Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

jacques

Things you've done while manic

Recommended Posts

I did some digging around to see if there was a thread like this, but the most recent one I could find was last posted in circa 2009. Anyway, my stories probably aren't as wild as some but I've got some instances to share.

  • I stole some of my parents' fireworks when I was 15 and tried to use them to set a fire in an empty parking lot with my friends. It didn't work out too well. 
  • Walked along train tracks when I knew they were active.
  • Went to second base (second base as in hand stuff) in the grass just off a busy highway in the park.
  • Went to third base outside behind a store.
  • Spent hours naked with my then-boyfriend in a changing room in the mall. On a weekly basis.
  • Did a strip tease and engaged in light bondage on my parents' bed.
  • Broke into an abandoned house while walking across the county just because I could.
  • Spent every cent I made during my first ever job in one week.
  • Told someone in my high school I knew how to build bombs and threatened them during a rage because they were "bringing me down".
  • Dyed my hair pink in the bath tub then cut half of it off.
  • Got mad at my mom for making me take the garbage out so I refused to put on shoes or a coat and walked out into the snow in bare feet and short sleeves.
  • Ate an entire pizza on multiple occasions because "I was just hungry", sometimes purging after and sometimes not.
  • Thought that I was going to lead a socialist revolution and started collecting glass bottles and Marx and related authors' literature for that reason.
  • Began trying to convert my bedroom into a fallout shelter because I thought World War III was coming and the Russians were going to nuke us.
  • Decided I was going to teach myself six different languages including Russian, Korean, and Latin; three different martial arts; and four different instruments. Never did.
  • Decided to smoke weed to celebrate getting a new job, nearly forgetting there was a possibility that I could get drug tested.
  • Spent over $100 on video games within two days and went on 10+ hour binges.
  • Popped caffeine pills for a week instead of my mood stabilizers.
  • Impulsively did my makeup, put on one of my wigs I got for cosplay, dressed up, and had myself a photo shoot. And I looked cute. 
  • Covered my arms in lipstick for no discernible reason.
  • Bought herbal supplements cause I thought they'd "cure my depression".
  • My younger sister asked me for help on an essay she had to do for history (I write really good essays and I've always been really good at history) on the New Deal, and I ended up in a half hour long, mania-fueled rant about how the Treaty of Versailles was bullshit and if we hadn't blamed the entirety of World War I on the Germans, Hitler never would have risen to power like he did because hard times breed extremism. Then I started ranting about how it was a tragedy that Huey Long was killed before he could run for president and also about how much I hated Calvin Coolidge. A few minutes later, I had told her to turn on the High School Musical 2 soundtrack and I was dancing around her room to Bet On It. This was at like 11:30 at night, which isn't late for me but that's about an hour and a half after she usually goes to bed. Oh, and the only reason I ended up in her room was because I was downstairs looking to get myself a fudge pop and I got distracted from it when I saw her light was on.
  • Marathoned a TV show for 20 hours, starting at around 11 PM after getting home from the mall where I had been hanging out all evening.
  • Meant to go to bed, but ended up laying there obsessively reading wikipedia articles for three hours because reasons. I had reasons at the time but hell if I remember what they were.
  • I spent like a week as a Wiccan and witch before getting bored (otherwise I've identified as an atheist for almost ten years now). I also genuinely thought I had magic powers for a bit there.
  • Cut a heart into my thigh with my razor cause it 'looked cute'.
  • Stole some of my sister's old oxycodone prescription, crushed, and snorted it to try and calm down my mind because I was thinking and feeling EVERYTHING at once.

 

Feel free to share! I like the idea of threads like these cause it gives the opportunity to share experiences and feel less alone.

Edited by jacques
Additional information and typo fixes

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I threw things of mine away that had any bit of info that could identify me.  I really regret throwing so much stuff away ... the stuff that really matters type-things.

Threw 2 trash bags of perfectly good clothes out because I "thought" I was moving to "somewhere else" and was "told" that the less I had (in my possession) the easier and quicker the move could get done in.

I did a lot of things that I am choosing not to remember.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh man. Gonna limit myself to three things otherwise I'll be here all day.

- Fasted because God and the angels were telling me that I had to in order to prove my faith.

- Stood in front of the bus that takes you across the border in the foreign country because the border guards were giving my friend a hard time. Also screamed at the guards and had guns pointed at me from watchtowers. No fear.

- Hid under a desk and threatened anyone who tried to approach me with a razor.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

- Stuck a sewing pin right into my arm and cut open part of my leg (separate occasions) because I 'wanted to see what was in there'.

- Spent a lot of time crying uncontrollably behind pieces of equipment at work, for serious legitimate reasons such as 'there are no spiders in this country and that's weird', or 'I can't tell whether the guy I'm supervising is really Anakin Skywalker but I don't feel like I can ask him to check', or 'they're trying to poison me again'. For the record, there were so spiders in that country, he wasn't, and I was having a bad reaction to green tea.

- Made a freakshow of myself on a work trip. I thought I was a monster so I ran about roaring at people, then randomly ran off home. They laughed because they thought I was messing about, but I was completely out of control.

- Had a long conversation with a fish in a French aquarium. It had some really important messages for me.

- Spent a whole day whispering to this guy at work because I thought he was a hallucination, but he was actually there. I told him why I was whispering too, but he assumed it was a weird joke.

- Got lost on my own road, with a map. Got very distressed about it and had to sit down for 15 minutes. Got lost in various other places I went every day. Then went somewhere new abroad and decided not to take a map because I was 'better than that' and just strode off in any old direction until I found what I was looking for (somehow it worked!).

- Spent a lot of time hiding in the bathroom at work because I needed time to think about my Important World-Changing Ideas and the book I was going to write about proof about life after death. And all the other world-changing books, there have been many. This happens even during weaker hypomania.

- Tried to teach myself the cancan between 1am-3am every night for a fortnight and obsessively watched old cancan footage. Not sure how I didn't hurt myself, since I'm very uncoordinated.

- Decided to climb a countryside hill by myself in the pitch dark at in a different country 2am without telling anyone where I was going. A man followed me so I hid behind a rock, doubled back and ran like the clappers until I was safely back in civilisation. I never told anyone about this because I'm ashamed of how much unnecessary danger I put myself in, but at the time I felt like I'd explode if I didn't do it and that I was somehow invincible.

- All sorts of smaller incidents involving talking a lot of garbage, communing with nature, whipping some of my clothes off in public, being everyone's new best friend, dancing without music in odd places (supermarket/lab/fountains), and running around outside laughing with no shoes or jumper even in freezing rain because I was 'impervious to weather'.

 

And still the doctor I saw before Christmas told me it was 'just anxiety'.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fucked a lot of things that weren't a dick

Edited by KnickNak
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Mr_Turtle said:

- Decided to climb a countryside hill by myself in the pitch dark at in a different country 2am without telling anyone where I was going. A man followed me so I hid behind a rock, doubled back and ran like the clappers until I was safely back in civilisation. I never told anyone about this because I'm ashamed of how much unnecessary danger I put myself in, but at the time I felt like I'd explode if I didn't do it and that I was somehow invincible.

 

International travel and psychosis are a bad, bad combo.

Yes, I did this on a small island off the coast of Ireland in mid-winter. I followed a small dog up the hill convinced it was leading me somewhere important. Then it got dark. Very, very dark. I lost track of the dog and was just stuck in the pitch black not knowing where the hell I was. I knew there was a cliff ledge somewhere close but the wind was drowning out any sense of where the ocean was. At this point I was feeling, not seeing my way around.

Quite suddenly I thought I heard the dog crying out, in that distinct way a wounded animal does.  I believed someone had killed it and was sure they were nearby and coming for me. I started running, but ended up slogging through a sort of muddy swamp-like area. I waded through it, and the mud was up to my knees at one point. I encountered a few non-plussed cows along the way. Finally, I started seeing some lights in the distance.

I told the people I was traveling with that someone killed a dog on the hill. I had been out of my mind for 2 weeks by that point so I think they just nodded and hoped I would go away to some other area of the hostel. 

 

Edited by saintalto

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, saintalto said:

International travel and psychosis are a bad, bad combo.

Yes, I did this on a small island off the coast of Ireland in mid-winter. I followed a small dog up the hill convinced it was leading me somewhere important. Then it got dark. Very, very dark. I lost track of the dog and was just stuck in the pitch black not knowing where the hell I was. I knew there was a cliff ledge somewhere close but the wind was drowning out any sense of where the ocean was. At this point I was feeling, not seeing my way around.

Quite suddenly I thought I heard the dog crying out, in that distinct way a wounded animal does.  I believed someone had killed it and was sure they were nearby and coming for me. I started running, but ended up slogging through a sort of muddy swamp-like area. I waded through it, and the mud was up to my knees at one point. I encountered a few non-plussed cows along the way. Finally, I started seeing some lights in the distance.

I told the people I was traveling with that someone killed a dog on the hill. I had been out of my mind for 2 weeks by that point so I think they just nodded and hoped I would go away to some other area of the hostel. 

 

That's why I don't have a passport. I really don't want to wake up to the realization that I've joined the crew of a pirate ship in Somalia. It's not as far-fetched as it sounds. Mania and psychosis have led me to some really screwed-up things. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tend to be under the illusion that I'm literally immortal when manic. (that's when I get psychotic)

I used to cross the street without looking left or right. 

I used to sing all the time and run around like an idiot.

Once I cooked 10 plates of pasta in the middle of the night and woke up everyone and told them food is ready.

I've spend lots of money, got payday loans, took lots of party drugs. I spend £500 within 24 hours when I was at a festival.

and the most embarrassing thing was flirting with nurses when I was inpatient.

plus lots of silly things that wouldn't sound too original around here

Edited by The Right Honourable Jimmy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Flash said:

That's why I don't have a passport. I really don't want to wake up to the realization that I've joined the crew of a pirate ship in Somalia. It's not as far-fetched as it sounds. Mania and psychosis have led me to some really screwed-up things. 

Good thinking. A doctor later told me travel can trigger manic episodes or worsen them.

I'd like to go back there sometime and see everything again because I don't really count that as a vacation spent on planet earth.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Had an auditory hallucination and freaked out, so invited the neighbor to come listen and he heard absolutely nothing, and then stayed away from me for the rest of the time that I lived there...

Thought I was special and that god/The Source had chosen me for something spiritually big...

Went crazy and nearly stabbed myself with a pair of office scissors, prompting the police to come take me away on a stretcher tied down, from my work place in front of co-workers...

 

Perhaps many more but am foggy at the moment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

- Middle of the night baking (brownies, cakes, cookies etc)

- Ran away from home because I was given a mission from supernatural beings and knew if I made it to New Mexico that I would achieve fame and fortune (was a teenager for this one)

- Attempted to convert friends and family to a new religion that I was "tasked" with forming. This religion was a mixture of satanism, demon worship and eastern philosophy. I also spent a pretty good amount of money ordering books and other supplies so I could do this.

- Shoplifted as a teenager because I thought I was working undercover with security. Sidenote: I did get caught. Worse was the fact that I stole stupid shit like beads, packs of pens, erasers, cleaning sponges and other odds and ends. 

- Hung around Neo Nazi's because I was going to write a novel about them. 

- Became convinced that there was a listening device implanted somewhere in my body so others could steal my ideas. Attempted to find said device and got hospitalized for self mutilation. 

- Many many sexual encounters that make me cringe. 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ran up a whopping £20k worth of debt. I'm still paying it back now and will probably never get credit again.

Slept with four different women in a sixteen hour period.

Took enough drugs to kill a small elephant. All downers to try and calm myself, ketamine and shit like that. Not a good choice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh I almost forgot, tried to grow poppies for opium down by a creek near my old workplace. 

Around that same time, was trying to pimp out my hot friend. She was down for it, and I got a cellphone just for johns and got it all set up before a friend of hers offered to pay her $3000 not to become a 'lady of the night'. She took his money instead. 

Went Skinny Dipping in the disgusting Puyallup River down on the beach under the train tressles, and lost my underwear and one of the bottom halves of my zip-off shorts/cargo pants combo. 

Raced a friend in my 6 cylindar Nissan against her 4 cylinder Toyota at over 100mph on a straight stretch of freeway, drunk, at 4 o'clock in the morning. I won. <--- I deeply regret this, this could have ended SO BADLY

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, saintalto said:

Good thinking. A doctor later told me travel can trigger manic episodes or worsen them.

I'd like to go back there sometime and see everything again because I don't really count that as a vacation spent on planet earth.

Yeah, I like to travel when I'm manic. And move too. It has been hell on my finances. I have moved 26 times, only three of which occurred before age 18. When I'm manic, I buy property. I pay over asking price, and then sell it for a loss. One place I never even moved into, because I melted down before that could happen. I now ask my friends (online friends, because I've burned all the other bridges) to evaluate things for me, so I don't do something stupid. I tell them about the signs and what they need to look out for, because I can't afford another financial disaster. The thing is, that I feel fucking great when I'm manic. It's better than any drug. And I just go cuckoo. Hypomania is not as problematic. I'll buy 80 banh mi sandwiches for homeless people, over $500 on tea ingredients, and shitloads of kitchen appliances (dehydrators, stand mixers, steam ovens, and things like that), but I won't lose $57,000 on a real estate transaction.

But I sometimes come up with really hairbrained things while hypo. One time I was going to convert my basement into a huge hydroponic garden with artificial lamps and all the bells and whistles. I used three reams of paper making plans for that. Another time, I was going to build an indoor swimming pool in my basement. It made so much sense at the time, but was obviously foolish. I have no idea how much paper I wasted on that. I sketch a lot and make spreadsheets. LOTS and LOTS of spreadsheets. I have thousands of them. I don't sleep much and have all this extra energy, so all of these crazy ideas get born.

But when I'm completely manic, I'm so high that I'm on cloud 9. I'm in a completely different space, and I might not  make any sense at all. But I might move to Honolulu and become a prostitute. So anyway, I don't want a passport. If I did have one, I probably would have been sold into slavery somewhere. There are a number of places I'd like to visit, but it's just not worth it. The risk is just way too high. 

I sometimes think I'm on a mission for God, even though I'm not religious at all. But you can't ignore it, because your head is so clouded. It sounds ridiculous, and it is, but you can't extricate yourself from the problem either. I have tried to educate my friends (online, because I have burned all the other bridges) to recognize the signs, so I can avoid another catastrophe. But ultimately, I think it's inevitable. I hope it's not, and for now I place my hope  there. I do get very tired of it all sometimes, however. I just want relief. I want a normal life. I don't want to be this cuckoo person. And it seems obtainable sometimes, but things always go south on me.

Edited by Flash

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/9/2017 at 10:10 PM, Zerobunny said:

I really really really thought I could go to mars. Like really.

I did too. When I was a kid though, and anything's possible when you're a kid! :-D   ... now I just think about how scary it would be to go in a space shuttle into outer space! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I deeply regret my first manic episode. I had sex with a stranger, quit grad school, maxed out two credit cards (AND made $6000 in my bank account disappear in a matter of days). I also went for over 3 weeks on about an hour of sleep a night, and the regular doctor I was seeing at the time couldn't get me to sleep even with sleeping pills. I alienated family members and looked like a total lunatic to all my friends.

And now I'm manic again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

More to add. 

I ended up going for a walk, only to lick rock salt off the ground on impulse and walk on train tracks just for fun, partially cause "dodging trains is fun". I also ended up barking at some strange dogs in a yard for like five minutes and, after knocking over one of my pop figures, sat there consoling it and hugging it to its 'satisfaction' before putting it back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just a few:

- bought a brand new iPad and then quit my job without another lined up

- just spending all my money in general on new projects that I drop later on

- ran away to live with my boyfriend for 7 months when my parents told me I couldn't be with him

- came out to almost my entire family on impulse over text messages

- lots of irrational behavior out of paranoia and delusions

- a looot of weird shit during a time when I actually believed I was a vampire with magical abilities

- tried to magically control the weather and believed I was special and magical

- just a lot of weird shit from psychosis

- also I've quit and then restarted college three times

Edited by ohjustchillin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

- This one time I almost got married and was going to move to Alabama ... luckily my fear of commitment kicked in when his parents said, "welcome to the family."  The ring is really pretty though.

- I've been to Hawaii, Mexico, the Bahamas, and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter despite the fact that I make $11/hr and work part-time.

- Oh, and I have a brand new car.

- I changed majors and colleges 6 times.  I finally landed on the one that I'm genuinely passionate about and going to see through to the end: Nursing.  However, past majors included (in order): dance, international studies, archaeology, special education, and astrophysics.

- Many sexual indiscretions and scandals.  I wore a shirt that had 'all the rumors are true' written across it, Easy-A style.

- For a long time in high school I believed that I was some kind of reincarnated ancient super-spirit or something like that.  I would suddenly start channeling my ancient soul and speak its language.  I was pretty quirky and funny, so my friends thought I was joking and that it was hilarious. 

- There were many times when I would go, like, 24 hours without sleep because sleep is for squares.

- I almost opened a bookstore.  Had it all planned out, the name, how I wanted it decorated, everything.  I know absolutely nothing about business.

- Helicopter pilot.  I was determined to become a helicopter pilot and work for Green Peace and stuff like that.

- My non-profit that I was going to start that would provide every kind of service you could think of for free with no government funding, so that Republicans would have nothing to complain about.  Honestly though, I still would really like if that became a thing.

- I was convinced that I was meant to lead some kind of great revolution and change the world.

- The time I flipped shit and took off the the beach ... at 110 mph ... with a backpack full of books that I was going to read all in one day ... forgot where I was going halfway there ... was convinced I had been on the road for 2 hours and it had only been 15 mins ... stopped on the side of the highway in MD, called Mom, and had a total mental breakdown  ... convinced Mom not to call the state troopers ... went to the beach and happily swam in the ocean and then read a book.  The beach is 3 hours away.  I was originally going to go to FL (6 states south), but decided against it.  Two months later, after I was finally stable, I realized I had forgotten to renew my registration and have my car inspected and done all of this while they had been expired ... for several months.

- I went through this phase where I would just start changing in front of people.  Nakedness is next to Godliness, what can I say.

- I literally thought that I was Jesus.  Not even kidding.  Somehow I was able to know that it was likely not a good idea to tell anybody that ...

- One of my favorite moments -- the time I woke my roommate up in the middle of the night because I was pissed off about racism and bigotry and how people need to stop teaching their children to hate and people need to start being kind to each other and stop acting like jackasses.  It was literally the middle of the night.  I went on for at least and hour, possibly more.

- So many more things.

Edited by Lorelion
correction

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/8/2017 at 4:03 PM, aura said:

- Stood in front of the bus that takes you across the border in the foreign country because the border guards were giving my friend a hard time. Also screamed at the guards and had guns pointed at me from watchtowers. No fear.

I identify with this one so much, aura.  I can't even tell you how many times I've gone off at cops and other authorities because I don't like injustice and they were abusing their power.  How I haven't been arrested is a mystery to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well let's see.  

I bought a car after dinner one night.  It was manual and I can't drive stick. Tried to drive it once.....too hard.  

Became convinced the trees and sky were looking at me, waving at me and knew me. We were one.  Really though I still know this as true.  Just can't shake it.

Masturbated just about everywhere.  Had sex in really odd places.   Worst/best was in the courtyard of a local church. The acoustics were fucking awesome. Pun intended. 

Bought a  complete cowgirl outfit via amazon.   Shirt, hat, jeans, boots and a leather duster. 

Way too many Amazon nights of shame to list.  

Took my car in for an oil change and bought a new one. 

I got a car thing. 

 

 

Edited by dragonfly23

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mine are kinda boring. I don't sleep and do things like feel the pressing urge to clean the house at 3:00 am, I don't usually do much housekeeping when I am stable. I think my overriding fear of spending money shifts my manic urges from spending to making things. I do a lot of house renovation type stuff that I don't have any idea how to do but I get obsessed with and it seems I have to do it. Also write things that seem so brilliant and insightful but they are horribly written and I get rid of later when I am sane. After long enough without sleep it goes over to a mixed episode where I have lots of energy but everything in life seems horrid, hopeless and meaningless and I'm suicidal, then if it is bad enough I have a little psychosis to top things off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×