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On 11/30/2017 at 4:31 PM, malachite said:

Lifequake,

 

I cannot begin to understand the utter devastation ECT has had on your brain, body, and life. I am so deeply sorry, I have no words to even express it.

 

After my horrible experience with ECT, I truly wanted to work on banning it in this country (it is banned in many others.) So many folks told me of how much it helped them though that I thought my experience was just a huge anomaly. I have PTSD due to having it.

I do not believe that the medical establishment's idea of informed consent is close to adequate. First of all, if you have a patient so depressed they are considering getting their brain shocked repeatedly, you have a patient who is desperate and who likely has cognitive impairment due to severe depression.

 

Secondly, there is never a mention of how often things don't work, or worse, are detrimental to the patient. Only after I had delirium from ECT did my doctor inform us that 12 percent of ECT patients experience this! I was never even told it was a possibility!

Honestly, I have barely faced the memory loss I have. It's hard to remember what you have forgotten,  right? For me, it's long-term stuff, I think. But I also have had trauma and years of depression so I am sure that's what docs would pin it on.

I would like to be of comfort and assistance to you, in any small way I can. You have always been a good friend to me here on cb, and I imagine what you are going through is terrifying, infuriating, and sorrowful. If you would like to message me we could talk about what I might do to be there for you. I would be honored if you did.

 

 

I wish I had seen this sooner, mal, as your words are of great comfort.  And I cannot believe you had delirium, too!!  I realized, only after weeks of delirium, that my nightmarish experience might have a name.  Guess I was correct in my self-diagnosis. 

No idea how I have endured all of this without any professional help or validation, but the severe PTSD and ignorance has made me reticent and mistrustful.

Did you see any psychiatrists or medical professionals after the ECT who understood your experience?  How did you start to pick up the pieces afterward?

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On 12/1/2017 at 3:01 PM, Iceberg said:

Have u tried TMS...I can't say I'm a huge believer but it has much less side effects

Thank you for the suggestion, Ice.

TMS would be traumatizing.  The splitting headaches and burning feeling in my brain make me cry almost daily.

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On 12/9/2017 at 10:52 PM, lifequake said:

I wish I had seen this sooner, mal, as your words are of great comfort.  And I cannot believe you had delirium, too!!  I realized, only after weeks of delirium, that my nightmarish experience might have a name.  Guess I was correct in my self-diagnosis. 

No idea how I have endured all of this without any professional help or validation, but the severe PTSD and ignorance has made me reticent and mistrustful.

Did you see any psychiatrists or medical professionals after the ECT who understood your experience?  How did you start to pick up the pieces afterward?

I am so glad my words brought you comfort. Honestly, I have felt so traumatized by ECT that I haven't spoken much about it with professionals.  I have mentioned it, but not really unpacked my trauma. Not because they wouldn't be open and supportive, but in the way that all trauma works and tries to make us avoid it because it hurts and scares us. I wish I had spoken of it sooner to the right professional,  and I hope you can find someone you trust in order to process and grieve and hopefully not have this trauma stay with you forever. Earlier processing probably means fewer emotional scars later on. 

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