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HellenaHandbasket

If you're manic and you know it...

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I can't even believe I'm doing this again. 

 

I'm not eating, I'm staying up too late, I'm drinking too much. I let an office flirtation turn into so much more. I always look back on times of mania and think, "God, what a disaster," but when I'm in it I wonder why because it feels amazing. I'm both completely rational and totally out of control. 

 

This is what it's like to be on your meds, but still manic. I guess that's... Interesting?

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Yup, I know the feeling. So, so well. Want some advice with the commiseration?

Call your pdoc ASAP. You need an anti-psychotic. 

Don't watch merrily while your life circles the drain. Whatever luck you've had before that's sufficed to get you here in one piece is not a predictor of future outcomes. There are other ways to feel good. Like by having the life you want. Which requires stability.

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Yup, sure sounds like your manic or hypomanic at the very least.  Your meds are not doing the trick and you need to find a different drug or combination.  Hypomania and mania are so seductive but so dangerous.

I have been hypomanic at times where it felt better than any drug I have ever done (and I've done a fucking lot of drugs, trust me).  It's unbelievable and indescribable to others.  God, what an AMAZING feeling, so euphoric.  But it's all chemical and that's why it gets us into trouble.  You think it's real but it's not.  The other 90% of society that doesn't have some mental ailment simply can't understand.  So much of what we feel, and therefore how we act or who we act with, is just in our heads.

If I could bottle that feeling I'd never feel anything else.  But that's not reality.  Reality always comes crashing back in on the mania party when you least expect it.  This is the danger time.  You were feeling so freaking great and now you're feeling so freaking bad.  This is when despair comes in and suicide attempts happen.

Please talk to your pdoc or any doc about this.  Reign in your brain chemicals and take control of your life.  It is possible and it's great when it happens.

Edited by Distorted Me

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Sounds like you need the good stuff. What's worked for u in the past? Zyprexa is a great knockout punch if you need a starting point 

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This was posted In July... lol.. hopefully she is ok and her medication is adjusted.

Edited by KnickNak

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I personally have only been recently (2 months ago) properly diagnosed as BP 2.  I'm 43 and was misdiagnosed as depressed with ADHD 11 years ago so up until recently it's been the usual SSRI's with Wellbutrin for ADHD and various benzos to calm my ass down when I got super anxious, crazy, or too hypo-manic

I'm trying Vraylar now but just started it at 1.5 mg yesterday.  So far, so good though.  I've tried 4-5 others already for my BP in just two months and they either reacted badly with my body like akathisia or made my RLS many times worse.  Depakote was on I tried the longest but it made me feel like shit and gave me this incredible lower back pain that would not go away.

It's really a crap shoot since everybody's chemistry is so different.  It's really impossible to tell what's going to work for you until you actually try it.

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