7 posts in this topic
Has anyone become numb, severely depressed, "blank" minded after ECT and recovered? I wasn't depressed prior to ECT, and the "ECT specialist" thought I had a "rare form of Bipolar." After my 5th bilateral session I started to feel "off" and different, and subsequently plunged into a deep depression. A few months later my mind went "blank"/silent after experiencing strong negative thoughts and emotions, and now I feel totally flat (this was becoming gradual until the blank mind), disconnected from my self and others/family, etc.
Has anyone experienced something similar and recovered their emotions and "self" again?
Checking in after feeling good for a few months and then having two complete bipolar cycles in TWO days. I have no idea why I'm feeling this way and I'm pretty sick of it. I'd been avoiding ECT for years, but at this point I've tried so many medications that I put "too many to count" on my newest doc's intake form. I literally have taken everything currently and formerly on the market except Geodon and ... maybe Tegretol or Depakote. I can't remember which one of those I was blessed enough to miss out on. Anyone have any idea if ECT is a good idea for bipolar, but at this point I'll pull out any of the options I have. I looked it up as much as I could and it seems NAMI, Mayo Clinic, and the NIH say it can be used for bipolar that's resistant to medications.
To be clear, I have BP1, OCD, and some sort of anxiety (pdoc thinks social anxiety). I only started having manias in the last 4-5 years and my rapid cycling is going insanely rapid.
Currently on Lamictal (150mg), Lexapro (20mg), Trileptal (900mg in two separate doses), Abilify (5mg) and Lorazepam (1mg at night for sleep). It worked for three months and then I totally lost it after a stressful phone call.
Is ECT my next step here?
i have been here on CB since 2009 and this is my first time posting in seven years. anyone from chat who knows my background knows why. after a hellatious summer things have crashed again. (for those who haven't been watching me go bonkers in chat). three of the docs agree it's time for ECT and my system needs a break from the meds,some of which go back over 20 years... the cocktail has grown to six meds when i was on four before and last IP was to go down. got the appt on the books to see the psychiatrist (p-doc) and he was very supportive of the idea. the insurance approved it. so all of the hard paperwork pieces are done. since i have been suicidal he wants me IP. my poor tummy has shut down, had the pleasure of gastroenterology. the tummy top and bottom are healthy physically. but i'm battling dehydration still. the social worker has been trying several times a day to get me into the nearest psychiatric facility that is 90 miles away. vermont has an online database of open psychiatric space she can look at and what she can see are also saturated. for those who don't know, i live in the middle of nowhere in vermont just south of the quebec border in northern new england. she has been calling them early in the morning and through out the day every day. the next facility is 140 miles away. mass general in boston is 225 miles away. the social worker at p-docs office has been seeing me daily since this has been identified. so we talked about finding a different way in, i.e.the back door as we would call it in the military. so i call the triage nurse in the ER and they have several people stacked up camping out for IP space, they sent six down to boston this week. they said there has been some bad heroin going around which has saturated treatment facilities since september in northern new england. i can appreciate that as one of my homies from the old days recently overdosed - fatally. morale has been in the toilet, but after speaking to the hospital, it is now somewhere in the septic tank. so i'm kind of lost now. i'm posting this here as i imagine people in chat are tired of hearing this over and over and over. i waited too long to seek IP in the spring, but now i'm trying to act now but cannot find help.
So, you may have read my post about Deep TMS and how it saved my life. Unfortunately, my feelings were short lived. My last treatment was Wednesday 4\27\2016. As soon as I tapered down to one treatment a week, I was sent into a depressive fog. I became suicidial, depressed, isolative, and started to self injure. My treatment team is very aware and I live in a boarding home so I am pretty safe.
I am on suicidial checks and also just hang out in the community. I, still am on the end of my rope.
So, next step: ECT. I hope it works.