OliverB

It's time to tell my pdoc and I am scared about it

64 posts in this topic

12 hours ago, OliverB said:

No options, I am still with my pdoc. It is not that bad in the end, he said he believes I have Complex PTSD. I never told him anything about complex PTSD, I was shocked in a possitive way when he said it.

Nice to hear from you here OliverB, how are the meds & everything going? Do you feel relieved that your pdoc agrees with your diagnosis? What are the next steps with getting the help/recovery that you need?

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On 22/2/2017 at 10:01 AM, cloudmonger said:

Nice to hear from you here OliverB, how are the meds & everything going? Do you feel relieved that your pdoc agrees with your diagnosis? What are the next steps with getting the help/recovery that you need?

 Thank you,

I am only on Concerta and gabapentin, I am not happy but not that bad either, I guess I am improving. And finally I am beginning psychotherapy with my pdoc , the diagnosis issue was really validating. I think things with him will improve a lot since now. My next step is clarify my objective and tell him something about my past, it will be this Tuesday, I hope it goes well I have written a letter...

 

How are you doing? With lamictal? Could you find a pdoc that gives you stimulants for depression?

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9 hours ago, OliverB said:

he diagnosis issue was really validating. I think things with him will improve a lot since now.

I understand how getting the diagnosis was validating.  It feels (at least to me) like 'finally, someone believes me.'  And then can work from there.

I hope things do improve for you.  I am glad you have written a letter ... IME those can be incredibly helpful.

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15 hours ago, OliverB said:

 Thank you,

I am only on Concerta and Gabapentin, I am not happy but not that bad either, I guess I am improving. And finally I am beginning psychotherapy with my pdoc , the diagnosis issue was really validating. I think things with him will improve a lot since now. My next step is clarify my objective and tell him something about my past, it will be this Tuesday, I hope it goes well I have written a letter...

How are you doing? With Lamictal? Could you find a pdoc that gives you stimulants for depression?

Glad to hear you're doing better! I'm on same dose of Lamictal (stabilizing like Gabapentin), ok at the moment, but still depressed with incredible anhedonia. Started another trial of Abilify as adjunct, but too scared to go up more than 2.5mg due to side effects everyone talks about. It could be helping a bit, I'm on a sub-therapeutic dose though.

My current pdoc said she cannot rx stimulants but she can refer me to someone else that does. I will make an appt soon, because it really helped me in the past get over the anhedonia and residual dysthymia. I am just hoping that they don't have to go through an entire new assessment & interview in order to rx it. They don't prescribe it here for depression or other issues other than severe childhood ADHD which is not really my primary ongoing issue.

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3 hours ago, cloudmonger said:

Started another trial of Abilify as adjunct, but too scared to go up more than 2.5mg due to side effects everyone talks about.

I didn't have any side effects with the abilify ... I hope you don't either.

3 hours ago, cloudmonger said:

My current pdoc said she cannot rx stimulants

Just curious ... why can't she prescribe stimulants? 

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2 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I didn't have any side effects with the abilify ... I hope you don't either.

Just curious ... why can't she prescribe stimulants? 

No idea...she told me this during our first appointment. I gave her a laundry list of every med I've tried with the few "best ones" at the top of the list. I'm in europe and the rules are different here I guess. They consider stimulants really addictive/subject to misuse or something and most pdocs cannot rx it for off-label diagnosis (I'm guessing).

Ritalin helped me a great deal. I told her that it had no side effects. I felt calm, focused, it eradicated the negative side effects of the SSRI I was on at that time. I felt much better, motivated, positive. I was able to become engaged in life again.

Edited by cloudmonger

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I am just reading this but benzos plus alcohol does not make you stop breathing. It can't kill you. With barbiturates these kind of things can happen 

and that is the reason benzos were invented, they don't have a risk of death that barbiturates do. Barbiturates are rarely prescribed today. 

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2 hours ago, notloki said:

benzos plus alcohol does not make you stop breathing.  It can't kill you.

Enough of benzos + enough alcohol could.

 

https://www.thecabinchiangmai.com/xanax-and-alcohol-a-combination-that-could-kill/

Quote

 

The Dangerous Side Effects of Mixing Alcohol and Xanax

There are some serious side effects that can occur from combining alcohol and Xanax.

‘Minor’ side effects include:

  • Extreme dizziness
  • Abnormal behaviour
  • Tiredness
  • Impaired coordination
  • Memory problems

More critical side effects include:

  • Hives
  • Swelling of the lips, tongue or throat
  • Severe depression
  • Hyperactivity
  • Agitation and hostility
  • Hallucinations
  • Light-headedness
  • Seizures
  • Slowed respiratory and heart rates
  • Slipping in and out of consciousness
  • Breathing difficulties
  • Cardiac arrest
  • Death

 

Edited by melissaw72

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7 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

 

Give me one specific of a person who has died from benzos and alcohol alone. It is just an unreasonable amount of pills, more than one could take. You are likely to throw up if you tried to force feed that many pills. You need to addition of something that really suppresses respiration, namely strong opioids or barbiturates.

Edited by notloki

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1 hour ago, notloki said:

 

Give me one specific of a person who has died from benzos and alcohol alone. It is just an unreasonable amount of pills, more than one could take. You are likely to throw up if you tried to force feed that many pills. You need to addition of something that really suppresses respiration, namely strong opioids or barbiturates.

Whitney Houston, a possibility.

 

There are a few things that have been said on-line about her death, and then I found the autopsy report:

http://www.autopsyfiles.org/reports/Celebs/houston, whitney_report.pdf

Page one describes some things about prescription meds and alcohol, but if I read this correctly, I think the final report (on another page) was of cocaine and something else.

 

As I was looking on-line for all of this, there were speculations about the xanax and alcohol and her death (see links below).  But as I was continuing to read stuff, in the WH  articles, it didn't just give the speculations; it gave reference to why (in general) xanax and alcohol abuse can be deadly.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/02/13/whitney-houston-s-death-xanax-and-alcohol-deadly-duo.html

Quote

But of all the things that people ingest, there are few combinations more life-threatening than alcohol and benzodiazepines—the class of sedatives that includes Xanax, Valium, and Klonopin.

The reason? When taken together, alcohol and Xanax have what’s known as an additive effect, which means that in the presence of Xanax, alcohol is made more potent than it would be alone.

Both alcohol and benzodiazepines work by depressing the central nervous system of the body, reducing the activity of several broad-stroke mental functions, such as thought, memory, coordination, and respiration.

 

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/whitney-houston-death-anti-anxiety-meds-kill-abused-combined-alcohol-article-1.1021863

Quote

Each drug magnifies the effect of the other,” said Dr. Greg Bunt of Daytop New York.

Withdrawal from these drugs can also be a killer.

“It can absolutely lead to seizure and death,” said Fred Keane, the clinic director at Mountainside. “It can cause a heart attack.”

----------

But overall, why would xanax, alcohol, and death be all over the internet then, cautioning people about the deadly side effects, if it wasn't true? 

Examples:

http://drugabuse.com/library/concurrent-alcohol-and-alprazolam-abuse/#combined-effects-of-alprazolam-and-alcohol-abuse

Quote

and drinking in combination with alprazolam can result in fatal respiratory depression—or dangerously slowed breathing. Alcohol and alprazolam both potentiate the activity of the inhibitory neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) in the brain. This neurotransmitter is responsible for muting widespread excitation in the brain and, when its actions are ramped up, can result in sedation. When these depressants are mixed together, over-sedation may occurs—a serious problem that can progress to coma or even death.

--------------

https://www.elementsbehavioralhealth.com/featured/the-most-lethal-alcohol-drug-combinations/

Quote

A similar combination is alcohol with any type of sleeping or anti-anxiety pills. These, like alcohol, are depressants, and taking them with alcohol multiplies the sedative effect.

They work together to cause the effect, which can lead to death in some people.

 

 

 

Edited by melissaw72

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1 hour ago, notloki said:

It is just an unreasonable amount of pills, more than one could take.

It isn't a matter of taking both, it is when they are taken together that can cause the sedative effect, and eventually in some people, death.

Edited by melissaw72

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How are you doing? I hope you are okay.

My dad is a psychiatrist, and he explained DID to me in the late 70s. It wasn't called DID back then, but I can't remember what it *was* called. Now that I know a few people with DID, I can look back and see that my dad was wrong about some of the details, but the overall point was he knew about it in the 70s. It is kind of shocking that there are still psychiatrists that flat out don't believe in it. It's one thing to say you're the first DID patient he's ever had, or he would prefer you see a specialist, but to deny its existence is ridiculous.

Did I really use DID 4 times in that little paragraph? 

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ETA: I realize he didn't deny its existence, I meant the average psychiatrist who doesn't know.

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@OliverB How are you doing?

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      Due to being bullied, I was growing my hair long, and they called me "Sissyface" and it was so bad that I shaved my head off and wore sunglasses. But the happy ending is that I disappeared from public and went to another town to spend the rest of the summer in which it turned out a good one, then I changed my appearance drastically, then no one including the bullies have noticed me at all in which, it was a happy ending.  
      If I have traumatic bad days, I would go to my bedroom and have a nap for 2 hours, then I wake up and pretend that It is a new day. In which I begin to cry hysterically that I love that day better than the last one.  
      After all of these years that I been through, I have thousands of Mental Scars in my brain. I still have flashbacks, hyper vigilance, distressing memories, intrusive thoughts and memories, violent revenge fantasies, severe anxiety, multiple phobias, excessive seeking help, impulsivity (shaving my head to the skin everyday, always on the go and excessive spending sprees), avoidance behavior if hyper vigilance is worsening, avoiding triggers, bits of pieces of memory of the traumatic event, maladaptive daydreaming, excessive crying (after a flashback is over), mild dissociation, mind wandering, fear that I am re-experiencing trauma, blank stare (when being traumatized) social isolation, growing up too fast, and thoughts of running away. I only get mild nightmares related to the trauma, once in a while, but mostly 95% of the time, I have good dreams, (i use it to escape from trauma). I tend to get traumatized more easily when something is bad. When I get yelled at, raising their voice, being criticized, and disciplined, It triggers flashbacks and undiagnosed Complex PTSD attacks causing re-traumatization and psychological shock that could lead to having a future flashback, distressing memories, revenge fantasies, intrusive thoughts and memories of the recent traumatic event, but when telling the counselor, I cannot remember some parts of the trauma.
      The only symptoms that I don't have is, Self-harming, Nightmares and difficulty sleeping (except If I was having a flashback, in which it lasts from 1 to 3 hours then crying for an extra 1 hour after a flashback)
      I wear sunglasses to hide myself from the public and to ease anxiety attacks in which without wearing it, I could become dizzy, even can lead to panic attacks and I could possibly faint (due to suffering from an anxiety disorder). 
      Sometimes, I would write a brutal lyrics on Facebook based on my trauma. 
      Would you tell me if i am suffering from an undiagnosed Borderline or Complex PTSD?
    • By wadjet
      I have this thing about me that I haven't told a therapist because in the past it has always been under control or at least predictable and useful. I don't know how to even describe it well because I feel like I am lying every time I try to because I can't figure out how to say what is really going on. This thing about me is changing and I can't stop it or control it anymore. In all other ways I am doing better than I ever have. I don't know if this thing changing is me getting better, it doesn't feel like it.
      So this is kinda what is happening. I don't think I have dissociative Identity disorder so I'm sorry if some of this sounds like I do. I don't know what this is. I thought it was normal until a reference I read made me think it wasn't and now I am having a problem with it. I have several people in my mind, but they are all me. They are all at different distances from what I think of as my core. Different ones are "the face" depending on what is going on or who I am with. The ones furthest out from my core are what I used to describe as dissociation to my therapist because how that "face" feels seemed to match. Like most panic attacks I have are with my core and when they are bad enough one of the outer people become the face and I look normal to the outside even though I am still having a panic attack. I have always had this since I remember and when bad things were happening an outer person was the face and was sort of protecting the core people. 
      Most of the time in the past whoever was the "face" was predictable and controllable. My core people only come out when it is safe or won't disturb people like crying in front of someone that would be upset by that. I wouldn't say they are different personalities, but they have different feelings and are experts in different feelings or situations, but they are all me. 
      This doesn't really describe well what is going on because I have never used words to say it and so it feels like I am lying. Anyway, there have been some instances where all the people merged into the core. I felt like I was going to explode. I couldn't put on the right face and the emotions were horrible. It was like I was experiencing only being one person, even though I know I am only one person. I felt like there was no walls or separation or something and I was feeling all the people all at once. AHH! I can't explain. 
      Does anyone know what the hell this is? How do I tell my therapist I am freaking out because I keep having periods where I am one person? Do people really only go around as one person all the time? how do they do that?
    • By writetolife
      Hi all, 
      I'm new here, so if this conversation has already happened, would you kindly point me to the correct thread?
      I'm in a tad of predicament.  My therapist wants me to be doing something to express and "process" (whatever that means exactly) both my present and past experiences.  Journaling is, of course, the go-to and used to work, but lately it has just triggered me terribly.  Last night, after I tried journaling, I felt like I was going mad (I'm going to guess it was a strong dissociative episode...), and I didn't even talk about anything that crazy.  I'll keep working on timing myself or art journaling, but at the moment, I'm terrified to try again because last night was so hard.  
      Has anyone else experienced this?
      What has worked for you?  What other ways have you found to express yourself without ending up feeling like the world was ending?
      Thanks so much for any help you can offer!
    • By Aniket
      Hi I am new here. I am 27 years old, and for the past 2 months have been experiencing the following symptoms. I have been to several psychiatrists and psychologists, who have told me that I am not experiencing anything remotely close to psychosis. A few have told me that my symptoms are the result of chronic sleep deprivation (I have had a poor sleep pattern for the past 7 months).
       
      1)  Extreme detachment from people and my surroundings- I feel very detached from my surroundings and people, almost as if they are not real, or as if I am far away. Everything feels "strange" and a bit "off". I know this is some kind of a dissociation I am experiencing, but it causes me a lot of worry.
      2) Extreme detachment from my own actions- I almost feel like an automaton, and as if I am on autopilot. I do things essentially unthinkingly. 
      3) Fear of random noises and objects- I can get scared by any noise or any object, partly because of my detachment from my surroundings, and then I get scared thinking it might be a delusion. 
      4) Having random thoughts come into my mind at all days- these aren't really voices but simply random words or streams of thoughts that come in my mind- and I wonder why I am thinking them- when I realise that I am thinking them i stop them. It's hard to explain. It's almost as if my mind is distracted and bringing up random things. This happens during the day, but most prominently during sleep, and both before and after falling asleep. For some reason, I feel confident that I am thinking these things (out of control as they are) because they are exactly the sort of things I'd think, and I can stop them at will. When I think these things during my sleep- they sound like nonsensical gibberish. The kind of things are mundane things or thoughts. 
      5) Lack of motivation to do anything
      6) A conviction that I am going insane- that I am losing control of my mind
       
      Now here is a list of things that make me think it might NOT be psychosis-
      Things  that make me think I might not have schizophrenia
      1) My worry about schizophrenia preceded the onset of these symptoms- I obsessively googled and starting relating symptoms
      2) No genetic history in family
      3) My worry about these symptoms is far greater than symptoms itself
      4) Everyday I seem to be worried or fearful of new things- Nothing really sticks
      5) The doctors and psychiatrists I have met seem certain that it's not schizophrenia
      6) I carry my activities as well as I used to earlier
      7) I talk to people, and unlike schizophrenia I actually yearn for social interaction
      8) I have been a hypochondriac all my life and in the past obsessed about diseases that didn't exist
      9) There were a lot of stress factors in my life prior to this- breakup, worry about exams, worry about being ill etc
      10)I seem to be in touch with reality, and more upset about these symptoms, rather than going through these symptoms unknowingly. It's almost as if I dissect these symptoms.
      11) I have been suffering from sleep problems for the past 5 months- I basically wake up after few hours. Psych things this is the cause of these symptoms.
      12) When I talk to someone or am involved in an activity- every symptom or worry about it, disappears. The worry really leads to more symptoms.
      What do you think?
    • By Aniket
      Hi I am new here. I am 27 years old, and for the past 2 months have been experiencing the following symptoms. I have been to several psychiatrists and psychologists, who have told me that I am not experiencing anything remotely close to psychosis. A few have told me that my symptoms are the result of chronic sleep deprivation (I have had a poor sleep pattern for the past 7 months).
       
      1)  Extreme detachment from people and my surroundings- I feel very detached from my surroundings and people, almost as if they are not real, or as if I am far away. Everything feels "strange" and a bit "off". I know this is some kind of a dissociation I am experiencing, but it causes me a lot of worry.
      2) Extreme detachment from my own actions- I almost feel like an automaton, and as if I am on autopilot. I do things essentially unthinkingly. 
      3) Fear of random noises and objects- I can get scared by any noise or any object, partly because of my detachment from my surroundings, and then I get scared thinking it might be a delusion. 
      4) Having random thoughts come into my mind at all days- these aren't really voices but simply random words or streams of thoughts that come in my mind- and I wonder why I am thinking them- when I realise that I am thinking them i stop them. It's hard to explain. It's almost as if my mind is distracted and bringing up random things. This happens during the day, but most prominently during sleep, and both before and after falling asleep. For some reason, I feel confident that I am thinking these things (out of control as they are) because they are exactly the sort of things I'd think, and I can stop them at will. When I think these things during my sleep- they sound like nonsensical gibberish. The kind of things are mundane things or thoughts. 
      5) Lack of motivation to do anything
      6) A conviction that I am going insane- that I am losing control of my mind
       
      Now here is a list of things that make me think it might NOT be psychosis-
      Things  that make me think I might not have schizophrenia
      1) My worry about schizophrenia preceded the onset of these symptoms- I obsessively googled and starting relating symptoms
      2) No genetic history in family
      3) My worry about these symptoms is far greater than symptoms itself
      4) Everyday I seem to be worried or fearful of new things- Nothing really sticks
      5) The doctors and psychiatrists I have met seem certain that it's not schizophrenia
      6) I carry my activities as well as I used to earlier
      7) I talk to people, and unlike schizophrenia I actually yearn for social interaction
      8) I have been a hypochondriac all my life and in the past obsessed about diseases that didn't exist
      9) There were a lot of stress factors in my life prior to this- breakup, worry about exams, worry about being ill etc
      10)I seem to be in touch with reality, and more upset about these symptoms, rather than going through these symptoms unknowingly. It's almost as if I dissect these symptoms.
      11) I have been suffering from sleep problems for the past 5 months- I basically wake up after few hours. Psych things this is the cause of these symptoms.
      12) When I talk to someone or am involved in an activity- every symptom or worry about it, disappears. The worry really leads to more symptoms.
      What do you think?