Hi everyone So here's a little background: I have been taking Klonopin daily for 4+ years now. The dosage at first was 1mg a day, increased to 2mg a day, then 3mg a day, back down to 2mg. I was on 2mg a day for the majority of the time using Klonopin. At the beginning of 2018, I discussed with my psych that I want to VERY slowly taper off Klonopin completely, since I feel my anxiety and panic are not as bad as they were, especially with being on Prozac. He agreed, so we tapered very slowly. I would make 25% to 33% reductions every visit. So far I have made it down to 0.75mg a day. That's huge for me! My anxiety is still close to nonexistent, but I do worry about one thing. When I do eventually get off Klonopin completely, will my anxiety and panic come back even though I have been having mild symptoms from tapering that do, eventually go away? Looking for answers from people who have gotten off benzo daily use and successfully remained (mostly) anxiety-free. Thank you very much.
In January of this year I woke up with a panic attack completely out of the blue. Despite several episodes of anxiety and depression in my 20s, my last episode was back in 2008! At that time I went through a year or so of therapy, committed to staying on 30mg of Paxil, and I never looked back. I honestly would have said I was cured! The panic attack led to a period of anxiety that lasted right through February. I upped the Paxil to 40mg and worked with a psychiatrist who suggested adding Lamictal. We started at 25mg for 2 weeks, 50mg for 2 weeks, and then 75mg. I started noticing a positive difference at about a week on 75mg. A few days later, the anxiety and depression just lifted! It was like I had my life back. For nearly a month I felt great, and believed the Lamictal must have made the difference. Unfortunately, it didn't last.
About a week ago something minor triggered anxiety in me, and again it has lasted! My psychiatrist recommended going up to 100mg of Lamictal, so I started that two days ago. My question is, does lamictal work and then wear off if it's not at the right level? Has anyone had success with an SSRI and lamictal for anxiety and depression, not related to bipolar disorder? Can anyone offer advice on how to keep the faith with these medication changes, or how to overcome anxiety? Looking for others who get it, and want to help!
I tapered of ativan because I felt like it was making me like the energizer bunny. I would start reading a book, 15 min later do dishes, 20 min later go on a run, 10 minutes into the run get tired of it, go inside watch a tv show for 10 min, then do something else. I couldn't focus on one damn thing at a time. Well I refilled the prescription and I felt great yesterday and the day before but now I actually feel more anxious. Not exactly anxiety per se, but almost like an agitation that makes me on edge, makes me worry more. I function better. Showering, cleaning, not daydreaming all day or dissociating. But I just hate the rotten feeling of agitation and not being able to relax. Would a longer acting benzo help? Such as klonipin. This was the same thing I experienced on xanax except no agitation but more energizer bunny and 15 incremental sessions all day. But this time I keep worrying, I can't be patient, little things annoy me. I'm getting frustrated even thinking about thinking about it.
So I've been clean for almost three months now.
Today my mom and I got into a huge argument. She mentioned something along the lines of, "you're gonna be pissed off so you're gonna go cut yourself huh?" It really upset me for some reason. The way she said it was so cold, like it was an insult. I thought she really cared though. Then she said something similar to, "you're gonna cut your arm." When I went back into my room, I couldn't help but cry. When she brought the topic of self harming up, it was the first time I even thought about it in months. It was a sick reminder. I don't know, I'm not really looking for advice or anything. I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Driving makes me so anxious I can't deal with it. I have panic attacks and some times I disassociate. I've decided that I can't do it anymore right now. My therapist says I shouldn't quit and I need to power through it or the anxiety will win, but it's just too much. Besides, I don't think it's safe to drive when I start disassociating or panicking and not paying attention to the road. There's not always a safe place to pull over if I start freaking out. Maybe I'm exaggerating the safety concerns because I don't want to do it though. I don't know.
I know it will be a hardship for my family. My spouse and kids don't drive, so we will be reliant on the in-laws for rides, which makes me feel guilty, but I think it's for the best for me right now.