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ananke

Social anxiety and school/study

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I was panicking about a recent essay result (the worst I've gotten so far at university) and my mum implied that if I had gone to more tutorials this year, I would have done better. Now I'm really anxious about upcoming exams. Basically, I'm doing an online university and here's how my (non-mandatory) tutorials have broken down:

First year: went to most of the offline/in-person tutorials. Found them to be about 90% repetitive of the material we were already given and 10% useful, but really nothing I couldn't have known from asking my tutor. We were also given online tutorials in sort of a group skype-situation (only on the university chatroom thing). Really easy- you just showed up at one of their campuses on the dates they gave you (which were always emailed ahead of time) or did one of the online tutorial follow-ups.

Second year: went to slightly fewer. Sometimes I had to leave early because of panic, sometimes because our tutors literally didn't show up. Sort of felt like I was mostly wasting my time! Takes a lot of time (and public transport fares!) to get there, plus I'd sort of need the day to recover because social anxiety/introversion. Similar situation as first year.

Third year: complete change of the system. Now you don't get follow up online tutorials, the dates are not emailed to you and you have to register for each tutorial. I also have dyspraxia- organisation is not my strong suit and the whole registering process for no good reason freaked me out. The changes make a lot more sense, but also was hugely stressful. I don't like change and I guess I just felt the whole thing wasn't worth it. Except now because this is the first university year where we are doing exams. I haven't done exams in years and I wish I had gone to some of the tutorials for them. 

Also worth pointing out- there are about ten or so tutorials or day schools each year. You can usually find tutor notes and stuff on one of the forums. 

I feel like a big failure. They warn us that people don't do as well in the exams as they do in the marked assignments throughout the year, so I'm just worried these exams are going to bring down my overall grade. Plus, even though I'm going to get more time in the exam (see dyspraxia!) I don't think that'll actually help me because I'm an idiot. I'm revising really hard, I have probably destroyed a small forest with my notes, but I struggle understanding subtleties in questions and I fear I'll have a panic attack in the exams (new situation + social anxiety).

Does anyone have any advice for exams and social anxiety? The exams aren't for another two weeks. Sorry for the massive essay, trying to calm myself down I guess. 

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Would it help to do some of your studying in public? Then you have people around and the distractions that brings. Maybe go to a coffee shop for a couple hours in the afternoon.

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I can't focus around other people. Even with noise reducing headphones, the general 'loudness' of people (moving around, making noise, etc) is really distracting. I've had it suggested it to me before and even tried it in study groups at school, but I can't do it! People are just too much haha. Today is a family members birthday so we're going out to eat and I'm allowed to bring my revision notes, so maybe I can try it again? If nothing else, I'm pretty sure my mum is motivated to see me succeed so she won't mind testing me

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