Hello everyone! Where to begin...
I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder with some avoidant traits. I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since elementary school (I am 22 now).
Up til this point, I have been in and out of hospitals and treatment centers and passed around from therapist to therapist. I was heavily self- harming and abusing alcohol and other substances. A few months ago, I was sent to yet another center after a suicide attempt.
Let me tell you, it changed my life. I was introduced to DBT, which has truly saved me. I am finally on the correct medication which has seriously reduced, if not stopped, my horrid intrusive thoughts and paranoia. Before, I was to the point I could hardly get out of bed, and already had to drop out of college and leave my job. Now, I have rediscovered my love for art, I am waitressing (something I would have NEVER thought possible) and- best of all- my relationship with my fiance is SO much better and we are back to planning our wedding.
I am back to seeing a therapist regularly, and she is awesome. I've finally confronted issues with my toxic mother and am opening up about traumatic childhood experiences as well as working through family therapy with my father (and my mother, when he can convince her to join).
The fact is, life is GOOD, I am somewhere I thought I would never be and I am incredibly grateful. I'm back here to recieve support now that I am more stable and moving forward into uncharted territory in my life. Thanks for being here and reading.
First of all, happy new year everyone!
Okay, so I said I was going to do 'No cut December'. And I made it!
I realized I'm much more happier without self harm. I even stopped counting the days unconsciously, self harm wasn't a daily thought anymore. Whenever I felt down, hurting myself didn't even cross my mind.
So in 2018 I will continue my road to recovery. Thank you all for supporting me on this forum.
It's the third day of December and I decided I wanted to do this thing called 'No cut December'. I want to recover from self harm, and help others along the way as we get through this journey together.
So for the whole month of December, let's try to stay clean. It's a quite a challenge but I'm sure we can do it.
Ugh. I hate this.
I just slipped up after being twelve days clean.
I noticed I always go a period of time being clean then slip up. This has been happening for months now.
For example, I would be two weeks clean then slip up. After that, I would go like a week and a half clean and then slip up.
I'm so sick of this cycle.