 2nd.

A regular weekend sucks as it is.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

do yinz work during the week? I don't usually find weekends any different than weekdays but I also don't work. 

however totally feel all that's been said about holidays. I can't stand being around a large group of people for an extended time. gets my anxiety and voices going and then I just have to leave. 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 minutes ago, strange eyes said:

do yinz work during the week? I don't usually find weekends any different than weekdays but I also don't work. 

however totally feel all that's been said about holidays. I can't stand being around a large group of people for an extended time. gets my anxiety and voices going and then I just have to leave. 

i do not, no...i don't work. but things are closed. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

what kind of things? like doc offices? or school maybe? sorry I hope I'm not being annoying. I don't really go out too much during the week or weekend. what do you like to do during the week Melli?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

btw yeah I understand how things would be closed on holidays. but the things I can think of like restaurants, libraries, museums, coffee shops, grocery stores, thrift stores, malls etc etc are open during the weekend when it's not a holiday 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you know, i realize that i maybe didn't clarify why weekends are long for me. especially holidays. right now i'm not doing great. tomorrow will be my first test going outside my house in daylight to meet someone who isn't a mental health professional. 

weekends are long because i stay up later...because things happen later. but that means more time in my head. and i've been doing "alarming" things of late. like digging up plans and revising and running wild with a certain most likely delusional train of thought. and i hate feeling that badly about myself and that conflicted. and that happens more on the weekends.

as for what i do during the day...for the past month..slinking around in a hoodie and trying to be invisible. but previously, i would do things with my small girl and we'd go to museums, parks, walks, coffee shops, lunch, all over our city. i've just really had a rough time with that increasingly lately. though it hopefully will be significantly improved within the next few days...it could take up to six total weeks for full effect. that's a long fucking time to feel the way i feel and be so unresolved and desperate to be convinced by the strongest argument but i can't shake it. but i got out of IP because i have no imminent intent. i'm afraid it'll happen within a certain amount of time, but i don't' have any dates set or anything. so, yeah...i have to make it through the long weekend (and, currently, also week) because when my small girl is napping/asleep, in lieu of self care of any sort, the past month ish i've been living in my head and doing these things that are preparation and it looks really bad, but they can't force me in. and he doesn't think that's the key anyway. he thinks i need to accept my symptoms as symptoms and my thoughts need to be challenged/reality checked more frequently (i've also not been going to groups and skipped individual therapy last week).

 

anyawy, what do you do during the week?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only things I do for coping strategies on weekends (unless I am fortunate to have a place to go which breaks up the day) are watching TV/DVDs/be on the computer/do a word-find book (that is extremely helpful because once I start doing the puzzles it passes time really fast ... and before i know it an hour or 2 has passed.  Sometimes I'll clean something, just something, like 2 thing.  On-line window-shop, listen to music. Oh ... sleep!  All of that mixes and matches and eventually the weekend is over with.

I know what I wrote all sounds easier said than done, to get through the weekends, and that is the thing ... it is easier said than done.  I just do my best to get through it with some of the stuff I wrote. 

When it comes down to it though, at least for me, weekends are very long and I can't wait until Monday finally comes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now