OliverB

How do you tell people about your MI issues?

11 posts in this topic

I am trying to push myself out of my isolation existence, I want to make friends, true friends....

and I wonder... what when I have to tell them about my MI health issues? 

I don't intent to tell the first person I meet the first time... but when there is a friendship building.......

 

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You don't have to tell anyone. I would side on being discrete. You can't take it back once you tell people. 

you may be putting the cart before the horse. First try to make new friends. Then decide when you think they would "need" to know or you would want them to know.

i have thought about this a bit myself. It was hard for me when I felt like I had a secret. Now, I am more open, but it is safe for me to be. I work in a position where I am required to have had mental health treatment.  I was worried when my children were younger that they would be treated differently if people knew I had a dx, but now they are in high school and it doesn't worry me as much.

I am pretty open. I work in the field, I Volunteer giving presentations on my experience, I have made YouTube videos, and some live streams. Most of my friends I have met through meetings or volunteering so we share having a mental health condition. I don't bring it up in most other company.

i am on ssdi also, and I never mention that. It is a very controversial subject and I don't want to discuss it or try to defend myself.

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13 hours ago, OliverB said:

I am trying to push myself out of my isolation existence, I want to make friends, true friends....

and I wonder... what when I have to tell them about my MI health issues? 

I don't intent to tell the first person I meet the first time... but when there is a friendship building.......

 

For me, I would take the opportunity only if it comes up in conversation ... I wouldn't flat out say it, but if it fits into the conversation I would do it.

Confused has some good points:  You can't take it back.  But on the other hand, you might want someone to know, ie as in building a friendship.  As I was saying though, I wouldn't blurt it out.  Only if it worked in the conversation.

About being on SSDI, I completely agree about it being controversial.  The only problem I find is when someone asks me 'do you work,' or 'what do you do with your day.'  I don't have answers for that other than 'no, I don't work,' ... and the eventual default for me is telling them I have a MI and am on SSDI.  I don't have other ideas to say back in response.

Look forward to reading others' responses.

 

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Posted (edited)

I don't. Its nobody's business. Not unless it is somewhere like here. And I certainly don't disclose that I'm on a pension. Both of them are private. 

If you have a partner, that's a different story, but friends, I don't think they need to know. But I have none, and don't care to have any, so what do I know?   

Edited by Hopelessly Broken

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2 hours ago, Hopelessly Broken said:

I don't. Its nobody's business. Not unless it is somewhere like here. And I certainly don't disclose that I'm on a pension. Both of them are private. 

If you have a partner, that's a different story, but friends, I don't think they need to know. But I have none, and don't care to have any, so what do I know?   

Out of curiosity ... what do you say when/if someone asks you 'Do you work' ?  Even though it isn;t their business, is there something you say to get around the question, to put the ball back in their court and re-direct the conversation?

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I only tell people when it comes up in conversation. If I've been acting strangely (as is quite common) and people want to know what's going on. Most of my friends know about my sza but not my AsPD, only my best friend knows about that and she keeps it to herself. So yeah, only mention it when it becomes necessary to tell someone about it imo.

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I used to just tell people and they were cool with it, but now days I try and keep my bipolar and anxiety a secret because it seems like the stigma is so bad (especially in Utah where I live) that if people found out, even friends that got close, I think they might question the friendship. 

I'd wait until super good friends that I know I could trust, and then tell them about it, in passing perhaps. LIke it's not a big deal. And hopefully they'd realize it's not a big deal, and you've been super cool up to that point so there'd be no need to freak out...

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Posted (edited)

I mostly agree with everyone else........Don't tell a friend unless you feel it's absolutely necessary,  AND you trust that person enough to know they won't "spread it around"....

When it comes to someone you're dating, it's a little different...If you're getting into a serious relationship with that person, they would certainly need to know, and you should be honest with them.

I'm not exactly proud that I'm on disability, and don't discuss that with anyone except close family members...

I'd really give anything to be able to do the job I used to do,  but if someone asks me about what kind of work I do, I tell them I "retired early". (I'm in my 50's, so this wouldn't be totally unbelievable).

Edited by CrazyRedhead

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Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, melissaw72 said:

Out of curiosity ... what do you say when/if someone asks you 'Do you work' ?  Even though it isn;t their business, is there something you say to get around the question, to put the ball back in their court and re-direct the conversation?

Simple, they don't. I have nobody in my existence that would ask, and nobody has ever asked. If they did, I would say its not their business. I am an adult and I have every right to choose what I disclose. If they are bothered by it, that is their problem, not mine, unless they are in a position where I have to tell them. 

But like I said, I barely talk to anyone. 

Edited by Hopelessly Broken

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6 minutes ago, Hopelessly Broken said:

I have nobody in my existence that would ask, and nobody has ever asked

You are very fortunate!

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Hardly. That is because I have basically zero abusive people in my existence. 

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