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madmax15

Friend lied!

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I recently caught up with a friend from High school on Facebook. She said she lost a ton of weight like over 100 kilos and was on The Biggest Loser! I wasn't sure how true this was so I messaged some of her friends on Facebook if is it was true that she WAS on The Biggest Loser. Anyway they said no its not true! 

Soon after my friend blocked me on Facebook! I think it was because either she wasn't happy with me messaging her friends on Facebook OR she found out I caught her in a lie?!

Was it wrong for me to message her friends on Facebook to see if she was lying or not?!

We were actually meant to catch up in person because we haven't seen each other for over 15 years BUT obviously now we're not!

Edited by madmax15
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My guess is that she is just really embarrassed, because you found out she lied to you.

No, I don't think you were wrong in messaging her friends, either.

It really hurts me when I find out that someone (especially a friend) has intentionally lied to me, because I know I can't completely trust what they say anymore.

I'm so sorry this happened between you and your friend.

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4 hours ago, CrazyRedhead said:

My guess is that she is just really embarrassed, because you found out she lied to you.

No, I don't think you were wrong in messaging her friends, either.

It really hurts me when I find out that someone (especially a friend) has intentionally lied to me, because I know I can't completely trust what they say anymore.

I'm so sorry this happened between you and your friend.

Ok thanks for replying. I pretty much agree with everything you just said! 

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So if you agree with everything CrazyRedHead says, what you really mean is it's everyone else's fault, is that what we're supposed to gather?

You need therapy to learn how to socialize. You are hostile, you don't pull your own weight with gas or food or drink. You are paranoid, and never give anyone the benefit of the doubt, while expecting everyone to give *you* the benefit of the doubt, plus some. You project your own fears into other people's heads, and pretend you know what they're thinking. People aren't perfect. They say things they wish they hadn't. They blurt out things when they feel stressed out. Instead of making it a federal case, and going behind her back to badmouth her to her own friends (which was uncalled for), you should have approached her, and asked to talk it over with her. Being passive-aggressive is not a way to make or keep friends.

The extreme standards you require of others are pretty rich, given what you expect others to put up with when it comes to your behavior. You owe her an apology for the way you went behind her back.

Don't tell me, "but they agreed with me!" That makes it worse, not better. You deliberately undermined her, and for what?

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You treat people like shit, lie, take advantage and get angry when they ask for a buck for gas, complain about everything, think nothing is ever your fault. This is probably why you have trouble making and keeping friends. You're a professional victim and rely on that so nothing is your fault. 

Grow up, lose the victim bullshit. You can't handle being held responsible for your actions. 

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Jeeze.. Guys, when you offer constructive criticism you can be a little more gentle.

I do agree that part of being a friend is taking what your friend says at face value, or with a pinch of salt. Even if your friend is a compulsive liar: if the lies are not harmful to you "I was on biggest loser! I've been to Taiwan 6 times and I even got to meet Buddah! My boyfriend is a millionaire and he takes me around on his yaught!" So, personally, next time just go with it and don't gossip about it, unless of course the lie was a deal breaker. For example, if you will only be friends with people who have been on TV it is important to establish whether or not she was lying.. otherwise, who cares?

Anyway, at least you know what you did. I met with someone to catch up a few years ago and she has refused to speak with me since and I have NO IDEA what I said! I can't learn from a mistake if I don't know what it was!

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