Unicorn

When the sympathy subsided

8 posts in this topic

I hadn’t been cutting for long before I was found out. My parents sent me to therapy hoping for a full recovery. I haven’t cut since the end of May -a little over for months ago- but I still fantasize about it everyday. I feel that since I’m not an active cutter I’m seen as being better but I’m not better. The urge is still there and life is harder now that I’m not doing essentially the only thing that remedied the pain. I wish I coined express this frustration to someone but I hate to disappoint. I burdened my parents and enough already and don’t want to hurt them anymore. How can I make the urge go away or get my parents to see that I haven’t fully recovered without hurting them? If you have any advice please lmk. Thanks. 

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Recovery takes time.

Good on you for stopping doing something that was actively hurting you, even though you still have thoughts and urges. 

The trick is to give yourself more tools to release the emotional pressure, to actively cope, and to build more wellness so you don't just have to rely on self harm. It takes a while to rewire the brain to have these kinds of tools and skills be as reliable as self harm in terms of giving relief.

Four months is a good run at stopping something. And it takes longer to have replacements that are reliably effective.

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4 months is great. Congratulations!

In my experience the thoughts continue for a while after the behaviour stops. You definitely need replacement strategies for dealing with emotional pain in order to continue to avoid self injuring. Something needs to fill that void.

You could try writing a letter to your parents. I think it's better to tell them now that it's a struggle. If you keep that to yourself they will next find out if you slip and because it seems sudden they may not react as helpfully. It will probably be less painful for them to hear about it now rather than later. If they know now you can work together to be proactive rather than reactive.

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Just, speaking as a parent of teens + older, you're NOT being a burden. If they immediately sought out therapy for you, then I can assume they're caring and want to help you. Please let them do that, and don't shoulder guilt.

And, speaking as an MI person with a decades long history of various SI, please get help. Let someone, anyone, know you're still suffering. I wish I had, as a youth. 

Please take care, AND let someone take care of you. 

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Agreed rabbit. That's how my parents were when they found out and they always wanted to be there and be supportive 

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