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I was on Seroquel for years and decided to change to Zyprexa hoping that the side effects would be less. Zyprexa turned out to be worse and so I changed back to seroquel and got really bad akathisia. So I changed back to Zyprexa again for a couple of months then decided to give the seroquel a try again, starting at a low dosage and increasing it slowly. When I increased the dosage to 200mg I suddenly started getting severe panic attacks and a sense of dread and anxiety that would not go away. So I changed back to Zyprexa again. This was about a month ago and the anxiety has not gone anywhere. I live with a sense of dread and panic every minute of every day. Could this be akathisia again? The last time I had it I couldn't sit still which is different now, its just a sense of inner distress that hangs with me. I don't know what to do! My doctor thinks its just normal anxiety but I really feel like the seroquel caused some kind of physiological change, its completely abnormal for me.
By OCD Mama
I've done a little lurking and thought I would finally post something in hopes of being able to relate to others, get advice and perhaps even help others.
Let me introduce myself. I'm Sara, I am a 29 year old mother to one beautiful, 5 year old little girl. She's my only. And my everything. Not long after giving birth to my daughter, I developed postpartum depression and OCD. The OCD took the form of intrusive thoughts. Thoughts of harming my baby. Of course, this sent me on the worst anxiety roller coaster I had ever experienced. I didn't understand what was happening to me or why. I knew I didn't want the thoughts or to harm my tiny baby but I couldn't turn off the thoughts. I started googling and that was both a blessing and curse. I found stories of other women suffering from Postpartum OCD and quickly realized that I had just that. But I also came across awful stories of psychosis that only sent my anxiety to the highest peak imaginable. I eventually convinced myself that I would become psychotic and harm my child. I never had the desire to act on my thoughts (thankfully) but would have to assure myself that if I ever felt that I was going to act on the thoughts, I would take my own life before I harmed my child in any way. Now I was paralyzed with fear and unable to function so I sought out help. After a few trials of multiple drugs and psych's, I ended up on Luvox which literally saved my life. I stayed on for 3 years and functioned really well. Took a break for a year and then last year, had a particularly rough and stressful time in my life and I wasn't coping so well so I decided to go back on. About 6 months being back on Luvox, I became less motivated, anxiety started creeping back in and then the intrusive thoughts resurfaced briefly. The thoughts arent there so much now and I think they only lasted briefly because I recalled how to manage them from prior CBT therapy. However, the anxiety, the feeling of "Something is really wrong with me" wouldn't leave. So back to the psych I went. She ordered genetic testing which revealed I have the COMT met/met gene mutation- meaning I have excess dopamine in my brain. Luvox is not effective or has adverse reactions to those with this type of mutation and advised that I taper off because it was now ineffective. Which I don't understand completely because it worked well for so long before and now- nothing. So the tapering is going...I wouldn't say well... but it's going. Im down to 25mg. And let me tell you, this is HARD to get off of.
Looking back at my life, I realize that there were always OCD tendencies ad anxiety issues thanks to traumatic events in my childhood. But I guess full on OCD came on when I gave birth to my child.
Currently, I just feel something is "off", I have anxiety like crazy, I obsess with whether or not I am or will become schizophrenic because yup, my OCD has turned me into a compulsive "googler," As soon as I see an article about the gene mutation I have being related to schizophrenia or psychosis, I basically panic. (thought the literature says it isn't always) I get incredibly anxious and dizzy in public, I experience DP/DR, I have hypnagogic hallucinations which can be attributed to the meds, the anxiety or even narcolepsy. I'm not sure what it is that is "off" or if this is all attributed to tapering off of luvox. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading my story.
Just curious, does anyone get anxious about phones ringing? I turn my landline off because it makes me jump every time it starts ringing. I use a cell phone that only a few contacts are allowed to use, and it is better because I can customize the ringtone to something I like.
Anyway, anyone else out there who feels the same?
I have issues surrounding psychosomatic pregnancy and have discovered that my PMS symptoms are different this month and have gradually changed since my anxiety returned. I used to get characteristically sore breasts but now I have hardly any symptoms before a period. I am 17 and have been getting my period for 4 years. Is it normal for my symptoms to change month to month?