nervousbat

Fixing my hair for hours

5 posts in this topic

I'm putting this in the SA category because I am pretty sure this is related to the fear I have of being judged poorly/criticized. I got up this morning and went about my usual routine of straightening my hair, but my hair decided it didn't want to cooperate and no matter what I did I could not get it to look right. Even when I tried wearing a hat it didn't look right, nothing worked. It was really hard not to stand in front of the mirror and get sucked back into doing it again. Like when I went to brush my teeth I ended up getting obsessed again and took way longer in the bathroom than I intended. This happens pretty much weekly. It seems almost like an OCD characteristic, but probably not as bad. It is still frustrating, I'm sure a non-anxious person could deal with it if they were having a bad hair day, but for me it's like "If I don't get this to look normal/right, it is going to be hell if I leave the house today, people are going to say such mean things to me if I look bad/dumb/like a dork." I'm an adult and this type of worry seems so juvenile to me, but yet here it is still eating away at me. So annoying, god. ūüė†¬†

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@nervousbat, Have you ever considered not straightening your hair?

I have curly hair, and I have it cut in a style that enhances my curls.....I do have to use a bit of anti-frizz serum on it, and a bit of gel after shampooing, and then I let it dry by itself.......Looks beautiful, and when I do have visitors, they compliment me on my hair, and say they wish they had my curls.

I threw out all my straightening tools long ago......Maybe you could try to just embrace your curls.....that's what I did, anyway.

Just my 2 cents.

Edited by CrazyRedhead
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, CrazyRedhead said:

@nervousbat, Have you ever considered not straightening your hair?

I have curly hair, and I have it cut in a style that enhances my curls.....I do have to use a bit of anti-frizz serum on it, and a bit of gel after shampooing, and then I let it dry by itself.......Looks beautiful, and when I do have visitors, they compliment me on my hair, and say they wish they had my curls.

I threw out all my straightening tools long ago......Maybe you could try to just embrace your curls.....that's what I did, anyway.

Just my 2 cents.

Hi redhead, I'm glad to hear from you, it's much appreciated. Yeah, I have curly hair too, it's fine and a combination of wavy and curly. I didn't start straightening it all the time until I finished high school. Prior to that I only did it for special occasions. My hair was natural, but had no clue about how to style it so it was pretty plain. I think I feel compelled to straighten it because there's so many bad memories around when it was natural, I hear all the insults people said about it. Things have changed now though and I do want to embrace my natural curls, just don't know how to style it. I tried a short cropped look but it was impossible to replicate even with mousse after I went to the stylist. My hair ended up a poofy mess for a few months after that. The hair style I have now is a bit easier and doesn't look too bad when it's natural, it's like a curly bob that becomes shorter at the back. I will look up videos on how to style it without using heat because I know the heat tools aren't good for it. This is pretty crazy, but I tried to stop using heat tools on my hair over the summer and I even gave away one of them to charity. I thought I could force myself to stop using them, but I could not figure out how to manage my hair while it was natural. I think though it will be easier now that my hair has a more flattering look. I guess I was sort of defeated the last time I tried going back to natural and that's why I'm back here using the heat tools, but I will give it another try. Although I don't think I will purge my heat tools this time. 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is really frustrating!

I can't relate since my hair looks like a bird's nest sometimes but still must be so frustrating to let it consume you to that point.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, nervousbat said:

Hi redhead, I'm glad to hear from you, it's much appreciated. Yeah, I have curly hair too, it's fine and a combination of wavy and curly. I didn't start straightening it all the time until I finished high school. Prior to that I only did it for special occasions. My hair was natural, but had no clue about how to style it so it was pretty plain. I think I feel compelled to straighten it because there's so many bad memories around when it was natural, I hear all the insults people said about it. Things have changed now though and I do want to embrace my natural curls, just don't know how to style it. 

Here's a great website that I think you'll like......It has articles and all sorts of tips and tricks about how to style your curly hair, and also has recommendations on products to use.......

It even has a forum for curly girls.....I've gotten some good info from it:

https://www.naturallycurly.com/learn/

Edited by CrazyRedhead

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now