Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

Both. When I get the chance, I am drinking. Other times, I am sneaking out with one of my friends to do something or another.

 

And when I am doing neither, I am crying in a corner or screaming at a phone that is only ringing to myself.

 

Without the first, I am doing the other. And the same goes even for when I am out, even if the screaming is internal.

 

I used to have a grip on things, but I found the less social I got, the more illness got in the way of my everyday life. But, addiction is an illness, so maybe it's just illness for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I am stable, addiction rules my life, especially Xanax. But when I am not stable, my bipolar takes over and reeks havoc on my life. I am more stable that not, so I would say addiction to Xanax rules my life (not rules but plays .a large part). I tried stopping twice but had a seizure both times and was hospitalized. Like tonight I took 10mg Xanax and barely felt it, along with 2 beers, I am beginning to think it's a waste to take excessive doses especially when I get no recreational effect from them. I need someone to control my Xanax supply so I only take what is prescribed to me (1mg twice daily) and nothing more.

This high tolerance to Xanax and Valium is killing me, but maybe it's a sign that I need to take a break and take lower doses for a month or so, but I heard benzo tolerance is a bitch and takes a while to go down :wtf:I was dependent on marijuana but have since been 2 weeks clean so yaaaay for that. Other than that, I need to work on not taking 10mg Xanax just to feel good and taking my prescribed dose, since high doses do nothing for me anyway unless combined with Long Island Iced teas :shame:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, both. I drink too much and I suffer from daily psychosis even on quetiapine and various others. If one of those problems would go away then the other might, but I can't see it. When it comes to "ruling my life", though, it's neither. It's the desire for life and the love for the people I care about which rules my life. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Neither. I have overcome both, but they both caused immense suffering. Although because of addiction, I have seen multiple friends die in front of me, and much, much more die and wither away on the inside. But neither rules my life, I take control of the cards I've been dealt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish I could drink because a paper said one drink a day is good for body.

I don't drink because I don't want to be fat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mental illness 100 percent. My addiction is subtle if an addiction at all. Used to smoke weed every day. Drink 1 beer 4 times a week. I think my case is that my meds arnt working well so a beer or a bowl will help my depression temporarily. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not an addict or anything, though I do rotate the shops I buy drink from because I don't want anyone who works there to get the wrong impression and think that I have a drinking problem or anything. Nope! No drinking problem here! Drinking is fine but I do drink too much and I think it is mainly down to mental illness. Feeling crap? How about getting drunk to maybe feel better for a while? Or sometimes as an act or self-destruction to make myself feel worse - depends what sort of mood I'm in. And if I do feel OK then there's no-one to share my okayness with since my problems with socialising have left me single and friendless. So how about getting drunk so I'll forget how alone I am? And then there's the anxiety about socialising at all. I'm worthless and nobody's going to like me and blah de blah de blah. A few drinks will cure what ails me and I might momentarily break through that wall which always divides me from other people.

So I wouldn't need to drink if I a)Never felt depressed. b)Liked myself, and was therefore was able to c)Form relationships with other people. I mean I'd still drink because drinking is fucking great! But I wouldn't drink a liver destroying amount of booze to help soothe whatever damn problem my brain has found with existing today. "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×