Bored and tired...Sometimes I want to stay up instead of going to bed. However, if I stay up late, I will just go on FB and scroll through my feed furiously past everyone's baby/family/xmas holiday/vacation photos/political rants (which I know will make me feel very depressed). Then once I scroll past through people's posts, I move on to speed reading random articles (often self-improvement/health articles) I make a mental note of self-help tips or whatever that I will just forget 2 minutes later. OR I will continue to Save a bunch of "read for later" articles that I never end up going back to.
My point is, social media is just a mindless, never-ending, passive distraction to escape boredom. I get sucked in primarily in the evenings, and always end up feeling like I've wasted hours of time when I could be doing something more useful/interesting/creative - but then I have no inspiration or energy to do anything "useful" in the late evenings (other than be online or watching netflix). I really need a creative hobby that I will stick with...yet nothing too difficult or consuming. Some things I've tried: knitting (fail), adult coloring books (doesn't sustain interest), reading (can't engage in books these days, my mind just wanders), listening to music (too passive), journaling (makes me too self-absorbed), studying a language (feels like a chore/work), stretching/yoga (OK for 30 minutes but not more), meditation (makes me fall asleep)....
Anyone have any ideas? What enjoyable thing do you often do in evenings after dinner (other than watching tv, social media, chores, etc.)??
Any thoughts on using sam-e or a sad light with a bp1 diagnosis? I’m not depressed and stable but really struggling to get out of bed and low energy throughout the day.
A quick google search says Sam-e and using a sad light can trigger mania if you have bp. Is this still a risk if on two mood stableizers and an antipsychotic? My pdoc is against supplements other than omegas, vitamin d and a multi.
Currently on depakote(tapering down to go off of), lithium, and seroquel.
I was diagnosed bipolar about 7 years ago around the same time as my first suicide attempt. Long story short - I rejected the diagnosis and eventually went off all meds because I thought my issues stemmed from the stress of nursing school. School over - no meds needed.
About 3 years later, started seeing a new psychiatrist and taking antidepressants. I actually felt like I had my life back...
Then, at some point recently, my son died. I had an affair. My husband and I had another child. And then affair was discovered by my husband. The intense guilt and depression led me to try to kill myself, and I recently endured my first psychiatric hospitalization.
Wellbutrin and buspar were once my miracle cocktail. I'm still on those, plus lamictal, plus latuda. Latuda is not helping me. It may have cleared my suicidal thinking, but over all... I feel lost, stuck, hopeless, and let down. I've reached out to my psychiatrist for help so many times, and I'm screwed over by the incompetent office staff each time.
Can someone just tell me it gets better? Do I even deserve better after what I've done? I'm paranoid and delusional. My intrusive thoughts seem worse each day. I want to believe it gets better. Ive dropped down to working part time and I'm seriously considering quitting.
It used to be that I only felt competent at being a mother. But now I don't even feel I can do that right.
I'm a mess.
Is there any hope? If a med didn't work for you, did you find a med that did help? I want to feel like myself again... I feel so let down that latuda isn't helping me.
Thanks for listening...
I started Abilify 2mg on Monday to try as an adjunct treatment to Wellbutrin XL 450mg. Since Monday night, I have had a headache that has not stopped, although it seems to be at it's worst maybe 6-10 hours after I've taken my meds.
It only occurred to me today that my headache might be a side effect of Abilify and I wanted to hear if anyone had similar experiences or not, and if you did if it cleared up or not
Edit to add: I've also been experiencing intense nausea, with fits of gagging and retching and I did throw up a little on Tuesday night, and a complete lack of appetite as well the last few days.
I’m currently on trileptal for hypomania, but it has made me really depressed... so i’m looking for another med to control hypomania.
already tried lamotrigine and neurontin.
thinking next stop will be either depakote or lithium.
I’m really afraid of weight gain and of feeling too flat (zombie-like).
Which will you recommend? Any experiences you can share?