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Hello there, my name is Spokety.  I"m having trouble dealing with my paranoia.  I've been hospitalized way too many times in the past couple of years, especially recently.  My symptoms are hard to treat because I'll have 0 paranoia and delusions for months and then all of a sudden I'll believe all these things and next thing I know I'm in a hospital.  I've ran down the street naked a couple of times as a "protest" for what I believed was a government that was purposely trying to torture me using anti-psychotics.  Another time I tried to go to jail by assaulting a woman in a grocery store.  It happens so fast it's so hard for me to control myself and it seems pointless to see a therapist because I'm not paranoid at this moment so I don't know what to talk about.  Therapists say that they don't think I can be treated without anti-psychotic medication but I've had some of my worst paranoid thoughts when I was taking medication orally or by injection so clearly that's not a solution.  Plus I have side effects of medications that make life a living hell and I'd rather die then live like that.  The only medication that doesn't seem to be as damaging is anti-anxiety meds, but I don't know if those will even help with paranoia or delusions.  I don't hear voices or have hallucinations which is good, but the other things I have are very bad.

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I decompensate very quickly also. I feel totally clear and quite suddenly I find myself delusional, afraid and behaving irrationally. I often end up in the hospital too. 

Have you tried different antipsychotic meds or just one kind? I think they are all so different. Which have you tried? 

 

 

Edited by paintedsky

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On 12/6/2017 at 5:47 PM, paintedsky said:

I decompensate very quickly also. I feel totally clear and quite suddenly I find myself delusional, afraid and behaving irrationally. I often end up in the hospital too. 

Have you tried different antipsychotic meds or just one kind? I think they are all so different. Which have you tried? 

 

 

I have tried a lot but I'm convinced my body has a chemical reaction to anti-psychotics that puts me in a state of torture.  I don't think any anti-psychotic will change this feeling.  I've been off meds for a while now and I still feel the same which proves that I've been damaged somehow by the medicine.

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This more likely has something to do with dopamine as working with it happens in every antipsychotic. Without a meds list and a list of what did not work (doses are nice, too) I can't say anything else. That would help other posters, too.  

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