Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Martyr

Can social anxiety go away on its own?

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

 

Brief summary of my situation: 

Ive had social anxiety for either 3 or 4 years (self diagnosed), started at around the same time I hit puberty weirdly, and what i have trouble with is constant swallowing (I feel as if spit piles up in my mouth rather quickly), slightly shaky hands (only noticeable if I lift them), and one that has really damaged my life is my unwillingness to socialize or even speak at all.

I definitely do not want to take therapy, just the thought of being alone in a room with a stranger, having to open up about everything personal makes me anxious. That is definitely at the bottom of my list. I've already considered pills, but Ive asked my mother far to many times and now I cant even mention it now without my mom going berserk. 

Conclusion, self therapy (Is that a thing?) or hopefully, it'll go away when Im older. Obviously, I have doubts about the last one, but I seriously wonder if it's possible. I have noticed its lessened since last year, and just last night I had a dream about socializing in a way I never had and I took that as a sign as a new stage in my life. 

Advice? Opinions? Personal experiences? Also, ways to cope? Thanks in advance. ^_^

Edited by Martyr

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How do i delete this I just realized I shouldve posted this in the social phobia forum instead of the anxiety one.:dunce:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No need to delete. I can move it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just wanted to say that i'm sorry you are going through this ... I can empathize with you, I have social anxiety also. 

Idk if it will go away on your own. 

Recently, as in last week, I found something that I wanted to do for years now (seeing a chiropractor) and it gave me hope ... I have to walk there ... but now I actually want to get out of the house to walk there, and running into someone as I walk there I really don't care about because I want to get the chiro treatments. I mean I still do care about if I run into someone, but it seems to have lightened up a little.  I guess I'll see on Tues when I have the appt.

I think the only thing that might get in the way of everything is if I fall into a deep depression ... or my mood in general might make things harder.  My mood seems to run a big part of my life.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Hey, I can relate to the puberty stuff. I was pretty neurotic as a child, but it hit me hard as a teenager. Whether it gets better or not depends on how you deal with it. Tbh if you're still in school, this is your best chance to deal with it. You'll never be in such a complex social environment ever again, and if you have social issues, I think now's the time to sort them out rather than retreat into your comfort zone. My middle school was an all-boys school. I started by observing people around me. What's the correct response to this social situation? What would a normal person say? How do I make small talk with strangers? Frankly up till today I still abhor the question "How are you?" because I can never quite give the appropriate answer without a tinge of awkwardness. Then I hit high school and I suddenly had to interact with girls. That was killer. But I did the same thing and it worked out. 

The first time I got dragged to the shrink I guess it was awkward and I was mildly anxious, but I had at that point in time already sorted out a lot of my GAD, so I'm not sure what advice to give you on that end (I was mainly seeing him about my nasty PD), although if I were you, I'd do it. The good psychotherapists (the proper ones!) are very experienced, and you shouldn't feel embarrassed about opening up to a stranger, or anxious. I worked in a military psych ward at a point in time, was in consult rooms helping with note taking and everything, and honestly know this much: no one is judging you, and you can rest assured that the person in front of you has seen FAR weirder shit than anything you could confess to him/her. Hell, me and the shrinks I used to work with had patients actively trying to kill themselves, people who claimed to have lived on Jupiter for a month and psychopaths obsessed with hurting others in the most fucked up ways. Trust me, there's nothing to be anxious about in seeing a psych/psychiatrist. 

To this day I still am slightly socially anxious, but in no way that interferes with my life. I'd advise you to start being 'observant' in the manner that I previously described. Start watching body language. Start mimicking people. Find a small group of close friends who accept you for who you are. You can start off using this small group as a crutch. Go to social events with them, and when you feel things are getting too awkward, just default back to them. Occasionally they will introduce someone new into the circle, and you'll be forced to form a new acquaintance. So be it. But you still have your other friends as a crutch. Start small, that's what I did. Soon I found myself sitting around a table in a cafeteria with some friends and some strangers. Was I the leader of the conversation? No. Was I speaking at all? Maybe a few lines, just to my friends. But when I wasn't, I was observing and observing, and slowly getting more confident in myself. Just try it, soon you will reach the stage I'm at and trying to overcome. I call it the obsessing over emails and texts to strangers/acquaintances phase. I've reached the stage where I would much prefer talking to a stranger face to face or over the phone, because I can observe their body language and tone of voice etc. I absolutely hate emails because I keep getting "socially anxious" over the semantics! gawddammit. Another thing that also helps to to become articulate. Start to read more complex books. Then start to write. Then start to speak. People often are very scared about stammering and stuff, and I used to stammer (and still do, when public speaking), but you can work on it. People also think there's a big difference between writing and speaking, but from my experience, not really. When you learn to write, you learn to think 'in words'. And that makes speaking coherently so much easier. 

Here's some food for thought I guess. I always viewed my anxiety as a heightened awareness about the world around me. How anything and everything can go wrong. How anyone and everyone will be constantly judging me. And none of that is false. But I can do nothing to make my surroundings any less terrifying. The only thing I can do is make myself more courageous. Make yourself stronger instead of making the walls thicker. At first this may just seem like trying to approach 'normalcy', trying to not be an anxious mess all the time, fit in with the crowd and be a regular human being. But trust me, once you start facing your fears voluntarily, you can surpass even that. Best of luck. 

Edited by Kisuke

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

I'd say it depends. A lot of factors are at play. Some cases go away on their own - others are chronic and worsen if remain untreated. Depends on your specific plethora of possible causes.

BTW did you consider online therapy? there are some options today that you can consider that even allow full anonymity (if that is something that's important to you... i know some people refrain from therapy simply cause of the shame evolved in opening up)

Edited by nxiet

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

It goes away if you're more social.  As i've gotten older mine has gone away too.

Honestly the only thing that makes fears go away is confrontation.  I know, we tend to avoid confrontation as people with anxiety, but it's true.

I used to have awful social anxiety, but when I went on meds, I could easily be more social.  Slowly but surely peeled the meds away and my social anxiety wasnt as strong as before.

Luckily now we can confront them with the help of medications....You can do it without the medications, it'll just be a lot more stressful.

Edited by BrianOCD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Similar Content

    • By Cagedxbutterfly
      Who else has to drink before social functions?
      I drink pretty much now for everything social such as parties even to hangout with a buddy or two...just about everything. Alcohol is my crutch now and I like to mix it with Kpin when I have it. Anybody else do this? 
    • By babythrowaway
      So, I don't have a lot of experience with meds. I took Prozac a long, long time ago (8 years?) briefly and it didn't really do much. If anything, it made me feel worse at the time. Tried Wellbutrin at a low dose last year and it made my already pretty regular, vivid dreams increase in occurrence and severity. So I stopped. I'm pretty nervous about handling medication in general and was wondering if anyone had any experiences that they could share specifically with Effexor? I'm supremely nervous, as I can barely function as it is and don't know how these side effects may impact me. How long does it take to feel effect? And does anyone know at what threshold of dosage it'll actually help? I'm really flying blind here and could use any help.
      I'm super new to all of this. I've had a lot of different mental problems since being a kid and am just now getting around to talking to a psychiatrist and sorting through what the hell is going on in my brain. I have GAD, PTSD, social anxiety/phobias, and some other random phobias (honestly, once the anxiety/social stuff is taken care of THEN I'll work on the random phobias). Symptoms include daily paralyzing anxiety, racing negative thoughts, panic attacks, depression, anxiety around people, anxiety leaving my apartment, vivid depressing dreams, paranoia, and, recently, EXTREME amounts of jumpiness + increased paranoia (brain likes to hit me with the scariest, worst thing that could happen to me in that moment, but I don't see/hear anything, just paranoid thoughts). There are more but that's the abbreviated list. Been especially bad for about 5-6 months and finally pushed myself to get some help. Wasn't "suicidal" per se, but was definitely tossing the idea around last year; it's subsequently been replaced by extreme, crippling existentialism. Weirdly a great cure for suicidal thoughts, but also sucks in its own way. (Bonus fun random symptom: recently been waking up in the middle of the night, fine, then having to run to the bathroom and puke my guts out + covered in cold sweats and feeling like I'm literally going to pass out. Lasts 45 min or so, sometimes less, then I go back to bed and I'm fine the next day. Recently realized I must be waking up into panic attacks. Has been happening 1-2 times a month for almost the past year.)
      Welp, so, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. It was both an extremely good thing and also extremely traumatizing because I tend to suppress, suppress - that's how I function. But, anyways, he prescribed me Effexor. I'm only taking 37.5 for one week, then upping to 75. I'll see him again in three weeks to re-evaluate how I'm doing. I'm super duper terrified because, well, let's be real - that's my natural state. I've only been on it two days and I feel fine-ish, I guess. I had a particularly anxiety-ridden last week so my current definition of 'fine' is not having a panic attack every other day so my bar for "fine" is messed up this week. But, seriously, I'm fine. I'm just worried. I'm curious as to how long it generally takes to feel side effects for medicines like these. Is it right away? Is it months? I honestly don't even know if those are questions anyone can answer. I'm just feeling kind of alone in all of this and looking for people who know what I'm going through.
    • By Bruh
      Hi,
      I have sever social anxiety, depression and very likely ADHD (I'll get assessed for it soon hopefully). My GP prescribed me Citalopram 10mg, I'm starting taking it tomorrow but I was just curios because from reading around I understand it can make depression and anxiety worse at start. I was wondering if anyone had experiences with this drug and how was it?
×