12 posts in this topic
Hi, this is my first post on in the OCD group. I was diagnosed with OCD about 7 years ago but have been untreated for about 5 of those. I was feeling better and didn't feel like I needed help anymore. Lately, I've been obsessed with the idea that I don't have OCD, but have something else like schizophrenia or some kind of psychotic disorder. It has been pointed out to me that some of my symptoms do actually seem like Pure O OCD and I was just perceiving them as something else because I've had no compulsions outwardly. I always knew about pure O, but for some reason my mind obsessed about the fact that it could be something else which I realize is kind of part of the disorder . Basically, now I feel really stupid and think people are judging me for having these thoughts. It's like this never-ending cycle or questioning myself and self-hatred that I can't stop thinking about because I have OCD!
I've been taking Zoloft 75 mg and Risperidone .75 mg per day for these problems. My doctor is going to increase the Zoloft but wanted to wait because I also have ADD and we're starting Adderall so she didn't want to add that and increase the medication at the same time. I have a few questions for other people that have been through this:
1. Does anyone have experience with Zoloft working to control their obsessions? I feel like they aren't going away and I know it takes time and I can increase dosages, but I'm just wondering if anyone has had success with it when finding the correct dose?
2. Has anyone else been prescribed a low dose antipsychotic for their OCD? I have paranoia because of my OCD and we were trying to stop those thoughts. I felt like it was working, but then realized I just became obsessed with other things. So what if I'm taking this medication and don't really need it? Anyone have success with antipsychotics?
3. Can anyone tell me Clomipramine works better for OCD than Zoloft? I just saw that it is almost exclusively used to treat OCD and didn't know if it was something I should ask my doctor about.
Thanks for listening. I'm just feeling rather hopeless today. I don't want to get out of bed because something embarrassing happened last night and I obviously can't stop thinking about it. Another question: does anyone else have great difficulty being embarrassed? I feel like all I do is dwell on it for way too long. I am trying to stop. I just have no idea how. I feel like such a loser right now.
one of my obsessions is over the labels I use to define myself. my sexuality (which, I know, is it's own sub-type within the framework of OCD), my subcultures, my hobbies. I feel like I can't call myself a nerd, or a writer. as if I somehow am not qualified. or I'm using the word wrong. or it just doesn't apply to me the way it applies to other people. labels eat at me, I can't stop thinking about them, but they all feel wrong. nothing fits, nothing's right. but I need to know what is right. I need to sort myself into boxes so I make sense. so I'm not chaos made flesh. I feel like if I can't define myself, with certainty, that I'm not a person.
does anyone else have this?
By OCD Mama
I've done a little lurking and thought I would finally post something in hopes of being able to relate to others, get advice and perhaps even help others.
Let me introduce myself. I'm Sara, I am a 29 year old mother to one beautiful, 5 year old little girl. She's my only. And my everything. Not long after giving birth to my daughter, I developed postpartum depression and OCD. The OCD took the form of intrusive thoughts. Thoughts of harming my baby. Of course, this sent me on the worst anxiety roller coaster I had ever experienced. I didn't understand what was happening to me or why. I knew I didn't want the thoughts or to harm my tiny baby but I couldn't turn off the thoughts. I started googling and that was both a blessing and curse. I found stories of other women suffering from Postpartum OCD and quickly realized that I had just that. But I also came across awful stories of psychosis that only sent my anxiety to the highest peak imaginable. I eventually convinced myself that I would become psychotic and harm my child. I never had the desire to act on my thoughts (thankfully) but would have to assure myself that if I ever felt that I was going to act on the thoughts, I would take my own life before I harmed my child in any way. Now I was paralyzed with fear and unable to function so I sought out help. After a few trials of multiple drugs and psych's, I ended up on Luvox which literally saved my life. I stayed on for 3 years and functioned really well. Took a break for a year and then last year, had a particularly rough and stressful time in my life and I wasn't coping so well so I decided to go back on. About 6 months being back on Luvox, I became less motivated, anxiety started creeping back in and then the intrusive thoughts resurfaced briefly. The thoughts arent there so much now and I think they only lasted briefly because I recalled how to manage them from prior CBT therapy. However, the anxiety, the feeling of "Something is really wrong with me" wouldn't leave. So back to the psych I went. She ordered genetic testing which revealed I have the COMT met/met gene mutation- meaning I have excess dopamine in my brain. Luvox is not effective or has adverse reactions to those with this type of mutation and advised that I taper off because it was now ineffective. Which I don't understand completely because it worked well for so long before and now- nothing. So the tapering is going...I wouldn't say well... but it's going. Im down to 25mg. And let me tell you, this is HARD to get off of.
Looking back at my life, I realize that there were always OCD tendencies ad anxiety issues thanks to traumatic events in my childhood. But I guess full on OCD came on when I gave birth to my child.
Currently, I just feel something is "off", I have anxiety like crazy, I obsess with whether or not I am or will become schizophrenic because yup, my OCD has turned me into a compulsive "googler," As soon as I see an article about the gene mutation I have being related to schizophrenia or psychosis, I basically panic. (thought the literature says it isn't always) I get incredibly anxious and dizzy in public, I experience DP/DR, I have hypnagogic hallucinations which can be attributed to the meds, the anxiety or even narcolepsy. I'm not sure what it is that is "off" or if this is all attributed to tapering off of luvox. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading my story.
Anyone here try haloperidol to control OCD symptoms? If so how did things work out? I know everyone is different, I would just like to get a general picture. Truth be told, I'm pretty nervous because someone once told me about what a horrible drug it was and how it makes you kind of psychotic. Eek. However, my Pdoc is putting me on a very low dose (1-2mg daily.)
Any comments would be of big help.