7 posts in this topic
I just wanted to pass on a tip from my therapist. I was starting to fall into anorexic remission, when they suggested trying microwaveable meals. They have small portions and almost always have all the components you need for a proper diet. This may be old news to some, but as somebody who has lived most of their lives without a microwave, this was inspiration.
It is great not only because the portions are easy to get through, but you can also have food (almost) instantaneously. So when you feel a weak pang of hunger, you can pop some food into your face in about 2 minutes, encouraging your mind to listen to your body's queues.
Hope this helps somebody get back on track!
So, it's been awhile - i've been away from the boards for quite awhile, hiding out, going inpatient, getting fired, moving, blah blah blah...
Two days ago, i started purging again.
After Two. Fucking. Years.
I've been stressed out. Two jobs - by day, i'm caregiver to a schizophrenic teenager - at night, i bartend fulltime. This week will be my last week bartending full-time; my caregiving job is going full-time, so i'm going to one night a week slinging booze, which is a huge relief. You'd THINK this would be a huge relief, and it is. But, i've gained about 20 lbs due to meds changes. Now, i've gone back on the meds that make me lose weight, which is good - but it's still early on and i'm a former dancer, and extremely controlling about my weight. And, let's face it - i'm a sick little puppy. SO, i started purging. Not even BINGEING and purging, necessarily, although that happens, too.
And the bitch of it is, to control the urge to binge, i swing over into the anorexia side of the spectrum, where eating anything at all makes me feel sick. I'm nauseous all the time, the scale is slowwwwwly,ever so slowly going down, but not fast enough (it's NEVER fast enough is it?).
The craziest part is, i'm not even close to being overweight. My bf loves the fact that i have curves now. I just feel gross.
And speaking of boyfriends, there are issues there, too, which i know are triggering me...but i don't want to get into that, having just blogged about it here.
Anyway, i'm scared, because i've already spent thousands of dollars on repairing my teeth from previous years of damage done to my teeth, and i don't want to be going down this road. Not to mention the damage i've done to my stomach. I have an autoimmune illness, as well. I cannot afford to be doing this to myself, but i can't seem to stop. Today, i can't seem to eat at all - i've tried, but putting food in my mouth makes me sick.
It's a vicious circle. I can't believe i'm back here, after two years of being done with all of this. I guess it's like being an addict - your'e never really done with it.
I guess i feel better just spewing, so to speak, about it all here. Thanks for reading, anyway.
What medications have you found that have worked for binge eating disorder or bulimia? Topamax kinda helps, but I hate the side effects (depression, hair loss, slowed thinking, tiredness, etc....) and was wondering if anybody else had success with any other medications. Or if you've found ways to deal with the cognitive side effects of topamax?
About seven years ago I was diagnosed as anorexic along with other things. The meds I was given made me gain weight (which still makes me freak out sometimes). Anyway, of late I have just been off my feed, so to speak. Food doesn't taste good. I have a nutrional drink (nutribreakfast I think) in the am, maybe a yogurt cup in the afternoon, and a small serving of dinner. The only things that taste good are lemonade and pizza. Most of the time I just drink fluids.
I know when I was first recovering, everything tasted so intense, so new. Maybe my current meds are affecting my taste. I could go a whole day without eating and not care. I just don't want to fall into bad habits again.
Hi y'all.... I am 39 and exhausted 😣 When will this hell end? That moment when you're in the grocery store and you find yourself going down the snack cake isle .... heart starts to race ,you even start to get panicky and hot all over almost break into a sweat hoping that the strong hold of food addiction and the need to purge surpasses. ..... but it doesn't 😢 That bastard wins again! Next you find yourself in the parking lot looking around hoping that no one is around to witness what's about to happen.....
I WANT TO FREE ! I WANT TO LIVE LIFE NORMALLY ! WHYYYYYYY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? TO YOU?